As a singleton still in the dating game, I am constantly given unsolicited advice from couples. What I often gather is that couples seem to think dating is just SO fun! Newsflash: it ain’t. Actually, most of the time, it’s pretty annoying.
So, I’ve put together a list of MY dating pet peeves (some of them annoy me so much, they’re deal breakers), but I’d love to hear yours, too — don’t be afraid to leave them in the comments.
- Being late. This is one of my BIGGEST pet peeves. Being late isn’t just about the fact that I’m either waiting on a guy I hardly know or sitting at a bar alone, it’s more about the fact that it’s completely disrespectful of my time. Instead of waiting on a man, I could be making bank getting some writing done, or at least watching The Bachelor.
- Bad kiss. Here’s a deal breaker. When I was 16, I could forgive a less-than-perfect kiss. But now that I’m approaching 30, you should have kissed enough people to nail the whole breathing-sucking-timing thing. If the kiss is bad, then I immediately know the sex is going to be bad, and if I don’t have a desire to sleep with you, then I don’t even know why we’re on a date.
- Bad breath. This goes hand-in-hand with a bad kiss. If I smell your disgusting breath when we are talking, then there DEFINITELY won’t be any kissing. And if we’re not kissing, then, well, read #2 again to see what that means.
- Big ego. If you’re ego can’t fit through the restaurant door, then we’ve got issues. I like dudes who work hard, and stay humble. Unless you’re Justin Bieber, then let’s get to the kissing.
- Gets hammered. All the time. Don’t get me wrong, I love to have a drink (or three), but since I dated an alcoholic, I’m very weary of how much and how often a guy I’m talking to is getting drunk. It’s nothing personal, I just don’t want to be in that situation, ever. Ever.
- Ignores manners and etiquette. Listen, I cuss, I drink, and I write about sex I’ve had. But I still appreciate having the door opened for me, being in the company of a man who treats the waitstaff with respect, and who knows that cellphones do not belong on our date at any time.
- Aggressive about sex. I like sex, but I need to be ready for it before I start hearing about it. Don’t hint at or suggest that we have sex, or “go somewhere private” on the first date. Because I’ll never talk to you again.
- No ambition. It’s okay if you’re not into your dream job — Lord knows I’m not. But have some goals on the horizon, or else what’s the point? If you’re living in your parent’s house with no plan to get out, then let’s get the check and consider this date a bust.
- Too serious. I have a serious side, but I also like to joke around. If my date can’t, then we’ve got big problems. Laugh a little!
- Close-minded. This also includes: being a racist, sexist, or any “ist” that is negative. Basically, if you’re a republican, then we shouldn’t be dating.