The Lifetime of a Crush.
Posted by thebitterlemon
You know that feeling you get when you start dating someone new? The stomach flip, the tingles, it seems like the sun is shining all the time; it’s exciting and everything seems right.
That’s how I feel when I’ve got a crush.
This is probably because I don’t know much about those I crush on, but that’s the beauty of it; you can just tell yourself they’re perfect.
A few weeks ago, I developed a decent-sized crush on a guy at my gym (ugh, I hate myself already).
Sure, he’s physically attractive. But I was more interested in the fact that we have similar interests; he has a good sense of humor, and he seemed like a non-douche.
One night, after downing a bottle of wine, I settled in for a round of Tinder swiping.
Not two minutes into my session, whom do I see, but my crush, right there, in front of my face!
In a way, I was a little shocked. I’d never seen anyone I knew on Tinder.
On the other hand, it meant he was single, looking for some type of mingling, and it said he was “active” just 20 minutes prior.
My liquid courage didn’t waver, and I sent him a text message admitting I’d seen him on Tinder.
Like a normal, sober person, he didn’t think it was a big deal and we chatted briefly about the reasons people are on Tinder.
To me, I took this entire conversation to mean that we were in flirtatious territory.
A few nights later, I was out with a slew of people from my gym — it seemed like everyone was there, except him.
So, I sent him a text, and he explained where he was.
“Well, if I’d have known that, I would’ve looked way less cute,” I replied.
My problem isn’t being shy. It’s usually being too forward, which I’m now aware sometimes comes across as being desperate.
He didn’t reply until the following morning, which made me feel like a complete asshole.
When he did reply, he explained that he was hanging out with a girl he’s “been seeing.”
I remembered why it’s called a crush. My stomach dropped and I was embarrassed.
I wished I’d never seen him on Tinder, and I definitely wished I’d never texted him.
My friends told me not to feel stupid, “How were you supposed to know he was seeing someone?”
While true — not to mention the fact that he was on Tinder to begin with — I still felt ridiculous.
I wondered if he really was seeing someone, or if he just said that so I’d leave him alone. Either way, I took his text as a clear message to get away, and fast.
So, I did.
I’ve managed to avoid him at the gym.
I also deleted Tinder, and got the Drizzy App instead.
“You know I pop bottles ‘cause I bottle my emotions.”
Posted on March 18, 2015, in The Ingredients and tagged authors, breakup, college, dating, drinking, ex boyfriends, first date, getting published, heartbreak, Holly A. Phillips, How to Make Lemonade, life, love, relationships, sex, single, The Bitter Lemon, twenty-something. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.