The shiny sweat, a shortness of breath, muscles tightening… it’s your workout routine, and it’s (apparently) sexy as hell.
Pickup any magazine, ask any fitness professional, and they’re going to tell you that couples who sweat together, stay together.
A lot of things that happen to the body — the aforementioned sweat, short breaths, muscle exposure — during an intense workout also happen during sex (insert gym grunting), and that gets things going.
A couple working out together is also one that faces and accomplishes challenges together. They’re encouraging each other, and because of it, they’re getting an efficient workout while improving their relationship.
Truthfully, when I see couples at the gym or walking the lakes, I think, “Ugh, can’t you do anything by yourself?”
But I know that’s just because I’m single and not having sex.
I’ve never even dated someone who would consider hitting the gym with me. I have however, slept with my trainer(s). It was completely wrong, but incredibly motivating all at once.
Fitness is pretty important to me. I try to maintain a healthy diet, and I aim for three workouts a week. It feels good to sweat, and at the very least, it relieves stress and helps me sleep.
The last guy I dated was anti-fitness, if you can believe that. He insisted on eating fried, greasy foods for every meal, and got mad when I went to the gym.
I tried to maintain my waistline by cooking us healthier options — baked chicken wings instead of fried and buttered — and he refused to admit they were delicious.
It seems small, but it was detrimental to our relationship. He was close-minded, jealous, and unsupportive.
Having a boyfriend to workout with suddenly sounds attractive and efficient. If I take the hours I spend at the gym, and the hours I spend getting ready for and going on dates, then cut that in half by technically dating while working out, I could have more time to… sleep.
In a perfect world, couples who workout together are also having sex together — burning double the calories. This whole plan just gets better and better.
When you think about it, all of this makes biological sense. We were made to reproduce, which is why we’re so attracted to fit bodies — they’ll thrive and make babies — and in return, we’re all turned on by those who workout and get sweaty.
But what does that mean for the singletons? Don’t succumb to the bon-bons, get a workout partner. A lot of my friends go to the gym; we encourage each other and we chat between sets. It’s efficient, but more importantly, it makes the workout fun.
The thing to avoid, as I’ve learned, is dating someone at the gym (doesn’t mean I don’t look). If things go awry, then your entire workout is ruined. It’s not a good combination.
So, grab your protein shake and meet me at the gym. I’ll be the sweaty singleton on the thigh machine.
The Bitter Lemon 