Getting the Fade.
The fade is more than just a haircut. In dating terms, the fade is when one person in the “relationship” (it could happen during the earlier stages of a relationship) disappears. Basically, they fall off the face of the earth.
I know I’m not the only person this has happened to — I’ve got audio evidence — but it’s happened to me a lot. In fact, it might be happening to me as I type this, I haven’t quite figured it out yet.
While I don’t have numerical data to back it up, I’d venture to say that the fade is most likely to occur in the earlier stages, like when you’re talking, or have just gone out on a few dates. Maybe you’ve had sex, maybe you haven’t. While not the reason, but I’d also venture to say that texting has made the fade a much more popular route when it comes to methods of rejection.
The fade allows someone to get out without having that awkward conversation… Umm, yeah, I don’t really think it’s working/I’m just not ready for a relationship/I’m really busy with work right now. I’ve heard it all. But the fade means none of that happens. A person just stops replying to your texts and/or answering your calls.
It is the rejection method of pussies, to put it lightly.
An article in Marie Claire confirms my point, that men love to avoid the issue (it’s quoted) and any chance of pressure. Puh-lease!
The fade is less likely to bother me (I can only speak for me) if we’ve only been out two times. It’s a completely different story if we’ve been out a handful of times, if we’re sleeping together, or if we’re exclusively in a full-blown relationship.
I’ve gotten the fade in all of those situations — but the ones that hurt the most were when actual boyfriends stopped talking to me. Some, to this day, still have never reached out and told me what the deal was. Which is completely fucked up.
So, what do you do when this happens to you? While you may really want to send a super shitty text, try to refrain from flying off the handle. There is a small chance that something legit is happening that’s keeping him away from his phone (although I wouldn’t bet on it), so don’t make yourself look crazy.
Instead, keep yourself (and your hands) busy. Bake something new. Paint a picture. Clean out your closet. See a movie. Take a yoga class. Basically, do you. Get on with your life. And while you’re busy doing that, you just might find that he’s not really important anyway.
Posted on August 25, 2014, in Light Pulp and tagged breakup, dating, ex boyfriends, fighting, guy disappears, Holly A. Phillips, How to Make Lemonade, life, love, The Bitter Lemon, the fade, twenty-something, waiting by the phone, young love. Bookmark the permalink. 11 Comments.