Last week may have been everyone’s first week back to work, but it was also a week FULL of TV show premiers, and I’m in heaven. Seriously, every single night there was a new show or a new season starting, and this is what I’m dubbing the most wonderful time of the year… So yeah, I’m OD-ing on the extra-trashy, and I don’t give a damn. If you’re with me, read on my friends.
“The Bachelor”, season 22 (ABC) – Reality Drama
Did you choke when you read “season 22”? I did. This is a terrible show, but we all keep watching. I’ll be honest, I couldn’t NOT watch when I found out the bachelor would be Arie Luyendyk Jr., 36, after his dramatic place in Emily Maynard’s season (which I rewatched during Christmas break, because obviously). The show premiered last week, but you haven’t missed much if you’re tuning in tonight – you can also watch full episodes on ABC.com. Airs Mondays at 8/7pm C.
“My Big Fat Fabulous Life”, season 5 (TLC) – Reality Drama
Season 5 picks up right where season 4 left off: With Whitney heading on tour with the Fitness Marshall. But the preview for season 5 makes it look like a lot has changed for Whitney, including a new man, and possibly a wedding? The show premiered last week, but there’s still plenty of time to uncover this mystery! Airs Tuesdays at 8/7pm C.
“The Challenge”, season 31: Vendettas (MTV) – Reality Competition
Yes, season 31! I have never been much of a fan of “The Challenge” – I was more of a”Road Rules” person, but I watched last season, “Champs vs. Stars” and it was good enough to keep me interested. “Vendettas” brings together people that hate each other and the interesting twist is that its contestants from any reality show, including “Big Brother”, “Ex on the Beach”, and “Geordie Shore”. It’s every player for themselves, and as we all know, there will be new vendettas created as the season continues. Airs Tuesdays at 9/8pm C.
“Catfish: The TV Show”, season 7 (MTV) – Reality Drama
Yep, “Catfish” is baaaack! People are never going to stop catfishing each other and I hope this show is always around to bust the suckers. It’s another season with Nev and Max out to discover the real person behind the computer screen, and even just one episode in, it’s obvious this season is going to have some unexpected twists. Airs Wednesdays at 10/9pm C.
“Project Runway All Stars”, season 6 (Lifetime) – Reality Competition
I’ll admit it, “All Stars” isn’t necessarily my favorite form of “Project Runway” (not a fan of the hostess and judges), but it’s still a fantastic competition and I love seeing the contestants from former seasons back in action. This season has some of the BEST competitors, including Joshua McKinley, Kelly Dempsey, and Fabio Costa. It’s “Rookies” (those who are first-timers on “All Stars”) versus “Veterans” (those who’ve competed on “All Stars”) this year and I can already see lots of drama coming. Airs Thursdays at 9/8pm C.
“Revenge Body With Khloe Kardashian”, season 2 (E!) – Reality Drama
Everyone knows Khloe is the best Kardashian, right? I absolutely loved season 1 of this show, as you get to see people transform their lives, and tbh, Khloe isn’t really on the show that much. It follows participants as they try to lose weight, get fit, and gain confidence. Most of the time, they’re going through a breakup or hard times, and the journey helps them, mentally. I love it! Airs Sundays at 10/9pm C.
“Siesta Key”, season 2 (MTV) – Reality Drama
Ugh, the little rich bastards are baaaack! I’m actually shocked that a second season was ordered here, but I’m here for it. That means more drama with Alex and his “friends” – everyone is returning from season 1, plus a new additions: Canvas, Tarik, Hannah, and Paige. Whew! Premiers Monday, January 15 at 10/9pm C.
“Summer House”, season 2 (Bravo) – Reality Drama
I have been ready for season 2 since the second season 1 ended. I freaking LOVE this show! It feels like an insider’s look into the Hamptons, and that’s what I need. The gang from last summer is all here, but there’s a few new houseguests in the mix, and that brings a whole load of new drama. I cannot. freaking. waaaaait. Premiers Monday, January 22 at 10/9pm C.
The Winter Olympic Games, PyeongChang (NBC) – Sports
After the weekend drama in the women’s ice skating competition, we already know there’s going to be some REAL life craziness in the Olympic games. Plus, I really enjoy watching the opening ceremonies. The opening ceremony will be aired Friday, February 9 (likely at 8pm) on NBC.
“Music City”, season 1 (CMT) – Reality Drama
The chances are likely that I’m going to spend my life looking for a replacement for “The Hills”. That’s why I got sucked into “Siesta Key” and although it didn’t completely fill the void, it helped. But now, there’s another chance… and that is: “Music City”, created by Adam DiVello (same guy who created “The Hills”) and it’s premiering in March on CMT. This show looks so good! It follows a group of people looking to make it in country music in Nashville (but of course). I’m all for it. The show premiers on Thursday, March 1 at 10/9pm C.
…If you didn’t think I was a TV junkie before, now you know! What shows are you looking forward to these next few months? My DVR has room…
I know I’m probably one of ten people still watching reruns of “Jersey Shore”… so, when MTV announced an answer to our prayers for new material, I was pretty excited! That answer is none other than “Floribama Shore”.
“Floribama Shore” is supposed to be similar to “Jersey Shore” in that cast members are filling up a single house in Panama City Beach, Florida, but are locals from the Floribama Coast.
Having been to Floribama a handful of times, I can testify that its known for its uncanny ability to embrace the tacky side of Americana, while also celebrating the fruits of summer and beach life in the form of denim cutoffs, cold bear at any hour, and bare feet at all times.
And so, MTV has rounded up a cast of locals to celebrate this portion of the country and likely, humiliate them and everyone they know for our complete enjoyment. Here’s how MTV describes the show:
Set in the Florida Panhandle along the beach that stretches all the way to Alabama, Floribama Shore is the story of eight young adults who come to spend the summer in the hottest beach town on the Gulf Coast, Panama City Beach, to party it up and put the real world on hold for just a little bit longer. But each is armed with incredible life experiences and standing at a crossroads, whether it’s ending a relationship, tasting independence for the first time, or trying to escape the past.This coming of age story captures the very real thrill and angst of being young and trying to figure out the future with a group of people you’ll come to call family.
So, the cast!
There’s Aimee, who might be my favorite so far. She’s from Alabama, admits to always going barefoot and never getting a pedicure, and she is NOT going to play games. She’s a spitfire and I’d imagine we’ll see a fight with her at some point this season.
There’s Candace, who, so far, is pretty quiet. She seems to be the old soul of the bunch, but I’m not counting her out of any shenanigans just yet. Next is Codi, who has been quiet so far… And then there’s Gus, who is pret-ty full of himself, and I don’t think he’s ever been rejected. This is already causing drama in the house.
Okay… Jeremiah. He’s the pretty boy, and although a few of the ladies love his looks, his attitude is not attractive. I’m not a fan of him as a person, but his douche-baggery is much-needed for a show like this.
Kirk has yet to say much, so we’ll see what happens with him. But finally, there’s Kortni and Nilsa, who are friends and both Panama City Beach locals. Kortni fires off episode one by pissing the bed, and Nilsa is a flirtacious force to be reckoned with!
So far, there’s been two episodes of the show, which airs Mondays at 10/9 central (although they aired one episode on Sunday night…).
It’s good stuff, y’all!
Hey hey! Don’t you just love 3-day weekends? Sure, it’s a little shitty that we have to be back at work today, but it’s already TUESDAY?! Although, I feel like tomorrow I’ll think it’s Thursday and just be really disappointed overall.
But alas, another episode of “Siesta Key” is upon us, and the gang is headed to the Bahamas!
Kelsey is headed with the group to the Bahamas, but without Garrett since they’re on a break. The group is staying in a giant house together, so this will be interesting…
Juliette is among the group as well, and she’s getting used to seeing Kelsey sidling right up to Alex. Chloe is sharing a room with Juliette and is quick to tell her that Kelsey and Alex hooked up after his gala.
In fact, she says, Amanda was looking for her phone after the party and knocked on Alex’s closed bedroom door. Supposedly, he answered the door butt-naked, and when Amanda peeked into the room, Kelsey was in the bed naked, as well.
Here we goooooo.
At dinner, Juliette is back to her dumbass ways and says she doesn’t know how to eat edamame. Lord have mercy on this child.
Pauly Paul must be fresh off a line of the good stuff because he’s asking Kelsey what’s up with her and Garrett? Who ended it? Why did it end? Who are you going to hook up with while you’re here?
Later, he’s having a heart-to-heart with Juliette and he tells her Kelsey and Alex definitely like each other… Juliette is all, “Really? What do I do?”
Meanwhile, Brandon and Madisson are getting a COUPLE’S massage (!) and Brandon is like moaning through the entire thing, and says, “This is better than sex.” Come on, bro.
Chloe and Kelsey are at the spa and Chloe asks her what’s up with her and Alex. Kelsey admits they have a fun chemistry, but that’s all it will ever be. When Chloe confronts her about what happened after the gala, Kelsey says nothing happened… but no one is believing that.
But later… Alex asks Kelsey to go to dinner “as friends”… really?
At the dock, Amanda confronts Kelsey about what happened after the gala. Amanda straight up calls her a liar, and Kelsey says she did go into his room to change into dry clothes. But nothing happened. Srsly?
Alex takes Kelsey out to dinner and he tells everyone he’s taking her out because she’s the new girl. During dinner, they reiterate how they are just friends… but Kelsey calls bullshit on his relationship with with Juliette.
While everyone else is eating dinner, they are ALL talking about Kelsey and Alex. Madisson swears they are just friends but everyone else is all NO, NOPE…
After dinner, Kelsey has a drinking game for her and Alex, and immediately he ends up with his shirt off. Eventually, the whole group joins in… and the next morning, Juliette is in Alex’s bed with him. Now what?
As the gang is packing up, Kelsey says she’s ready to go home but she’s afraid she might have blown it with Garrett. GURL.
Now I cannot wait to see what he says… next week!
Hey, hey! Trump is on his way to Texas and this state is flipping him the bird – the memes on Twitter are worth a look if you need a laugh. Anyway, I won’t get into politics… let’s get into last night’s episode of “Siesta Key”!
The episode picks up right where last week left off, Garrett has ditched Kelsey at the 20’s party, so she jumps into the pool with Alex and Madisson and Brandon. Later, she follows Alex into the house… and the production makes it look like something happened.
At Garrett’s house, he’s telling his brother what happened the night before. Meanwhile, Alex heads to the beach with Chloe, Amanda, Brandon, Pauly Paul, Madisson, and Kelsey… and Garrett shows up! Whoooooo!
Amanda and Chloe take a stroll on the beach, and Chloe tells Amanda she’s disappointed in her for hooking up with Alex, and for the dismissive way she acted at the party last night.
Later, Brandon asks Madisson on a date.. and I’ll admit, it’s kinda cute!
Juliette is at home sipping water by the pool, and she’s talking to her friend Hannah like, “I’m not going to act like he didn’t hook up with Amanda.” And Hannah just keeps saying, “Yeah… yeah… yeah.”
Kelsey and Garrett have a lil walk on the beach and it really just seems like things aren’t working out. Kelsey apologizes for the way the night went down and Garrett apologizes for leaving the party. He says they’ll talk about it the next day.
Later, Alex suggests the gang go to Bimini, and everyone agrees even though Pauly Paul has a court date for getting caught with weed.
Brandon takes Madisson on their date and they order some tropical blended drinks… and he’s all charming and it’s sweet. And they KISSSSSSSS!!!
Garrett and Kelsey talk the next day and he tells her he’s not going to the Bahamas. She admits she was flirting with Alex after the party, and Garrett suggests they go on a break. OUCH.
Madisson is heading to visit her mom, and she mentioned to her sister that visiting her mom makes her nervous. Madisson tells her mom that her dad is hosting a graduation dinner and she should come – her mom declines.
At Madisson’s dinner, everyone is so dressed up and Madisson’s dad is grilling Brandon, but he’s taking it well. Alex’s mom makes an awkward comment about how Madisson used to “tutor” Alex and shit, does Brandon give The Glare to Alex.
The next day, the entire gang gets together to go on Alex’s boat. Even Kelsey joins…without Garrett. Everyone asks where he is and she says they’re on a break. Alex looks happy to hear this and everyone is NOT surprised.
Juliette is “shocked” to see Brandon and Madisson together, and is all “Who else hooked up after the party?” And just then… Alex and Kelsey are in the water together… Yikes.
And the SAGA continues!! We’ll see what happens next week!
In anticipation of what MTV is calling “Laguna Beach 2.0”, the network aired old episodes of “Laguna Beach” and “The Hills” all weekend and I was in heaven! They were also promoting the shit out of “Siesta Key”, and it worked – I was real pumped to see this episode.
That is until I saw the “Siesta Key” watch party had been cancelled after public outrage due to one of the cast members being involved in a “shark dragging” incident that killed a shark. Umm, what? Here’s the report from the Herald Tribune:
Reaction to the show from local residents led to the creation of a “Boycott Siesta Key MTV” Facebook page that pointed to an apparent connection between cast members and a man who allegedly dragged a shark to death behind his boat.
Well that’s just great. Here’s another little nugget of information for you (also from the Herald Tribune):
The show’s main cast member is Alex Kompothecras, son of Gary Kompothecras, the chiropractor best-known in these parts for founding the 1-800-ASK-GARY legal and medical referral service. “Siesta Key” originated from a pilot financed by Kompothecras.
So, that’s why we’ve seen all the previews of Alex’s family home, which is huge and covered in enough gold to rival President Trump. After doing a little more digging, it appears there was the video of the shark dragging, along with some pictures on social media of men (covered in blood) that are allegedly friends with some of the “Siesta Key” cast. The video and photos are currently under investigation.
The premier episode still rolls on and I’m still reviewing it as planned. Obviously, I do not condone killing innocent animals, especially in a way of suffering. Hopefully, the investigation will result in those men being punished appropriately (i.e. being dragged behind a boat).
Anyway, the show must go on!
The episode starts by introducing every cast mate: Alex – the “king of the crew” – who I’m guessing is also going to be a shithead. He’s dating Juliette. Chloe is the bitch. And SHE has a crush on Brandon. Kelsey is the new girl in town, and is dating Garrett – who isn’t a part of THE CLIQUE.
Aparently Alex cheated on Juliette last summer with Madison – his ex. Lordy.
What continues is some slo-mo cheesy shit.
Alex and Juliette are on a date… and he’s an idiot. He’s about to turn 22, has graduated, so this is his self-proclaimed “big one”.
And Juliette wore stilettos to the boardwalk, so she’s one of those chicks. Ugh.
Madison flies into town, and everyone is warning him that she thinks it will be back to business as usual.
The ladiessss are all gathered somewhere, and they’re all O M G Juliette went on a date with Juliette. These chicks are basic AF and it’s on an entirely new level.
Madison shows up at Alex’s and he greets her with a bottle of Veuve and 2 flutes. They sit on the beach and catch up… and Alex is all, “I heard everything’s bigger in Texas.”
She asks him if he has a girlfriend and he’s all, “Nope” – even after he JUST told Juliette he was cool being with just her.
Kelsey and Chloe “work” at a bar – it’s pretend work – we all knew “Laguna Beach” and “The Hills” were scripted and MTV is not even playing with this one. It’s fake as hell. Kelsey says she met her boyfriend Garrett on Tinder, which I’m sure is also a lie.
We can also just get this out of the way: Alex is ugly. Like come ON MTV, you gave us Stephen Coletti, can you give us a better lead character than Alex the freaking Ogre?
Alex and Brandon come to the bar, and Alex is all eyeing Kelsey up and down. He invites her to his birthday party and ta-da, she’s free. Because why would a bartender be free on a Saturday?
Everyone is just SEW excited for Alex’s birthday party, because WHAT girl is he going to choose to be all over him?
Later, Kelsey is getting ready for the party, and she’s talking about her and Garrett like they’ve been together for two YEARS instead of two weeks. Weird.
But then she walks into that fucking party like a BOSS BITCH and everyone stares because there’s finally someone hot with a personality.
This makes Juliette super nervous and she drunkenly bites Alex’s face and is all OMG ITS SOOOO NICE TO MEET YOU. I’m over her already.
Juliette appraoches Madison and it’s like so much teeth in one scene… “Would you like, let me know if he hits on you, that’d be like, cool.”
Later, Alex literally tosses Juliette over his shoulder and heads to the bedroom. And Madison runs and cries on the beach like a punk ass.
At the end of the episode, it shows pictures of Chloe with her face bashed in and bloody, so we’ll get that conclusion next week.
Honestly, this is a failure. This show is pretty bad, and it’s definitely NOT even close to “Laguna Beach” or “The Hills”. Watching Twitter during it was my only saving grace…
I sort of hate myself for promoting sitting inside all summer and catching up on TV, but it’s been a solid 106 degrees here in Austin, and even the coolest pool isn’t going to get me outside for much longer than i have to be. So, yeah, I’m watching TV this summer – especially the junky stuff – and I’m not ashamed! Who’s with me?!
“Insecure”, season 2 (HBO) – Comedy
I was completely blown away by season one of “Insecure”, and have been fangirling over lead actress and writer, Issa Rae, ever since. Here’s the scoop from HBO.com:
Modern-day black women are usually portrayed as strong, confident and “flawless.” But Issa and Molly are definitely not “killing it.” These best friends must deal with their own real-life flaws as they attempt to navigate different worlds and cope with an endless series of uncomfortable everyday experiences.
Created by Issa Rae and Larry Wilmore, the comedy series Insecure explores the black female experience. Rae stars as Issa and Yvonne Orji stars as Molly. Over the course of the season, Issa attempts to figure out what she wants out of life and how to take control of it, while fumbling her way through this journey. Molly, a corporate attorney who appears to have everything together professionally, struggles inside as she looks for external ways to fix her life.
Meanwhile, Issa’s boyfriend, Lawrence (Jay Ellis), who has fallen victim to complacency, works to get his own act together. Frieda (Lisa Joyce), Issa’s overeager white co-worker, whose enthusiasm is both annoying and endearing, is at the crux of Issa’s racial frustrations at work.
I. AM. SO. EXCITED. Plus! With a new season of “Insecure” comes a new batch of the “Insecuritea” after show podcast – yes!
Premiers Sunday, July 23 @ 10:30 pm EST.
“A Night With My Ex” (Bravo) – Reality
Basically, this show had me with the title. I mean, there’s not an ex I would want to spend a night with, so you’ve already got me curious. Here’s the scoop from TVguide.com:
The 10-episode season follows 11 former couples who agree to spend one night alone in an apartment together — no producers, only cameras rigged to catch their every move. Seeing each other for the first time since their breakup will bring up unexpected reactions in the exes, including shocking confessions, crazy fights, intense hook-ups and some wild twists we thought only existed in Shondaland. There are even marriage proposals and a pregnancy reveal!
And unlike in the real world, the exes have nowhere to hide once they enter the one-bedroom apartment. Whatever goes down, the former couple will be forced to deal with their unresolved issues without any interruptions, distractions or, of course, any privacy.
Tuesdays @ 10 pm EST.
“I Hart Food” (Food Network) – American Food
I’m pretty excited for this show after seeing Hannah Hart on her YouTube show, “My Drunk Kitchen”. Now she’s got her own series! Here’s the description from the Food Network Blog:
Hannah Hart has over five-million followers on social media, a killer sense of humor, a passion for food and this summer, she’s taking a flavor-filled journey to some of the country’s favorite regional food spots in the new Food Network series I Hart Food. In the six-episode series, food enthusiast Hannah follows her appetite to discover incredible local dishes and awesome conversations. From investigating Santa Fe’s fiery fixation with green and red chilies to catching New England lobsters with her bare hands in Portland, Maine, Hannah’s food adventures explore every angle of these local specialties and the stories behind them.
Premiers Monday, August 14 @ 10 pm EST.
“Phelps vs. Shark” (Discovery) – Competition
Yep, you read that correctly. Swimmer Michael Phelps is racing a great white shark to kick off “Shark Week”, and I cannot help but watch. They’re pegging it as “The battle for ocean supremacy”, because obviously that’s a thing. I was picturing it as a literal race in the ocean, but then I realized how stupid a thought that was, given that a shark doesn’t know how to race. Right? Whatever. I’m still watching it.
Airs Sunday, July 23 @ 8 pm EST.
“Shahs of Sunset”, season 6 (Bravo) – Reality
This has got to be one of my favorite Bravo shows and I’m so happy it’s back! Asa is pregnant, which means MJ is throwing her all KINDS of shade. Mike is living single, while GG is supposedly healed, and Reza is happily married. It’s sure to be a solid season with this group!
Sundays @ 8 pm EST.
“Million Dollar Matchmaker”, season 2 (WETV) – Dating
You may remember matchmaker Patti Stanger from her 8 seasons on Bravo as the “Millionaire Matchmaker”. She moved to WETV, but is still serving up the same fierce attitude, along with brilliant matchmaking. Here’s the scoop from Deadline.com:
The series, featuring matchmaker Patti Stanger as she helps her toughest clients find true love, reached 12.4 million total viewers in its first season. In season two, Stanger takes over the west wing of the exclusive Luxe Hotel in Los Angeles. Each week, two of her hardest-to-match clients will check in for a week-long stay, hoping to leave with the love of their life.
“Patti’s no-nonsense approach to love and dating struck a chord with WE tv viewers, and we can’t wait to have her back on Friday nights in an all-new location with new millionaires, using her brand of tough love to help her clients find true love,” said Marc Juris, president of WE tv. “In the world of love and relationships, there simply is no equal to Patti Stanger, and we are thrilled to have her as part of the WE tv family.”
Premiers Friday, August 4 @ 10 pm EST.
“Flipping Out”, season 10 (Bravo) – Reality
I hate to love Jeff Lewis, but come on! Plus, let’s face facts, Zoila is my favorite person on this show. I can’t believe we’re going into season 10, which means I’ve spent 1/3 of my life watching this show… Here’s the description from BravoTV.com:
Yes, things are just as cray cray for Jeff Lewis and his Flipping Out crew when the series returns this August. Life looks a little different for the designer on Season 10. In addition to making homes beautiful and some employee drama, he’s about to become a father — and impending parenthood is way more stressful than he and partner, Gage Edward, could ever have imagined.
Premiers Thursday, August 17 @ 9 pm EST.
“Life of Kylie” (E!) – Reality
I stopped watching “The Kardashians” two years ago – not for any moral reasons, I was just sort of over it – but I cannot turn away from this new little branch of show. I know. I’m terrible. Here’s the gist of it, from Deadline.com:
The eight-episode half-hour show will follow Jenner as she navigates her life as entrepreneur, fashion designer, author, social media star and CEO/founder of Kylie Cosmetics. The show also will document her personal life, including spending time with her close friend Jordyn Woods.
Premiers Sunday, August 6 @ 9 pm EST.
“Siesta Key” (MTV) – Reality, Drama
If “Scripted drama” were a thing, I’d call this that, because it’s been advertised as a show for people who liked “The Hills”. I did not like “The Hills”…I fucking LOVED “The Hills”. So, “Siesta Key” has big shoes to fill, okay!? Here’s the scoop from Variety.com:
“Siesta Key” follows a group of seven longtime friends in the Sarasota, Fla., area as they graduate from high school and through their reunion back home in the summer following freshman year in college. This time around, the storytelling in “Key” aims to dive deeper into the emotional lives of the key players rather than the frothier approach of past MTV serials. “Key” and other shows on MTV’s summer slate are laser-focused on reflecting the way teens and twentysomethings live today. That means the cameras capture how much of those lives play out on social media.
Premiers Monday, July 31 @ 10 pm EST.
You guys… or should I say y’all? I have been looking forward to the “Southern Charm” reunion since the season started – because the reunions are the best part, right? Right from the jump, Bravo gave us a few clips that just look insane, but of course I’m sure they will be spread over two, if not three parts of a reunion.
The first few moments of the reunion are, of course, introductions, and we confirm that Cameron is pregnant – which I already saw in actual news, but still. We also find out that Craig has PASSED the bar exam! What?!
They started to scratch the surface on Craig and Naomi before the first break, and Shep basically said, “Well if your significant other can’t call you out, who can?”
After the break, Naomi is on the couch! She expanded upon being complicit with Craig’s lies last season. She said she didn’t regret showing the world that they fight, and also didn’t regret apologizing to Craig.
This rolled over into Kathryn and Thomas’ relationship, and a quick back-and-forth between Landon and Kathryn. And at about this time, I realize Whitney either isn’t on the couch or he just hasn’t said shit yet.
Austen was on the hot seat next and admitted he’s no longer working in the beer business. He also talked about his story about his sister and said that fans of the show were very comforting him when he told it.
They also talked about his relationship with Chelsea (she’s also not on the couch), and this rolled over into talking about Shep’s alcohol issues. He said when he lived downtown, he would have 60 people over at his house each night by 3 am, and around 20 people at the house at 6am. Uh, seriously??
Kathryn is up next, starting with her checking into rehab shortly after last season’s reunion. Andy asked Landon why she said Kathryn went to rehab to “find her next victim” (LOLz), and Landon said there were pics posted on Instagram of Kathryn with a guy in Malibu with a Maserati. Ha!
She then says that the rehab was from weed, not cocaine and alcohol, like all the reports said. Weird. Sadly, though, she said she doesn’t have a very big support system.
And then Landon starts crying (dear God).
And THEN Kathryn says Jennifer lied under oath… COMMERCIAL.
Jennifer is on the couch upon return (!), and has a positive update on her son. Then Andy starts in on what happened last reunion, with that damn handkerchief. When Andy asked about Jennifer’s testimony, she pipes up, “I’m not under your gag order”. YAS GIRL. YAS!!!!!
Kathryn then continues to say actually there are questions about Jennifer’s baby daddy. W T actual F????
This builds and tumbles into a conversation about how one night, and YEAR ago, Thomas slept on Jennifer’s couch after a night of partying. Kathryn says no, he was in her bed, and shit blowwwwwws up – saying, “If you keep on, the judge knows everything…”
He is shaking and basically says, I signed an order to keep the truth quiet, but if you keep on, I promise you, it will not be pretty.
And then the episode is over, and we have to wait until part II next week! Arrgggghhh!
I was actually looking forward to last night’s episode of “So Cosmo” – not that I haven’t enjoyed previous episodes, but at times, I just wonder where this is all going. However, I was feeling really curious about this “Fun Fearless Money” event.
And why? Well, for one thing, it was held on a Saturday and, as I mentioned last week, the higher-ups at Cosmo were all, “Thanks for giving up your Saturdaaaay”, and it got me thinking about something: these people are so glamorous, do you think they really ever spend their Saturdays just laying in bed, eating Oreos in their pajamas, and binge-watching Bravo? Cause I can’t picture it.
Anyway, let’s get into the episode!
Diondra runs into Steven at the end of the day, and despite the fact that they talked last episode, he is still sooooo cold to her. She makes a comment to him about them being friends, and he’s all “no, we’re coworkers”. DAMN.
When Diondra explains this entire situation to Amy, she’s like, “What is this, the ‘Devil Wears Prada’?!” We had to know that reference was coming, no?
Meanwhile, Tiffany goes to a fashion show in Milan that’s titled “Alice in Ghettoland” – she feels guilty being there, because of the controversial title. Although the show is awesome (Fergie and Paris Hilton were on the runway), afterward the Twitterverse is blowing up over the title of the show and how offensive it is, putting Tiffany in a sticky situation.
James is in Milan, too, and has to leave early to get to the “Fun Fearless Money” event, as he will be paired with Tyra Banks for the day.
James also notices that Steven has been really stressed and he suggests a “girls’ trip”. Steven agrees and they decide to go to a spa after “Fun Fearless Money”.
FINALLY, it’s time for the big day, the day that Joanna Coles refers to as “Cosmoltan” because it’s like Cosmo’s “Hamilton”.
How about no?
Despite all of the work the staff has put in, the event is set to start in 15 minutes and there’s a slew of empty seats. And, just in case you were wondering, the Cosmo staff is wearing shirts that say “FEARLE$$”.
At the last minute, the seats are full, and Diondra is happy.
Matthew Hussy takes the stage and Diondra asks him some questions, including how to handle a workplace romance. Evan is in the audience and he takes note of this question. Meanwhile, Matthew’s answer is basically, don’t shit where you eat.
Dionda also makes a sly little comment about how maybe she needs a promotion and Steven gives her complete side-eye, right from the audience.
Later, the boys head to the spa weekend, where they’re sharing a room under the condition they have separate beds and full-coverage pajamas.
Back at the office, Joanna wants to talk to Tiffany about her trip and the fashion shows. Tiffany tells her that she felt uncomfortable about the fashion show, and she also felt conflicted, being that she’s black but also very into fashion and artistry.
Diondra stops by Joanna’s office (where we discover she has a treadmill desk) to tell her about the conflict with Steven. She doesn’t name that it was Steven, but instead she just wants to know how Joanna would handle the situation. Interesting approach. Joanna basically says to keep it professional, and to try and avoid conflict.
I also realized I’ve been spelling her name wrong this entire time: it’s Diandra, not Diondra. Apologies.
The boys head back from their trip, and they’re really quiet, because they totally hooked up on their last night after getting a little tipsy. James doesn’t know what to do, especially since they work together. Yikes.
When Leah asks Steven about it the next day, he denies it completely. Even when James comes in the office, Steven is just nonchalant about it, and says nothing happened.
And then James admits he’s lying just to be funny. Oookkaaayy.
They do agree they’d be a good couple despite not having any feelings for each other – they decide to get together if they are still 78 and single.
The staff has a little happy hour to celebrate the success of “Fun Fearless Money”, and Steven raises his glass to Diandra, and apologizes to her in front of everyone. Nicely done.
At the end of the episode, there was a preview for what’s still to come on this season – lest we forget the fact that Evan is about to hookup with Tiffany AND Diandra, and we still have the new editor coming in. Wow. I know I’ll be watching!
It’s been a minute since I was THIS excited for a TV show to start, and yet not only do we have a season of “So Cosmo” to look forward to, but also the last season of “Girls” premiers this weekend, and “Big Little Lies” isn’t too far behind.
But anyway, let’s get right on into this premier of “So Cosmo”!
We are greeted by the lovely accent of Cosmo’s Editor-in-Chief Joanna Coles. She explains to us minion that Cosmo is the top-selling magazine, #1 on SnapChat, the first to all the fashion shows, blah, blah, I mean, what about Vogue? Anyone?
Joanna is walking into the office and it’s very “Devil Wears Prada” as the walls are all glass, and her assistant is waiting for her with a copy of all the papers and ready to fetch coffee. Oh dear.
The editorial meeting is next where they pitch the HARD-HITTING news of manicures that are inspired by cocktails!
Later, Joanna meets with the Chief of Staff to talk about a “big announcement” that will be made to the staff and she’s unsure how everyone is going to take it.
And then we shoot back to one week earlier (I hate it when TV shows do this). There’s already some shade between Diondra (Branding) and Steve (Booking). Steve is confused as to what Diondra’s job is – although she’s verrrry close to Joana. Shade, y’all.
Most of the staff is gearing up to shoot an “edgy” cover featuring Ruby Rose. Tiffany, senior fashion editor, is your typical #BossLady. She knows her shit and she’s got it together – all the way down to the organization of the fashion closet.
The team is looking for a new fitness contributor, so basically everyone gets to work out with the final two hot dudes to pick the winner. AWESOME.
Meanwhile, one of the potential fitness contributors, Evan, texts Diondra asking her to dinner. Uh, what? She goes!!! Sooo… it’s cute, they talk, but he makes it look like he doesn’t date much (yeah, right), and he chose her for this date because he’s ready. LIAR.
But when it comes time to decide who to hire for the fitness contributor position, the entire team wants Evan, while Diondra LIES and says she wants the other guy. Really, she just doesn’t want to have the hots for a coworker.
Have no fear though, because Joanna swooped right in like a well-defined Instagram brow, and called Diondra right on her shit. BLOOP. So, Diondra hires Evan and tells herself that her job comes first, and she can’t be distracted by pretty boys.
At the end of the episode, we’ve reached that “big announcement” Joanna wanted to make to the staff. And she says that after four years, she is leaving Cosmo. That she will be vacating her office that afternoon.
Needless to say, the staff is freaking out. Editor changes often mean STAFF changes. However, when they show the preview for the remainder of the season, Joanna is still in the episodes, and so is the staff, so we’ll see.
That doesn’t mean it didn’t take everything I freaking had not to Google it! Anyway, I’m really looking forward to the rest of this show, and I hope you’ll watch it with me!
Hey, hey! Wow, last week was pretty huge in my little corner of the world. It was my first week at a new job, and we have a new President. I also went to Mexico for the second time in my life, but I had my first taste of panchos, ate roasted street corn, fresh fruit seasoned with chile, and took tons of beautiful pictures in the streets of Progresso.
Since last week, I now work in a pretty emotional, controversial line of work. While this work is meaningful to me, I’ve learned quickly just how important it is to keep those things that bring me happiness nearby.
Now, I try not to get too political here, and I won’t today, but I know many people are sad, or scared, about the times ahead. I get it, and I’m hoping you’ll take my same advice. Keep doing the things you love. Whether its reading romance novels, or watching true crime shows, or maintaining a garden. Do it.
I think sometimes its easy to get caught up in all the work we have to do – work for our country, the causes we care about. But in order to tackle those things, we need to be in good spirits; we need rest, we need to be healthy – we need to be at our best in order to give our best.
And so, last night I watched another episode of “Mariah’s World” (along with an episode of the Real Housewives of Atlanta) and took a nice long bath. These things are important, too!
Ok, so let’s get into the episode!
Mariah is still on tour in Paris, and she’s casually sitting in bed reading fan mail. As in literal letters, which Mariah didn’t know people actually did! Fans, they’re just like us! Wait…
She is talking to Stella about how James had to go home and she wishes she had more time to spend with him, but she doesn’t, and that’s just how it is.
Tanaka got an MRI to find out exactly what’s wrong with his leg, and as he awaits the results, you can tell he is DEVASTATED. He finally realized Mariah is with James, and he can’t even dance away his cares.
On the next flight, the entire drama about the tour bus with the kids comes up again. Lawd. Anthony has basically spent a month ignoring Mary Ann after he basically threatened to quit if he had to stay on the bus with a kid.
The next stop on the tour is Amsterdam, and Tanaka finds out he has a cracked kneecap. He needs to rest for four weeks. So, no more tour for Tanaka! The bigger issue is, if it doesn’t heal properly, it will be another 6 months, and that could be the end of a career.
When Mariah gets word (right before the show), she’s terrified that he’s leaving the show and going home (but whyyyyy).
So, the team comes up with the idea that they need to cheer him up and should bring him on stage for a lap dance when Mariah sings “Touch My Body”. It was a litttttle awkward, even for me, sitting in my apartment by myself.
Mary Ann finally approaches Anthony and tells him (kindly) how much he hurt her because she respected him so much. He understands and apologizes, and all is well.
Later, the gang heads out to a place that sells pot brownies and space cakes, since weed is legal in Amsterdam. Mariah gets a nice chocolate cupcake – laced.
While everyone is obviously having a good time, Mariah decides to prank one of the dancers by hopping into bed with him while he’s sleeping – fully clothed – and then waking him up to think something more happened.
Mariah’s twins have a birthday coming up and the tour is taking everyone to South Africa. There is a very sweet moment when Mariah brings her kids on stage with a ton of blue and pink balloons and sings “Always be my Baby”…awww!
After the show, everyone is on the bus and the wine is flowwwwing, and Mariah and Tanaka come so close to kissing like five times.
And that’s the end of the episode! I’m pretty sure next week is the finale, although it wasn’t advertised as such. However, basically it shows Mariah unsure of whether or not she’s going to marry James, and then she’s running on the beach with Tanaka… hmm!
IIIIItttttt’s Monday and I’m not at work, so let’s celebrate that for a good week. It has actually been freezing (literally) here in Austin, so I spent the weekend under my electric blanket, crawling out only to watch what was reported to be the worst hockey game in Texas Stars’ history.
But I still managed to watch last night’s episode of “Mariah’s World”, so let’s get into it…
At the start of the episode, there’s still a big issue with the fact that the dancers don’t want children on the bus. But, Mariah wants everyone to get along, so she says to just let things happen “organically”.
So… the crew is off to London for another performance on the tour.
The issue this time is that Mariah’s assistant has fired the top hair stylist, and instead, they hired someone within budget, and who causes less drama. But Mariah’s hair doesn’t look as great.
So, that’s an issue.
Her staff is also focused on her “Anniversary” – Because Mariah Carey doesn’t believe in birthdays. Why would she?
But the excitement of her upcoming celebration is plagued by the DRAMA of two things: 1. The tour manager did not inform anyone that there was a time difference in Luxemborg, where Mariah was performing, so they arrived an hour late, and 2. Stella rehires Danielle and accuses her of being the one going to the press about all the drama.
I see the whole time change thing from a few different angles. Of course, I don’t understand how Mariah can have a huge staff around her and no one realizes (or says anything) about the time change. And two, why do people in concert crowds get soooo pissed about that? Have another drink and calm down.
On the Stella and Danielle front, Stella is the one that says Danielle causes drama, but it seems to be the other way around with Stella picking fights and flipping Danielle off for no apparent reason.
Finally, Mariah sits the women down, they talk it out, hug it out, and supposedly everything is just fine (but I’m sure this drama will pick up later).
On the man front, James Packer (Mariah’s then-fiance) is nowhere to be found and pretty much is non-existent at this point. Instead, Tanaka seems to be her main man, and the staff asks him to jump out of a cake for Mariah’s upcoming anniversary party.
Naturally, this won’t happen until the next episode but this whole fake love cherade is getting old already.
Even on a high of vermicelli noodles and wine, this show is boring AF. Honestly, I think this show is just fake all around, and I think this is just part of the fact that Mariah has never wanted to really let people into her life.
Successful reality shows often let us into the moments we couldn’t imagine otherwise – seeing someone in the hospital, or even just washing their face before bed – those are unscripted moments we can all relate to. So far, “Mariah’s World” is just a dramatic depiction of her life on tour, and not even the cool parts.
We’re only three parts into the 8-part “event” and I’m really hoping something picks up here.
Helllooooo! Today is the last Monday that I’ve got before a glorious staycation for the holidays. I just have to get through this week before I can run out of the office in complete freedom! Why does this make me so happy? Because on Friday I got into some hot water for not attending the optional Christmas party. So ready for 2016 to just end already.
In other news, I spent the weekend attempting to cheer myself up and I baked loads and loads of Christmas cookies and treats, and wrapped lots of gifts while watching Christmas movies! It was a pretty good time, I won’t lie to you.
Naturally, I was pretty ready for episode two of “Mariah’s World” to air on Sunday night, especially after hearing the reviews from the first episode. I heard many news outlets saying the entire on-air flirtation and now real-world romance between Mariah and Tanaka was fabricated completely for show press.
Huh? I am so naive to these things and automatically assumed it was real. What do you guys think?
Anyway, let’s jump into last night’s episode! I hate to say it already, but this show is going to have to work to keep things interesting. Because even just two episodes in, and I’d rather clean my kitchen that sit on my couch, watching.
Basically the entire hour-long episode circled around two main events: 1. Mariah’s assistant put the dancers and all of the kids (like 5-year-old kids) on the same bus because of a budget, and 2. Molly (the assistant’s assistant) STILL cannot figure out the damn Apple TV in Mariah’s room.
Obviously, the Euro tour is just kicking off, and there was lots of drama circling the fact that Mariah is bringing her children along, and the nanny misplaced the passports – and this put Mariah 3 hours late to her first rehearsal. But nonetheless, the first performance goes off perfectly, and the dancers even got the dreaded LIFT correct, and the show got some of the best reviews ever.
Speaking of dancers, there is very little talk about Mariah’s fiance during this episode, and instead there is an interesting scene with her and Tanaka. He goes to visit her backstage, and naturally she’s wearing this total-sequined, low-cut dress that’s got slits up each side. Because Mariah.
They talk for awhile and it’s pretty fliratcious… and honestly, I don’t think he’s cute. Am I alone in this camp?
Anyway, Mariah’s assistant and one of her backup singers is also bringing her kids and the kiddos were assigned to sleep on the same bus as the dancers. This does not go over well, as you can imagine. Stella claims there’s a budget that needs to be followed, but come on, I find it difficult to believe that Mariah Carey’s tour is under a budget cut. Right?
So, the creative director is absolutely pissed about this, and he throws a fit. He tells Mariah that he absolutely, CANNOT stay on the bus with 5-year-olds for a 27-show tour. Understandable. But he throws in that dancers like to turn up, and he’s not going to be worrying about a 5-year-old’s bedtime.
Meanwhile, Stella has been cutting employees left and right, and hiring 12-year-olds to replace them (because 12-year-olds know social media). So, that leaves the creative director shaking in his boots. Will he get clipped before the next show? We will see!
The one thing that caught my eye in this episode was Mariah’s mention of a previous marriage. She doesn’t mention names, but she talked about how she wasn’t allowed out of the house much. Then, there was a clip of Jermaine Dupri talking about how during that time, Mariah was kept in the tower.
I am assuming they’re talking about Tommy Matolla, whom she married in 1993 – and she’s said in many interviews that their marriage was hell, and she wished she would just get kidnapped. CREEPY. And sad. And it kind of explains a lot about the way she is with men – no offense to her.
Is anyone else watching “Mariah’s World”? I am going to stick with it, in hopes there’s a little more meat to it than just the tour. Stay tuned!
We are already FIVE episodes into “Famously Single” and I feel like there’s all sorts of emotions flying around – and you know what that means: DRAMA. So, let’s get this started!
Right off the bat, the roommates continue to be frustrated with Josh because he’s focusing on only physical aspects of the women he’s about to meet. Dr. Darcy explains that Josh is very obsessed with perfection, including physical appearance.
Brandi and Callum are on an official date – and they are holding hands on the ride there. They both love to cook, so Callum sets up a date for them to cook something with a chef. Cute!
Right when they’re getting into the cooking, Callum accidentally calls Brandi Aubrey – Whoopsie!
Meanwhile, back at the house… Aubrey asks Pauly if she can “pen” her name on him…and even though he says no repeatedly, she did it anyway, and it’s super annoying. I am really not understanding why I ever thought she was cool.
The cooking date seems to be going successfully – the meal looks delicious and they talk about being “free flowing” with their relationship; but that they do want to date exclusively during this process.
Josh is meeting up with the chick he went on a date with in the last episode, when he had the earpiece in. Right away, he tells her he was impressed with her on their last date, but that he did have an earpiece in during it.
She didn’t seem to mind his little secret, and they get on with their date at the batting cages (yikes). She takes it pretty well though, and she is able to joke around about some of the weird things he said on their last date. They really seem to get along, and I am hoping they go on more dates.
However, he tells Brandi he’ll probably see her (his date Dianna) again after the season is done taping, which pisses Brandi off. “He’s having girls thrown at him and he’s saying no because they’re not good enough,” Brandi says in her confessional. Yikes!
Dr. Darcy pulls the house together for a talk about looks vs. personality. Josh says he is into more than just looks, but the housemates aren’t buying it.
Many of the women in the house agree they’re into personality more than looks, while the guys agree looks are very important – but they know looks fade over time. Aubrey calls bullshit (and I have to agree).
Because most of the house said personality is more important than looks, Darcy tells them all they are going to have a mixer at the house, but all of the housemates will be blindfolded (these blindfolds allow the person to see shapes, but no details).
Aside from the initial hilarity of the entire house being blind – knocking drinks over and not being able to shake hands – the concept seems to get the point across.
And then there’s Aubrey, in the corner, saying she doesn’t want to participate, because she just wants to be with Pauly. Anyone shocked? No? Okay, moving on.
Josh, being the lil jerk, cheats, and asks the woman he’s talking to to describe herself. I’m rolling my eyes over here…
The guys actually seem to be doing really well with it, and they are having some fun conversations. Some of the guys have even figured out how to blindy hug their dates!
Pauly seems to really like his date, so I’m curious how this is going to fly with Aubrey.
The girls all hated the activity, while the guys were laughing and admitted they didn’t want to hang out with the girls in the house because they would bring the mood down (aw, snap!).
Pauly admits he has chemistry with Aubrey, but he wants to participate in the dates and learn while he’s having this experience.
Dr. Darcy has a one-on-one with Willis and she asks him about his experience in the house so far. He tells her that the coupled up guys in the house still want to experience the dates, but they’re afraid to branch out because of the women.
She asks him about his dating past and he tells her he’s been cheated on, and that even in those situations he’s stayed with the person. She talks to him about standards and being truthful with his intentions and feelings while he’s in relationships.
At the end of the episode, Darcy pulls the house together again and they talk about their blind dates. The deal is, if someone agrees to go on another date with a person, they get to see a picture of them.
Willis says yes, and his date is super cute! It’s Pauly’s turn, and he says he would rather go on a date with Aubrey. WAMP, WAMP. Next is Callum, and he picks his blind date over Brandi. She’s super cute and smart, and I feel for Brandi, because you can tell she’s sitting there trying to be happy for him. Awkward.
Josh is next, and he says he actually liked the same chick as Callum, so then Callum backs out and says, hey Josh you can have her, I’ll take Brandi!
Brandi seems obviously pissed, so it’s back to Josh, and he picks another girl he was talking to – who is cute and seems really sweet. He blushes and agrees to another date with her. Aw!
Meanwhile, Callum literally shakes his finger at Brandi, and she says “Oh, I’m no one’s back up plan” – FUCK yes girl! Callum blows up and says this is just part of the process. Dudes, I swear.
After the group, he is kind of chasing her through the house asking her why she’s mad; she explains how it appeared that she was the backup plan, and he accuses her of thinking he’s a scumbag. He does the whole manipulative thing of “that’s your bad, not mad” blah, blah, blah…
All of the other girls are listening in and they take Brandi’s side, that he’s a shithead. He finishes the convo by saying “If you don’t believe me, that’ your bad”.
Pssshhhhh, boy bye.
Next week? Looks like some steam for Somaya and a decent fight between Pauly and Aubrey. See y’all there!
Wahoo, episode 4 of “Famously Single”! I was honestly so freaking excited when I finally got it thru my thick skull yesterday that it was indeed Tuesday, which meant a fresh episode of “Famously Single”. After last week’s steam-session with the cast members, I was ready to see how things were going to progress.
The episode kicks off with Callum saying that it’s Brandi’s birthday and he surprises her with a bouquet of flowers for her. Aww! However, she is still questioning what happened the night before (in the previous episode). Rightfully so.
Dr. Darcy has a one-on-one with Brandi because of her attraction to Callum. Dr. Darcy is worried that Brandi is falling back into her ways of liking the bad boy who’s essentially unavailable, given that he’ll return to London once the taping is over.
Brandi tells Dr. Darcy about what happened at the party; about Callum’s jealousy and anger. Brandi admits that his anger does scare him, but she likes him. DANGER ZONE.
Next, Dr. Darcy meets with Somaya in hopes of getting a better picture of her dating past. She admits she’s never had a full-blown relationship with a man; and one that she had that was close involved severe physical violence. Like…as in.. he beat her head into the ground.
Somaya admits that this instance made her hate men; although she knows she didn’t deserve it, and that not everyone is bad.
Dr. Darcy makes a STELLAR point here: “If the person you’re with doesn’t add to you, they take away.” Boom.
The housemates decide to throw Brandi a surprise birthday party that night; which Brandi was really touched by. They go out, have some drinks, and Brandi pulls Callum to the side and explains herself over what happened at the house party. He apologizes and they seem to smooth things over.
Meanwhile… Aubrey and Pauly are still flirty; and it’s kind of annoying. Or maybe just Aubrey is.
Dr. Darcy announces the next challenge: everyone will be going on dates, but the housemates will serve as each other’s dating coaches; including choosing how they do hair, makeup, dress, and even what they say while on the date, given an earpiece.
The guys will coach the girls, and vis-versa.
Aubrey immediately doesn’t want to participate, and she doesn’t want Pauly to either, because she wants to date him. So, she tries to convince his partner/dating coach to not let him fall for his blind date. Ughhhhh.
Josh and Brandi are partners, which is pretty funny, because Josh immediately demands that Brandi not wear any animal print. He chooses virginal white. LOLZ.
When Brandi coaches Josh on his data, it’s pretty hilarious. She forces Josh to ask his date if she’s into foursomes, and shockingly, his date doesn’t get up and walk away.
Aubrey’s date has “Fuck Fame” tattoed across his knuckles; and with that, she’s done with him.
Pauly’s date is suuuuper cute; and it seems they have a lot in common. However, his partner, Somaya, is keeping her promise to Aubrey and is not letting him get too deep.
Aubrey is grilling Pauly about his date…and he’s sweating it. He’d taken his date’s number, but he says he does like Aubrey.
The group is starting to get a little annoyed with Josh, because he says he wants to learn and continue to go on dates, but he’s veeerrry picky.
The end of the episode brings a group session with Dr. Darcy to recap her on how everyone’s dates went. I’ll admit this part was pretty lackluster – Dr. Darcy basically told everyone they did great…and who learns from that?
In the preview for next week’s episode, the group is out on another set of dates, and Aubrey looks pissed, yet again. But we’ll have to wait and see what happens! You know I’ll be watching!
Between episodes of “Below Deck” and “Famously Single”, Tuesday nights are starting to become pretty awesome! So, episode three of “Famously Single” aired last night, and shit is starting to get good.
Dr. Darcy kicks off the show by inviting the cast into the living room together to talk about sex. Particularly, she asks the group how they feel about monogamy. The women were in agreement that monogamy is possible, and good. The guys? Not so much… shocker.
A few of the men admitted to cheating; and said it’s hard for them to think about being loyal to one woman. Once the group started talking about sex; there was a mix of opinions about casual sex vs. making love. Pauly says he’s been single for so long that everything about his life is casual; and he admits to never making love.
And this little comment turns Aubrey RIGHT on! I’m sure you’ve heard the rumors that these two hook up on the show (and perhaps are still together), so this could be the spark that starts it all. Dr. Darcy then informs the group that their next challenge is to throw a house party full of eligible singles.
The cast members start scouring their phones to find single friends willing to come to the party. While this is happening, Aubrey is putting her flirt on. She’s all, “Pauly are you going to invite a bunch of girls and make me jealous?!” …And she is like sitting on his laaaaap… oh shit.
Dr. Darcy notices this trend, and says that Pauly has a tendency to get with girls that are convenient, so she wonders if he really likes Aubrey or if it’s just him falling in-line with his habits.
A similar story is happening between Brandi and Calum – they are flirting, and she’s hoping he won’t hook up with anyone at the party. SNAP.
Dr. Darcy brings Calum in for his one-on-one to get his “story” – and what he reveals actually brought tears to my eyes. He talked about his father being an alcoholic, and Calum has very few memories of his father otherwise. His father passed away when Calum was just 24, and he says after that, he went on a three-year drinking bender, lost his contracts, his looks, and gained a reputation as a playboy.
He’s cleaned up his act a little bit since then, and says he’s currently the healthiest and feeling the best he’s felt in his whole life…but, he’s still single.
The group goes out for the night, and things are getting heated between Aubrey and Pauly, and also with Calum and Brandi. Pauly has his little confessional with the camera, and he says he’s okay with the flirting, but he wants to keep it at a minimum. We’ll see about that.
…And then Brandi kisses Calum. Right at the table.
The next night is the house party. Of course, Pauly D is the DJ, and everyone is drinking and dancing… Aubrey tells her girlfriend that Pauly is going to be her next man, and that she is going to **** him. That’s how it was on the screen.
Meanwhile, Calum is getting hammered. RECIPE FOR DISASTER.
Brandi is dancing, and kissing some guys, and it is pissing Calum off… And then Pauly and Aubrey make out. And she says, “I hope he kisses me like that at our wedding.”
Calum calls Brandi out for kissing multiple dudes, and he tells her she’s “disgusting”. Pauly and Brandi start to walk off together, and Brandi kisses him on the forehead. Pauly tells Brandi she’s “the coolest girl” he’s ever met in his entire life.
Calum and Aubrey are watching the whole thing and he kisses her on the cheek. Drama.
Pauly and Aubrey go into another room and shut the door, and she’s asking him if he’s only going to want her. They are kissing, but the camera cuts away.
Calum kind of yells at Brandi, and Brandi starts crying. It’s actually a little sad.
The next morning, Brandi and Aubrey have a heart-to-heart over their feelings for the guys. Brandi admits that Calum is the typical guy she falls for – a bad boy, and one that’s unavailable, given that he’ll go back to London once they’re done taping the show.
…And then the episode ends! I was so sad there wasn’t a group session at the end, but I guess I’ll just have to get over it. I’m sure next week’s episode will make up for it!
Can’t get enough of The Bitter Lemon? Sweet, ‘cuz we can’t stop talking! Stop by this afternoon for a second post today, because it’s Hump Day, and there’s a three-day weekend on the horizon, and why the hell not? See you soon!