“You realize of course that we could never be friends… What I’m saying is — and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form — is that men and women can’t be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.” —Harry, When Harry Met Sally
Harry might have been the first person to make the statement, but it’s the age-old question: can men and women really be friends?
I’ve talked about the (dreaded) Friend Zone on this blog, and really, I do believe that there’s not always a spark when it comes to men and women — because the spark has to happen between both people. But I do think Harry was/is on to something.
If one person in a friendship feels something more, there’s only so long they can sit back and watch the other person date, or be romantic with someone else. Perhaps the question is this: How long can men and women be friends?
When it comes to the Friend Zone, I thought it’d happened to me twice, but the most recent time, actually the guy was seeing someone behind my back, so there’s that option.
But the one time I was placed in the Friend Zone (I’m only sharing this as proof that men do put women in the Friend Zone), it was terrible. I was in high school, and I had the biggest crush on this guy… we did everything best friends did.
But once I came out and told him that I liked him, he started going on dates with lots of different girls, and telling me all about them, even bragging about the sex he had to me one night (he ran outside with the used condom and put it on my car antennae)… why did I even like him?
Years later, he told me that it just wasn’t the right time for us to date. Sure. We still never dated.
The thing is, there are actual benefits from befriending the opposite sex. You can get good opinions and dating advice from them, and it’s always interesting to hear the different perspective.
So, yeah, I do think men and women can be friends —but for how long? — I’m not so sure. And ps. none of this goes for people who are emotionally unavailable.