I’ve got a TON on my mind this week, so grab a cup of coffee. For starters, this whole to-do list thing is really working out for me! For some reason (and this has always been the case for me), if it’s on a list, I will not rest until the list is completely checked off. So, I feel like I’ve been able to accomplish a lot in just a week!
As per my New Year’s resolutions, I wanted to do more for me this year, including hitting the gym and/or yoga studio simply for some mental clarity, and I also wanted to read more, and see more movies. So far, I went to the gym three times last week, saw a movie (a few weeks ago, The Gambler, if you’re wondering), and I cannot seem to go ANYWHERE without my iPad because I’m reading the digital version of Donna Tartt’s “The Goldfinch” — and it is GOOD. So good.
One thing I never anticipated I’d have to deal with in 2015 is toxicity among my peers. This could be due to the fact that I’ve never been one to really stand up for myself, but nonetheless, I cannot deal with toxic people. I’ll explain.
Since I lost my job, it seems like some people have no idea what to say to me regarding this fact. And I completely understand that, it was a weird situation. The key word being was. That happened more than two months ago, and while yes, I wanted to share it with you on the blog, it doesn’t mean that I want to talk about it anymore, or at all.
I don’t appreciate getting messages from people saying it’s difficult for them not to see me in the office, that they’re going to counseling because they can’t let go of it, or asking me if I’m going to take legal action, if I need them to buy me essential items since I’m probably broke, or sending me frowning emojis when I tell them no, I haven’t gotten a “real” job yet. These are the same people that refuse to talk to me about anything else in my life.
While I understand that these statements are probably coming from a place of good, it brings up negativity for me. What happened was terrible and it sucked, but there’s nothing I can do about it. I’ve got to focus on the work I DO have, and figure it out from there. And if you really want the truth, spare me the details on how bad it hurts YOU that I lost my job; how do you think it made me feel? And since I don’t have insurance, I had to give up my counselor, so put that in your pipe and smoke it.
What I do know is that when someone is going through difficult times, positivity is always a good idea. Listen when they need to vent. Offer advice when they ask. And tell them that everything is going to be okay — because everything IS going to be okay.
The funny thing is, if these people dared to ask me what’s going on in my life, they’d find that there’s actually a lot of good going on! I was recently promoted at the shoe store, so now I am a key holder and get to lead the sales team. While it’s not my dream job, it feels really good that after working there for just six weeks, my managers have seen my hard work and they know they can count on me.
I’ve never gotten a promotion in my life (okay, maybe one, in college)! I worked at my old job for almost seven years and really never saw much appreciation for what I did, so this feels really nice.
I have also gotten to work on some great freelance projects these last few weeks. I do a lot of web writing and book editing for clients across the country, and I don’t know what’s in the air, but the work has been piling up. And more work = more bills that can be paid. To top it off, I turned in my first article for a very respected publication in the local area, and they loved it, so I’m really excited to make my publication debut this week (I bought myself this adorable purse to celebrate, got it for $40 at Ross).
I realized that I’m doing it — I’m surviving without my old job, my old life. And while that job provided a lot for me, it was also drowning at times. I’m seeing that I can thrive when things are not perfect, and that’s precisely what this blog has been about from day one: turning lemons into lemonade; making any situation yours for the taking.
Aside from these great things that have been happening, it’s also nice that the “normal” things in my former life that I loved are slowly coming back — my gym routine, books, catching up on reality TV, bargain shopping trips, meal planning, at-home manis and pedis, and I’m still getting together with my friend every week for Girl’s Night, to cook and drink bottles of wine.
It’s kind of like the pages of a gossip magazine — Stars, they’re just like us! Look at Holly, she goes to the grocery! She goes to the gym! She has brunch! My life is actually pretty normal; it’s very similar to what it used to be, I just have a slightly different schedule (and my checks come from about 20 different places).
I’m not saying any of this to be rude, or selfish, and I appreciate all of the kind words I’ve received from anyone. I understand that it’s difficult for most people to even think about what it’d be like if something like this happened to them — but always keep it positive. And if you’re in the thick of it, keep your head up, no matter what.
This morning, there’s a calm I can’t explain, the rock candy’s melted, only diamonds now remain.
— John Mayer, Clarity