Guest Blog: In response to Susie Patton…
Posted by thebitterlemon
Susie Meredith is an HR professional for one of the world’s leading online retailers. She currently resides in Nashville, TN with her Golden Retriever, Sadie and her two cats, Vinny and Joey. Susie saved Vinny and Joey from a hard life in the cat-mob on the streets of Tennessee. She received her Bachelor’s in HR Development from Indiana State University and is currently working toward her Master’s in HR Management.
While obtaining her Bachelor’s she was a member of the Gamma Chi chapter of Zeta Tau Alpha where along with holding several leadership positions she also spent a significant amount of time partying hard, having fun, and playing Harvest Moon on Nintendo 64 with her roommates. Susie moved to Nashville with her family after a lifetime of living in Indiana after college and loves being a transplant Nashvillian. In her free time she is a self proclaimed TV junkie, alien movie connoisseur, and craft extraordinaire. Her motto is “If you can buy it, I can make it,” which sometimes leads to some interesting projects and meals.
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4 AM would be the time I woke up this morning still irritated at the crap I read about yesterday (Editor’s note: she’s referring to Monday’s post, check it out here). Susan Patton. Not only is she a fellow Susie but also an HR professional hocking the crap that makes women question their worth. So in response to her 10-things-that-women-do-wrong rubbish she puts out there, I’m going to run with 10 things that men these days do that make them un-datable.
—They have unrealistic expectations of what women should be. There I said it. What any “normal” girl thinks. The expectation that we should get out of bed looking perfect and dressed in our finest is purely stupid. I work in HR in a warehouse, if you think I’m going to get dressed up every day when the dress code says I can wear sweatpants you are nuts! But also there is this Hollywood expectation that is out there. Because all actresses are sexy, smoldering, perfectly sculpted women suddenly I’m missing the mark. Like right now I’m watching VH1 and Jason Derulo has this woman on here around her house in lace underwear just hanging around her house… Because that happens in real life. I would like for more men to understand that the women they see on TV and in the media are getting paid to look that way. Its part of my job to be smart and knowledgeable in my field, not to look like a 10 in my underwear. That is what I get paid for, Jennifer Lawrence is getting paid BANK to look good in everything, therefore she does. If I got paid that much to be pretty I’d probably care more too!
—They are lazy daters. If I had a dollar for every time I met a guy and he didn’t want to actually go somewhere but just wanted to “hang out,” I would have enough money to quit my job and concentrate on looking as good as JLaw. I was talking to a guy once and was like “Hey let’s go do something fun!” And his was response was, “I know of something fun we can do;-).” Seriously? Take a girl out, speak to her out loud not just via text message. I can’t remember the last time I talked to a guy he wasn’t at least 75% reliant on text message to talk to me. I get the ease and convenience of text message but to me everyone texts everyone, you only talk on the phone to people you really are interested in talking to, so you are pretty much telling me that I’m not worth a phone call, which isn’t much. Even when I talk to my friends about dating they are never telling me about any awesome place they went with their date, they just hung out and watched TV. I love to watch TV more than most people, but sometimes a girl needs to be taken out.
—They lack initiative, creativity, drive, and balls. Ok so I looped quite a few into one here. So let’s take it one by one, lack of initiative – get up and accomplish something. Even if it’s doing the dishes! Or pick up the phone on your own, make plans… do something! Creativity – this ties in to #2, the only date that seems to come to mind for a guy is to “hang out.” There are tons of things to do, even if it’s finding a nice patio to chill out at and listen to some live music. Like you could easily google “creative dates” and someone out there will tell you what to do. Drive – I’m not saying you need to want to be the ruler of the free world. Just have some idea that you want to eventually move out of mom and dad’s basement or go back to school. Make something happen for yourself. Last one: balls – find them. Make a decision, say what you think, do something bold.
—They can’t fix anything, they just give up. This pertains to two things, not only am I talking about fixing relationship issues and solving problems between two people but also sometimes its nice to have a guy who can fix something that’s actually broken.
—Morales please? It’s a simple one but it seems to be something many guys are lacking.
—Mom and Dad will fix it… Still… at 30. Who needs independence? There comes a point when you have to grow up. I get that things happen in life that because you to have to move back in with family in such but if you have been 100% dependent on your parents for your entire life this is an issue at this point. Your 20’s are gone. Time to be full grown.
—No compromise. So many boys I meet want exactly what they want with no regard or compromise for what the other person may want. Sometimes you have to stop being a baby and realize you will not always get what you want in life. And that sometimes you have to care enough about how others around you feel and stop putting yourself first all the time.
—No give all take. This ties in to #7. In my job I spend my entire day giving and giving to people. Getting them what they need, fixing their issues. It has made me more aware in my personal life of people who are only takers… which seems to be the majority of the guys I meet.
—Some find themselves undeserving. On the flip side I think there are a lot of men out there that think they are undeserving of some of the women they meet. They see themselves as just what they are on paper instead of realizing that they are an amazing person that a women would love to spend their time with. If there are any men reading this; don’t be afraid of a woman who has their life together and may be more successful than you. If they are a woman worth your time they will want to share their life successes with you, not use them to bring you down. This one hits a personal note with me. My mother has always been the “bread winner” in my family and my father has been more of the care taker. He has worked in a warehouse my entire life, he doesn’t love it but he does it because he wants to work. He gets his joy from the successes of his family. He supported my mother 100% while she went to school full time and worked full time with two kids. He was a stay at home dad for a few years while my mom had to travel often for work and he was amazing! My sister and I never wanted for anything, our house was so clean you could eat off of any surface, and he always had an amazing meal prepared for dinner. Plus he built my mom this amazing trellis and brick patio. My dad doesn’t see himself as just an employee somewhere. He strives to be an amazing father and husband and succeeds. On the flip side, my mother has always counted her successes in her career as his successes. There has never been a time where I have heard her say “I did this.” She knows that without the help of my father she wouldn’t have been able to accomplish many of the things she’s been able to do.
—They don’t look for the diamond in the rough. How many times have you heard a guy talk about being the nice guy that some beautiful girl doesn’t pay attention to? When he has this awesome friend right next to him who is head over heels in love with him? And he looks at her as just a friend for whatever reason? So as much as men want women to look past the surface they could do the same. This goes in line with my last posting where I talked about my close friend who would describe his “perfect girl” and he was pretty much describing me but because of whatever reason – still have no clue — he wouldn’t look past the friendship piece.
And there is my 10, agree or disagree in the end things like this, along with Susan Patton’s books are just a matter of opinion. I still don’t like her but I bet she has an amazing Chicken Tetrazzini recipe.
Editor’s note: Still pissed off at Ms. Patton? Here’s some related reading:
- The 10 Worst Pieces of Advice From Susan Patton’s ‘Marry Smart’ — Huffington Post
- With ‘Marry Smart’ Susan Patton has more great news for the ladies — Washington Post
- ‘Princeton Mom’ gives dumb advice on marrying smart — Forbes
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Posted on November 12, 2014, in Light Pulp and tagged authors, breakup, college, college life, dating, dating guide, drinking, fighting, first date, getting published, heartbreak, Holly A. Phillips, How to Make Lemonade, life, love, marry smart, relationships, sex, single, Susan Patton, The Bitter Lemon, twenty-something. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.