Things I’ve Learned From watching ‘The Hills’

MTV’s series, The Hills, has always been a not-so-guilty pleasure for me. I loved watching Laguna Beach, too.

Heidi, Audrina, Lauren, & Whitney on Rolling Stone's May 2008 cover.
Heidi, Audrina, Lauren, & Whitney on Rolling Stone’s May 2008 cover.

And while, I know you all probably think I’m dumb for obsessing over all six seasons of The Hills, not only while it was on TV, but ever since, thanks to my DVD collection—I’ve learned quite a bit from the (perhaps fake) reality series.

The Hills taught me:

  1. Glamour is real. I remember my mom once telling me that I wanted to have a “Glamorous” life. At the time, I took it as an insult, but when I think about it—it’s true. OF COURSE I want to live a glamorous life! Unfortunately, my paycheck doesn’t really agree with me, and, well…me. So, instead, I’m left to drool over the glamorous lives of others. Enter: The Hills. The show gives us an exclusive, inside look at some of Hollywood’s hottest clubs and restaurants for FREE. That’s something I can get behind!
  2. Everyone has a “Justin Bobby.” It’s easy to watch episodes of The Hills and get mad at Audrina for her Justin Bobby cycle of evil. But, we’ve all been there. There’s that ONE guy who is so, so, completely and totally wrong for you, but letting him go is difficult as hell (until he gets engaged behind your back).
  3. MTV still holds the reigns. You can bash MTV all you want, but obviously they’ve still got some power if they were able to get Heidi a job at Bolthouse and Lauren a job at Teen Vogue. Sorry ladies, love ya, but you didn’t get that job on talent, k?
  4. Bad things really do happen to good people. Lauren Conrad might just be the nicest person alive, yet some shitty stuff happened to her! Think about it—the sex tape rumors, Spencer, and well, Heidi. Oh, and that time Stephanie back-stabbed her and went on a date with Doug. And the time when Brody got a girlfriend as soon as Lauren landed in Paris.
  5. Jason’s addict-tendencies are dead-on. It’s no secret that I fell in love with an addict. And it was horrible, awful, don’t do it, stay far away… and we all know that Lauren’s once-boyfriend Jason is an Addict as he totally checked into Celebrity Rehab. And while, he doesn’t come across as a raging drunk in episodes of The Hills, his passive-aggressive style of blaming hits so close to home for me. Ew.
  6. Brody Jenner is a total BRO…and I still think he’s hot. Okay, okay! I’m finally admitting it, Brody Jenner is clearly a bro, but I can’t stop crushing on him! It’s a personal problem, I know.
  7. Everything is not as it seems. If you stuck with The Hills until their series finale, you’ll recall that horrible, horrible moment when our premonitions came true and the set rolled away from behind Brody standing in the street. This was a HARD lesson to learn, and it was kind of executed in the worst way possible. Thanks, MTV.
Click the picture to see the original series ending (not that alt. ending horse shit).
Click the picture to see the original series ending (not that alt. ending horse shit).

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