Exes: Married With Children.
Posted by thebitterlemon
Sometime last week, I wandered over to my ex-boyfriend’s Facebook page. It’s something I do when I’m feeling rather low about myself, even though looking at his page usually makes me feel worse. Call me a masochist.
Right away, I saw what I figured would be there: his profile picture was a tiny baby. His baby.
Because that is what people do; they get married, and within two years of being married, they have a kid.
When I found out my ex was getting married two years ago, I also found out via Facebook. I was stunned, to say the least, because we’d just broken up a year before.
It was a shitty way to confirm he was cheating on me for the greater part of our four-year relationship.
When I confronted him about it, he lied of course, saying their relationship just moved very quickly.
Finding out an ex is getting married is different for everyone; the reaction is probably relevant to how things ended.
Almost all of my exes are married, and as pathetic as it sounds, my heart broke a little when I found out about each one getting engaged.
I don’t believe any of my exes were “meant” for me, I think it’s more of admitting to myself that they found some sort of happiness with another person that I’ve yet to discover.
But I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t terrified that maybe I’ll never find that level of love, commitment, and happiness with someone.
This particular ex isn’t the only one of my exes to have a child. I think the nature of our relationship is what makes it sting a little, even years later.
We met in college; we were both bartenders at a place under the overpass. Our relationship was fun-loving from the start. It didn’t take long for me to sleep with him, and because of that, I fell for him very quickly.
Although he told me he loved me, his actions showed me that we weren’t on the same level. I loved him more than I’d ever felt for anyone else. And that’s still true today. Enter: the bitterness.
He always told me marriage wasn’t “for him,” and he never talked about wanting children. Those are things I wanted, and to see him married, with a child… it feels like everyone around me has moved on and up, while I’m still here. And still single.
As a singleton, I constantly have to remind myself that just because someone is married, doesn’t mean they’re in a perfect relationship. And just because I’m single, doesn’t mean I’ll never find someone.
Perhaps seeing an ex move on is just a refreshing sign that people can change. Or maybe it just proves that he/she is great at living one giant lie after the next. Now, who wants to hit up happy hour?
Posted on April 15, 2015, in The Ingredients and tagged authors, baby, breakup, college, college life, dating, ex boyfriends, family, first date, getting published, heartbreak, Holly A. Phillips, How to Make Lemonade, life, newborn, relationships, single, The Bitter Lemon, wedding, writing, young love. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.