I’ve gotten The Fade many times in dating — and I know I’ve already made it quite clear that I hate it, and it really sucks (read this if you really want the scoop).
If you’ve never gotten The Fade — when a guy starts taking longer to reply to your texts and then eventually just falls off the planet — consider yourself very, very lucky. It’s happened to me many times, and by now, I can usually spot it a mile away.
The frustrating thing about The Fade is, you want answers. It’s a total copout way of letting someone go. Not to mention that it’s just plain mean.
Although getting The Fade in any situation completely sucks, I am more likely to let it go if we’ve only hung out a few times. If we’ve been going on dates for a few months, we’ve had sex, or we’re in a full-blown relationship, then that’s not okay.
The thing is, what are you going to do about it? There’s not much you can do to him (or her) for giving you The Fade, but there’s a lot you can do to get through it, and get over the coward while you’re at it:
- Don’t justify it. I hate the whole, “Maybe he’s busy with this or that…” “Maybe he’s taking a nap…” or maybe he’s just an asshole. Texting takes about two minutes, and that’s that.
- Try not to spin. This is the toughest part. Don’t start thinking of all the fun times you had or what could have been, because this will lead to a string of psychotic text messages that will only make you look crazy and then he’ll be justified in his reasoning for ignoring you in the first place!
- Get busy. This is my favorite part. Pack your schedule with things you need/want to get done. Do anything to keep your fingers from texting/calling him and your mind from thinking of him. Do a craft project. Read. Host a girl’s night. Paint a room. Get ahead at work. Start a blog (heh heh). You wouldn’t believe how much you can accomplish when you’re not obsessing over a guy!
- Stick to your guns. When he comes back around (they usually do), don’t waiver. Best thing to do? Reply his text with, “Who is this?”
- Wear this shirt. No, seriously.
The most courageous act is still to think for yourself. Aloud.