From Friend Zone to Fetishville: A Guest Blog.

Guest Blogger, Susie

Guest Blogger, Susie

Susie Meredith is an HR professional for one of the world’s leading online retailers. She currently resides in Nashville, TN with her Golden Retriever, Sadie and her two cats, Vinny and Joey. Susie saved Vinny and Joey from a hard life in the cat-mob on the streets of Tennessee. She received her Bachelor’s in HR Development from Indiana State University and is currently working toward her Master’s in HR Management.

While obtaining her Bachelor’s she was a member of the Gamma Chi chapter of Zeta Tau Alpha where along with holding several leadership positions she also spent a significant amount of time partying hard, having fun, and playing Harvest Moon on Nintendo 64 with her roommates. Susie moved to Nashville with her family after a lifetime of living in Indiana after college and loves being a transplant Nashvillian. In her free time she is a self proclaimed TV junkie, alien movie connoisseur, and craft extraordinaire.  Her motto is “If you can buy it, I can make it,” which sometimes leads to some interesting projects and meals. 

*** This is Part II, Read Part I here ***

… He had a Giantess fetish.

Yup there it is, my proof that I am still in Crazyville. But after many years of odd confessions from people and working in HR, I have learned to have an open mind and decided to do a little research and what I found was quite interesting. He sent me a link to a fetish page that was full of videos of grown women running around trying to step on, squish, sit on, and eat tiny little men.

Like men that are two inches tall and a full size woman.

One woman put the little man in her purse and carried him around. Another tried to trap the little man under a wire trash can. Another kept her tiny man in a hamster cage. Yup.  Shit just got weird.

He even had a favorite actress. What I found interesting about this was there was no sexual element of these videos. Both the women and man were fully clothed and not talking nor partaking in any sexual acts. I know that there are videos that are out there that are sexual in nature, but not the ones that he was watching (of course according to him).

Do not text & date

Do not text & date

He then proceeded to tell me that he watched them when he was “horny” and asked me if it was something I would be interested in. And I laughed to myself.  Thank the good Lord it was over text because he would have thought I was the biggest bitch if it would have been in person. I conveniently “fell asleep” before responding to the texts.

I responded back in the morning and told him I had fallen asleep and would chat with him later. I talked to a few friends about it and they got a chuckle out of as we all had never heard of this before. I then started forming quite a few questions in my head.

  1. You are aware that this could never happen in real life correct?
  2. If you had your choice of a girl… ready to do whatever you want, or watching giant ladies which would you choose?
  3. How often do you participate in this activity?
  4. How does one realize that they are interested in such a thing?

The next night around eight he text me and told me he was in my area and wanted to stop by my house. I was completely caught off guard and quickly did the fifty mile an hour fluff and stuff trying to hide my hoard. So he came over and sat on my couch and hung out… FOREVER! Till one in the morning, and I had to be at work at eight… and I’m one of those eight-to-ten-hours-of-sleep girls, so he was messing with my chi.

But he was good company and I was having fun so I rolled with it. During this time I was able to ask my questions. I found out that he does this whenever he feels horny. He was introduced to it by a friend I believe (I’m not swearing on that). Although he knows it could never happen in real life, it is simply a fantasy (which I still don’t get) that he enjoys… quite often. And if he had his choice between the girl and the videos his exact answer was “It depends on my mood.”

No, I did not stutter. It depends on his mood if he has sex with an actual interested female party or with his hand in front of his computer. At this point in time I’m still caught off guard; all I can imagine is being in a relationship with someone and wanting to have some “special time” and him just being like, “Nah…. I’ve got these videos of giant ladies chasing after tiny men I would rather masturbate to.”

Oh, hey Eric...

Oh, hey Eric…

Not good for a girl’s self-esteem. When I asked him about it, he was just like well this is how I am, I told you I was weird. And then I was stuck on it. I was stuck on the fact that he would rather jerk off than have sex with someone. I still don’t get it. He just kept saying “it’s a fantasy” or “it’s a fetish, you wouldn’t understand unless you had a fetish.”

Well I’ve got a fantasy that includes Eric from True Blood making me his vampire boo thing, but that doesn’t prevent me from being with real guys. And of course things continued down Weird Street. It was almost like he was mad that he told me about it and decided he would turn into a dick. We went from talking every day to him not ever answer my texts, or sending me a text and starting a conversation but never responding, and when I would get irritated with his lack of response I suddenly was looking too much into things, or going crazy.

Remember in the beginning where I said this was one of my biggest pet peeves? Yeah. Too much vodka and a cell phone ended up with me texting him telling him how much of an asshole I though he was being and if he wanted to be my “friend or whatever he was doing” he needed to realize that this would be the quickest way to piss me off. I apologized for my drunken tirade, but verified that it was still a hot button for me when people did that repeatedly.

The last time I heard from him I asked him if he wanted to hang out and he said it was “Laundry day” or some BS. I then wondered how I ended up on the shit end of this stick? I’m just trying to be friends with the tiny man who wants to be trapped by a giant woman and he’s turning me down like I’m some troll trying to marry him.

I dropped it immediately; I went against my gut instinct and let it go on to long. NO MORE! We haven’t spoken since but I still get a chuckle out of the man who wanted a giant lady to chase him around. As a joke my friend brought me one of her son’s tiny toy soldiers. She told me we should put him in different places and take pictures and send them to him. I did it once and then forgot about it.

He now resides in the bottom of my pen cup which seems to be exactly where my friendship ended up, tossed away and forgotten. Although this wasn’t a relationship I actually wanted I find it interesting how quickly at the end he reminded me that I resided in the Friend Zone. Suddenly I was making something out of nothing when a week before he was trying to get me to pretend to be a giant lady via text so he could jack off to it.

There is nothing “Friend Zone” about sexting and it’s not something I prefer to participate in anyways. Why does the phone always have to be in the middle of every relationship?! So as I sit on the corner of Weird Street and Awkward Avenue I think, I must give off some kind of pheromone to guys with weird habits that draws them to me and then compels them to treat me like dirt…

If you would like to get in touch directly with Susie you can e-mail her at pumpkinpie8784@gmail.com or find her on Facebook.   

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Posted on June 27, 2014, in The Ingredients and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. Proven once again … truth is stranger than fiction!!! Am I wrong to have laughed until I cried reading this entry? Thank you for sharing!

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