When an Ex Gets Married.

Poor girl.
Poor girl.

Ugh. Getting the news about an ex getting married (especially when you’re still single) can be a bitch. I can’t speak for everyone, but even when I didn’t have feelings for the person anymore, it’s still rough news to get.

All of my exes are married, except my most recent (although he might be, who knows?). My very first boyfriend, Adam, was also the first one to get married. He proudly married the woman that he cheated on me with — lucky her, right?

Even though it had been years since we dated, I was devastated when I got the news. He was my best friend in high school, before we finally dated in college. He was my first love, and I definitely pictured us walking down the aisle. It was difficult for me to picture him sharing that moment with anyone else.

But he did, and I of course, stalked all of the photos online when I was ready. And as hard as it is for me to admit it, the pictures were beautiful.

After that initial pain, other exes that got married hurt me less. I don’t know if it’s because I cared less about them, or because I was older, and now it seems like everyone is getting married.

A guy I dated for years got engaged just a few months after we broke up — and my jaw hit my office floor when I got the news (I saw it on Facebook and then Googled it). Not only did I find out he’d been cheating on me for years, but now he was getting married. I wasn’t jealous — the poor girl was marrying an asshole.

But I did feel like a failure. I really wanted to marry him when we were together, and he kept telling me marriage wasn’t in his plan. Little did I know that it was in his plan, he even had a ring, but the plan didn’t involve me. I felt like an idiot.

So what do you do when you find out an ex is getting married and you’re pissed? The first thing you should do is figure out why you’re upset. Did you really want to marry him? Was he truly the right guy for you (hint: he wasn’t)? Or are you actually mad that he’s happy and you’re not (he’s not really that happy)? Are you worried you’ll never get married or find love?

Chances are, you’re upset at something that has very little, or nothing to do with your ex. Now is the time to figure out what it is and how to change it. In the meantime, it’s totally okay to grab a bottle of wine (or three) and host a chick flick marathon and/or burn all remaining photos of him you’ve got stashed under your bed.

Living well is the best revenge.

—George Herbert 


  1. aliciamshops

    Wait till they start having kids! Guy i thought I was gonna marry, broke up for several reasons including infidelity but “not financially ready for marriage & kids” was one of them. Few months later I got a new boyfriend. Within a year of that news getting to the ex he had a pregnant wife…I was happy doing me, which was the right thing for me to do, so I could no longer be unhappy worrying about him.

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