WTF are my upstairs neighbors doing?

Editor’s note: This post was originally written on June 3, 2016. I actually still live in the same apartment, with the same upstairs neighbors, so I’ve posted a 2021 update near the end of this post. Good luck!

About three weeks ago, I started noticing a lot of noise coming from the apartment above mine. It sounded like a combination of dragging heavy furniture across the faux wood flooring and a small bear running on its hind legs from the kitchen to the living room.

The noise was constant from around 8am on a Saturday until 10pm that night. And, it hasn’t stopped since.

About a week into the noise, I did a little rap-a-tap-tap on the ceiling with my broomstick, accompanied by my loudest “SHUT AAAPPPP!!”

But that did nothing, of course. So, I reached out to my apartment’s leasing office to find out what to do. They said I could file a complaint and the first would be a verbal warning.

Okay, filed the complaint.

Maybe it’s just me, but apparently, my upstairs neighbors thought that was pretty funny because it appears to have gotten worse ever since. It could also be a coincidence, as I’m kind of certain my complex probably didn’t say anything, because that’s the kind of complex this is.

It is at this time that I’d like to inform you that I live on a property owned by Alliance. It would be my personal recommendation that if you’re in the market for a new place, don’t go with Alliance. They own many properties around the country, and if the rest are anything like the one I’m currently living in, they’ll nickel and dime your ass, their maintenance men will enter your apartment illegally, and they won’t do anything you ask.

Now that that’s out of the way, back to the neighbors. I didn’t want to be a total bitch and file a noise complaint every day, but it was starting to get a little ridiculous.

I even came home for lunch one day during the week and the noise was still happening! So, that leaves me to believe there’s at least two people living there and they now take shifts to move the furniture back and forth across the floor, as the energy they’re creating must be powering Round Rock, Texas, in its entirety.

“I’ll take the night shift!” one of them must say to the other; one sleeps while the other stomps, drags the couch behind him, and occasionally drops a bowling ball on the ceiling right above my TV.

When I filed the initial complaint, I was kind of hoping my leasing agent would reply back and say, “Omigosh, we are actually doing construction to that unit!”

Because then, at least I’d know, I wouldn’t really be getting anyone in trouble, and I’d have some sort of answer to my question about what the hell they’re doing up there.

When I’m laying on my couch, attempting to watch TV, and I hear a body roll across the ceiling – I wonder about what this could possibly be. So, I’ve come up with a list:

• Indoor bowling
• Bratty child playing tag with himself
• Dog held in slavery dragging a wheel barrow
• Cross-fit junkie performing multiple WODs using furniture
• Amnesia patient rearranging every single day
• Someone with OCD moving the furniture to clean the baseboards each day
• An artist covering bowling balls in paint with the floor as the canvas
• Two old men, with canes, racing across the living room

… the options are endless here. And so is the noise. So, two weeks after filing the first complaint, I’ve filed the second one, which my leasing agent says, is a violation on their lease. I do not think that will make them stop, but the world can only hope, because I could use a little peace and quiet.

I’ll be peace.

…Have a great weekend guys! See you right back here on Monday!

A 2021 Update on my noisy upstairs neighbors

This blog post is one of my most popular — thank you for stopping by! — which tells me that lots of other people have this problem. So, I thought I’d give you an update.

After I filed the second noise complaint, my neighbors tried to retaliate and say that I had “Christmas lights” on my balcony during the non-holiday season. Ummm… what? I had string lights from IKEA that were just fun patio lights, but my lease is very vague about what you can have on your patio, so my office told me to remove the lights.

I reread my lease, and then I ripped down the lights, but I hung them right inside the patio door (which is a big sliding glass door), and then I called the leasing office and said they were the worst. Then, I left horrible reviews any place I could find online. That got another call from the leasing office and I was just all kinds of fired up.

I’m not sure how much time passed, but I ended up filing yet another noise complaint against my neighbor and she told the leasing office she wanted to have a sit down with me because I wouldn’t complain so much if I knew her situation. Ummm. NO. I told the leasing office that I actually didn’t care “what her situation was” because no one should have a situation that involves stomping across the floor and hosting loud parties.

The noise has continued over the years, but I obviously realized that the apartment complex wasn’t going to do anything to help me. So, as mean as this sounds, I just started taking matters into my own hands and yelled at the neighbor from inside my apartment and banged on the ceiling with a broom a lot. Sometimes I yelled at her from my balcony like a real asshole. I swear I’m not a mean person, but the noise just drives me INSANE.

In 2020, when we were all going through it, I decided I wasn’t going to complain about her. I figured we were all having a tough time, and I bought some noise-cancelling headphones, and that was that.

But in 2021, I ain’t having it. So, one night in February, she was being excessively loud, and I banged on the ceiling with my trusty broom. And this bitch stomped back!

NO. NOPE. NO. NO. NO TO THE HELL NO.

I marched right over to my computer and filed a noise complaint. Our complex is owned and operated by a new company, so I included in my complaint that I’d filed at least 5 prior complaints for the exact same thing. I said that I’ve been told to get over it and that response would no longer be acceptable to me because I should be able to enjoy some peace and quiet in my own home.

The next day — to my surprise and delight — I received a response. The office said they would take care of it and to please let them know if I heard anything again.

You guys… she shut the fuck up. I honestly have no clue what they said to her, but she all of the sudden is so quiet. I know she’s still up there because I sometimes hear footsteps, but not stomping, no more moving furniture at 11pm, no more vacuuming… it’s amazing.

The funny thing is, I was convinced she had some sort of disorder that made her unable to be quiet. And yet, all of the sudden, she can live without stomping! This makes me wonder if she was doing it on purpose to piss me off. Regardless, I’m loving the peace and quiet.

So, if you’re in this boat, I know how bad it sucks. I hope you can resolve it without going too nuts!

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