Pic of the Week.
This shot glass has been sitting on my counter for weeks — because what are you supposed to do with a gift someone that you thought was boyfriend-potential got you, and then stops talking to you? The options are as follows:
- Throw it against the wall, hoping it shatters into a billion pieces
- Drop it from a second-story window
- Wrap it up for the company white elephant Christmas gift exchange in 6 months
- Put it on a shelf
- Fill it with whiskey, shoot it, and hate yourself
Let me explain.
Boston and I were set up by a mutual friend of ours. Our first date was a blind date, and I was pleasantly surprised, as he was handsome, funny, and very polite (#Winning). We went on two great dates, and then Boston headed on a trip… to Boston, to visit a childhood friend.
He asked me what kind of souvenir I wanted. While getting me a gift was completely too kind, I told him that I collect tacky shot glasses from different cities. He thought I was kidding and asked me again.
I was serious. I really do have a shelf in my kitchen dedicated to the tackiest shot glasses I’ve found in this country. So, he returned with said shot glass.
He gave it to me on date #3, when I went to visit him at his home in New Orleans. We went to dinner, and then went out for handcrafted cocktails. When we went back to his place, he asked me if I wanted to stay over.
Following one of Patti Stanger’s rules — no sex until monogamy — I kept it clean. But sleeping next to someone new is always another step forward, if you ask me.
The next morning, as I drove back to Baton Rouge, I was thinking a lot about the weeks leading up to that morning. I was blown away. Here was a man who had his shit together, was fit and sexy, had a great sense of humor, lived in a cute little house, and was quick to compliment me.
It was really great. While I wanted to take things slow, I also wanted to know if he was dating to eventually get to a relationship, or just dating to date… and I was prepping myself to ask him about it on date #4.
But he never asked me on that date.
Despite a great date, he was acting distant toward me once he returned home from Boston. I know, it sounds weird, because I’d only known him a few weeks, but something was off.
And I started questioning myself… am I asking for too much? How much can I expect him to call/text me when it’s a new relationship-ish thing?
But I felt like he was giving me the fade, and I’ve had that happen to me way too many times, and I wasn’t going to let it happen again. So, I called him on it and asked him if something was up. He told me that it had nothing to do with me and that his work had been crazy since he got back.
I didn’t think that was the truth, and even if it was, it pissed me off. I’ve dated many-a-dude obsessed with working, and that whole excuse gets old.
But, he called me the following night and told me that during his trip, he visited his ex.
Oh, that. The ex factor.
This ex told him that she hated her current boyfriend, and that since she figured out that she wasn’t going to be in love, instead she would focus on her career.
Sounds great to me, what’s the problem?
The problem was he felt guilty. Apparently really guilty. So guilty that he stopped talking to me.
I was (and still am) crushed. I know it was only a few dates, but damn! Why’d it have to end because of that? It made me upset; I felt like I wasn’t enough to get him to push his ex from his mind. I felt sad that something good was ending and I couldn’t do anything to stop it.
And I felt mad at his ex for making him feel bad. An entire coast away, and she ruined it.
I’ve gone back and forth in mind with different scenarios — if he called, what would I say? Would he apologize and want to make it right? Or would he give me the “It’s not you, it’s me” speech?
I can’t judge. I’ve got exes, too. Bad ones. And if I saw them, talked to them (that would never happen), then I’d probably lose my shit for a few days.
But, I can only react to what has happened, and what’s happened is his ex. And then a whole bunch of quiet.
And in those times of quiet, I try to stay really, really busy, so that I don’t have time to think about it and so my hands stay busy to keep from texting those I shouldn’t.
It’s a bitch of a cycle.
And so, I decided to keep my Boston shot glass (for now) and any time someone comes to my apartment because their guy or girl pissed them off, they MUST take a shot from it.
It’s not the outcome I hoped for, but I’ll deal with the one I got.
Posted on June 3, 2014, in The Squeeze and tagged alcoholic, Boston, breakup, breakup guide, college, dating, drinking, ex boyfriends, fighting, first date, heartbreak, Holly A. Phillips, How to Make Lemonade, life, love, relationships, sex, single, The Bitter Lemon, twenty-something, young love. Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.