‘Tis here. Every. Single. Year. Without fail, every single time fall rolls around, I get sick. It has been this way since I was a child — only then, at least I could blame it on being stuck in a classroom with a bunch of dirty kids.
Now? I suppose I’m stuck in an office with all of their parents. Go figure.
The weird thing is, I went to bed Friday night feeling fine, and then woke up Saturday morning with a full-blown cold. Sniffles, chills, you name it.
I had enough drugs in my bathroom closet to hold me over until Sunday afternoon, but then, I had to crawl out of bed and venture somewhere.
I must’ve had a high fever, because I decided Wal-Mart would be the PERFECT place to go to grab a few grocery-like items and cold medicine.
I swear to God, if I had a dollar for every bitch-face I received while trying to find Kleenex in Wal-Mart, I would be rich. That, or just how many times I almost get ran-over by a crazy cart person.
Anyway, I made it through the checkout after waiting in line for 20 minutes (and getting my jollies from the woman in front of me buying frozen hot wings and MAGNUM condoms).
I went home, took my meds and went back to bed… I awoke only because I had a movie date that night (more on this later), and I layered on so much makeup to hide my raw-red nose, and loaded up on meds to avoid sneezing during the flick. I couldn’t help from sniffle a few times, but for that I was equipped with a pocket-full of Kleenex.
Of course, everyone hates being sick. I especially hate living alone when I’m sick because I totally give myself a pity party, and the only person who comes is Blanche, and let’s face facts, Blanche doesn’t really give much of a fuck, she just has nowhere else to go (believe me, if she could figure out how to unlock the front door, she’d be on her way to Dixieland in a heartbeat).
The only good thing about being sick now, is that it’s not a holiday — often, I get sick during Thanksgiving or Christmas, which just seems like bad Karma, and nothing else.
And although it seems like just a cold, I always nurse it as much as possible, because in the past, I’ve had pneumonia, strep throat, and mono. Not good.
If you’re feeling the fall flu like me, I can say I swear by Zarbee’s Cough & Throat Relief Nighttime Drink, peppermint essential oil, and the Hallmark Channel. Lots of good, sappy movies to help me rest easy.
Until next time… ACCHHOOOWWWW!