SRSLY, everyone is just freaking out about this solar eclipse – is it really that big of a deal? My office doesn’t even have windows, so I’m 100% sure I will not notice when Texas gets 65% coverage. Le sigh.
Anyway, onto Day 5, and this one is a tough one for me.
Day 5 Challenge: Time to go Shopping for a High-Quality Man!
Denise is instructing us detoxers to think about the last two serious relationships we’ve had (oh, boy). She asks, what were the initial traits and qualities each man had that attracted you?
We’ll start with my most recent serious relationship (deep breath in)…
We met at a high-brow dinner party, and our first date was a private dinner prepared just for us by the chef. I really liked that he was a man who appreciated fine dining, interesting food, good wine, and was willing to splurge for our date.
On our first date, I felt like we had a lot to talk about, and he was funny and made me laugh.
The relationship before that… we met at work and I really was attracted to his drive, focus on work, and I felt like he was a family man – I always got lost imagining us as a big family.
…God, this is just embarrassing.
Now, Denise says, write why the relationship ended. What traits or things about his character led to the breakup?
Guy 1: We broke up as a result of his alcoholism. Turns out, his love for good wine was also a love for alchohol, period. He was arrested for drinking and driving multiple times and got into an accident while under the influence. Our relationship changed big time when I picked him up from jail. He was a really great liar, and was cheating on me for the entirety of our relationship.
Guy 2: We broke up after he moved out of town for work. He was obsessed with work – and worked multiple jobs. He was cheating on me, and was quickly married after we broke up. I have talked to him briefly since then, and when I asked him about his family (he has a wife and two kids), he simply said he was married to his job.
…So basically the things that attracted me to these men were the same things that made it end.
Do these men share anything in common, in retrospect?
They were both unavailable to me for different reasons (minus the cheating).
Homework: Name 1 example of a trait you must have and an example of an action your date will do that will demonstrate the trait you’re looking for.
…This is a problem. Honestly, I’ve had such issues in dating that I don’t even know what I want or what to look for. I want to say I need honesty in a man, but I don’t know what he could do to demonstrate that trait. I suppose, given my past, I need a man that is willing to make time for a woman (like me) in his life. So, he would need to tell me about his life, how he spends his time, and what he’s looking for in a partner. That sounds heavy, yes? He could make a sincere effort to make plans with me in advance.
Every time I leave my apartment wearing sweats and/or my #CatLady hat, I’m aware of the risks. By risks, I obviously mean the increased chance that I’ll either A. run into a hot guy, or B. see an ex boyfriend.
Last week, a coworker and I were chatting about various exes we had. She asked me about my very first love and if I’d seen him since we broke up.
We broke up 10 years ago, and I’m lucky enough that he lives in Chicago and is married with a child.
The chances of me running into him — or anyone that knows him — are slim to none. Thank God.
My coworker wasn’t as lucky, and said she ran into her ex/first love at a bar shortly after they broke up.
If it were me, I probably would’ve bolted, but she’s way cooler and more brave, so she stuck it out and just avoided him the whole night.
It’s been a solid while since I’ve bumped into an ex (knock on wood); the last time was about a year ago at the Albertson’s on College Drive. I was buying frozen dinners and cat food, of course.
He was walking into the store as I was leaving. My heart jumped, but I put my head down and kept walking. And that was that.
When I was actually dating that guy though, I had a bad run-in with an ex.
I was so into this new guy and I really wanted my friends to meet him. So we all agreed to have drinks at Ruffino’s.
On the drive there, we passed a car on fire — isn’t that a bad omen?
When we got to Ruffino’s, my ex was at the bar. I hadn’t seen him in years; basically since we broke up.
I kept it cool and walked right past him, even though he waved and attempted to flag me down.
But later, he came over to the group and asked to “please” talk to me.
I let him talk, but when the conversation didn’t appear to be moving in the direction I felt I deserved (i.e. an apology), I cut it short and told him I had to get back to my boyfriend and friends.
I found out months later that he was actually engaged and conveniently failed to mention it to me.
Of course, I know that it really shouldn’t matter what you look like, how you’re dressed, or what you say when you run into an ex. The relationship is over, and probably for good reason, so what does it matter?
It’s just that satisfaction of knowing you looked good or you were feeling great when someone that hurt you randomly sees you. It’s the coveted slap in the face.
Now, there is a difference between randomly running into your ex and hanging out at their favorite places in hopes of seeing them. That is just crazy.
As cheesy as it sounds, I really do think that things happen for some sort of reason, even if it doesn’t make much sense at the time.
My fear of running into an ex doesn’t keep me indoors, and it certainly doesn’t keep me from my public displays of loungewear and dry shampoo.
Perhaps it’s more about how you react to things that happen. Do you flip out, scream, and overreact or go for the easy-breezy approach?
Me? I’m more of a dance-party in the car type-a-gal. Keep it movin’.
Good morning! If you’re in need of a “Hot Guy” does, I’m your gal. If you’re new to the blog, welcome. The Bitter Lemon has been providing pictures of hot dudes for those in need since 2010.
My latest celeb crush is Nick Jonas. Truth be told, I never aid a bit of attention to this guy (I think Joe was originally my favorite Jonas Brother… he’s the one with the long hair??), until pictures from this photo shoot surfaced.
Can I just say…. DAMN THAT BOY IS FWINE.
Nick started his solo career in the last year, after the Jonas Brothers split in 2012. He’s since release two singles, “Jealous” and “Chains”… which get stuck in my head very easily.
He’s remained in the positive spotlight, for the most part, but check out this little ditty I found on Wiki:
Singer and actress Miley Cyrus has stated that she dated Jonas from June 2006 to December 2007. Cyrus claimed they were “in love” and began dating soon after they first met. The song “Wedding Bells” by the Jonas Brothers was written by Nick. It was rumored that the song was based on his past relationship with Cyrus who, at the time of the song’s release, was engaged to Liam Hemsworth.
He’s currently dating Miss Universe Olivia Culpo, and they seem to be completely in love. Aww.
Meanwhile, I’m obsessed with this song:
I’ve had a crush on this guy, Brian, for more than10 years. He went to my high school, and last year we reconnected.
He lives in Indiana, and we had a date night when I was in town last summer. It was fantastic. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t wonder about the potential of a serious relationship with him.
After our date, we continued to keep in touch. I sent him cards in the mail, we read a book together (and called it “Book Club”), and made plans to meet up again in May.
Around Valentine’s Day, he confessed he wished we were able to celebrate together. Uncharacteristically, he apologized and told me he knew he hadn’t been the nicest person to me, and he appreciated my company.
He even told me that he checked his phone every day to see if I’d texted him. It was very sweet and I was touched.
I asked him if he’d be interested in having a “FaceTime date,” so we could see each other. He said yes.
The day of our date, he said a work friend had come in town and wanted to do dinner. I said we could reschedule. He asked if I was mad, and I said, “Of course not.”
His friend was a guy, but I told him if he’d have ditched me for a girl I might have been a little jealous.
Brian didn’t reply, but I didn’t think much about it.
The next day, about an hour before our FaceTime date, Brian sent me a text saying he didn’t want to talk to me, ever.
“Your text freaked me out,” he said. “We aren’t even dating and yet I will date other women.”
I tried to explain that I was just playing; I never thought or said we were dating; and we were both certainly allowed to date anyone.
But my text went ignored. I had done something so terrible, it didn’t even deserve a response.
Honestly, I get rejected all the time. The time I spend fretting over it is relative to how much I cared.
This time, I crawled into bed when the sun was still out, and I cried.
In the midst of my blubbering, I started to wonder, why are we so quick to cut people out of our lives?
Sure, I pissed Brian off. But was it something bad enough to warrant The Ice Age treatment?
I don’t know why he told me all that sweet stuff and then closed the door on me, only weeks later.
It seems like he was trying to tell me he was dating someone else, but why not just say that?
Because of the way he left things, I’ve got no closure, and only speculation.
A few weeks ago, I went to the midnight premier of the latest Nicholas Sparks’ movie, “The Longest Ride,” and one of the main characters said something to the effect of, how sometimes the people we are closest to can become absolute strangers.
I’ve dated a lot of people that have just fallen off the face of the Earth. And I understand that’s the risk when we get close to people. But it makes me sad.
As I get older, I realize just how little time we have. The days and weeks are flying by and we can’t find it in our hearts to give someone a second chance?
Note: this idea does not apply to any situation that includes abuse, addiction, or infidelity.
I doubt I’ll hear from Brian again, and my closure will just have to be the confirmation that he’s not the one. I need someone who’s willing to forgive.
Alright, I’m going to admit that I’m really bad about this whole “Introducing the significant other to your friends” thing.
In the past, I get really excited when I meet a new guy and we start hanging out (who doesn’t?), and I want him to meet my friends, whom I love so much. I don’t mean for it to be a serious thing, although it is a good idea to see if he fits in with the crowd.
What ends up happening is that it doesn’t work out with the guy, we stop talking, and my friends (or I) never see him again. And I’m left feeling like a big jackass because I just introduced a guy to my friends who ultimately was a blip on my life’s radar.
My friends have assured me that I shouldn’t feel like a jackass — they’ve been single, too, and they know how it goes. I still feel stupid.
In my recent dating adventures, I told myself that I wasn’t going to introduce a guy I’m seeing/talking to anyone, until things are serious — as in, we’re exclusive, and in order for THAT to happen, we have to have been talking for at least three months.
I know, rules. But if I don’t crack the whip, I’m just going to stay single forever, right? I still might 😉
Anyway, I did a little Google searching to see what the interwebs had to say about the matter, and I found a few things.
For starters, YourTango.com suggests that meeting the friends too early can actually put pressure on your FRIENDS, because they feel like they’re pressured to make relationship decisions for you. I’m not sure if this is true, but… they do suggest waiting to introduce a guy until you’ve been on at least three dates (duh) and to keep it casual for the first meeting.
I found some decent advice on April Beyer’s website, which suggested asking yourself WHY you’re introducing your girl/guy to your friends — approval? Locking in the idea that you’re a couple? April suggests waiting until it feels natural, which sounds like a solid idea.
It’s safe to say it’ll be awhile before I introduce a guy to my friends, if I’m ever that lucky. But when I do, I’ll make sure I’m doing it for the right reasons.
Whew, made it to Friday! I feel like every week is a complete roller coaster — it starts one way, and ends up completely different.
On Mondays, I always feel so overwhelmed when I look at my to-do list for the week. I often wake up SUPER early on Mondays and stay up late to get a jump start on the week. By Tuesday, I’m thinking the week will be a complete breeze after everything I accomplished Monday.
And the remainder of the week is spent tying up loose ends… and basically answering a TON of emails. By Friday, I’m just happy to see the weekend; which is something I don’t understand because I’m usually working more on the weekends than I am during the week!
Nonetheless, it is Friday, and I cannot believe I’ve made it through this many Fresh Fridays without mentioning Versace’s Bright Crystal. This is a scent I’ve worn over the years — one that I was surprised I liked so much! But it’s definitely a go-to.
As described by Sephora, “Inspired by a mixture of Donatella Versace’s favorite floral fragrances, Bright Crystal is a fresh, sensual blend of refreshing chilled yuzu and pomegranate mingled with soothing blossoms of peony, magnolia, and lotus flower, warmed with notes of musk and amber.”
No wonder I love it — it’s got musk AND floral notes! Perfection.
What’s everyone doing for the weekend? As usual, follow me on Instagram, Twitter, and SnapChat @OrangeJulius7 to see what me (and Blanche) can stir up until we see you right back here, on Monday!
Although shade no. 7 is a gloss — I just cannot pull myself away. I blame this completely on Bonne Bell, for getting me addicted to shiny, glitter glosses delivered to my lips via sponge applicator.
Girl Next Door by Hard Candy is sheer, with a touch of silvery shimmer. It doesn’t have a scent or a flavor, really, but it is a tiny bit sweet. Mega plus? It’s thick, stays on for awhile, and it’s a lip plumper.
I can never REALLY tell if these things work, but I love the idea of it, regardless. But it did get me wondering how they work? I went to Google for the answer, and there was WebMD to my rescue.
According to WebMD, some over-the-counter lip plumping products contain ingredients that cause blood to flow to the lips, such as cinnamon, ginger mint, or wintergreen. When blood flows to the lips, they appear slightly larger than normal, or “bee stung” for a few hours.
Hey, that sounds pretty good to me!
I like to use Girl Next Door as a “top coat” to some of the other pink lipsticks I’ve mentioned before. It shines up a lipstick, plus adds the plump. Best of both worlds!