The meet up.

Although we decided to meet at a coffee shop at 4:30, I showed up an hour early.

This is just the kind of person I am.

I am incredibly paranoid about being late. I hate it. And 2., I wanted to avoid that whole, “Lost puppy look” as I was searching the coffee shop for this person I’d only seen online.

So I got there, ordered a macchiatto, found a spot, and opened my book.

Around 4:15, I messaged The Tall Guy saying I was wearing a blue shirt, and that I was sitting in the back. He replied saying he was on his way, and that he was wearing a green shirt.


When he arrived and got his coffee, he approached me and we had a friendly hello. As we moved to a better table, I was pleasantly surprised to see that he was indeed more attractive in-person than his pictures on Match led me to believe.

And there we were. Sitting and talking about random things—exercise, sports, television shows, roommates, life in Baton Rouge, meeting people, online dating, work…

Before I knew it, almost three hours had passed; our coffees drained.

“Well, should we get going?” he asked.

I nodded.

He walked me to my car, and gave me a hug goodbye.

When I got home, I sent him a message saying it was nice meeting him.

He responded quickly:

“It was nice meeting you, too. But I want to be clear, I’m only interested in you as a friend.”


It was a part of that I hadn’t even considered: rejection.

It wasn’t even as if I was sitting there, thinking I was about to marry Mr. Tall Guy, however, I wondered what I did to turn him off so-quickly?

As much as I hate writing this, I’ve always thought of myself as a person who can make decent conversation with almost anyone…so, did I say something wrong? Were my conversation skills subpar?

The questions boiled up inside of me.

Did he think I was a ditz? Is it because I don’t own a mountain bike? Was it my outfit? Were my thighs too big?


I gave myself the night to mope, and told myself not to worry, it was only one person, the FIRST person I’d met on Match, for that matter.

The next day, I emailed The Photographer and asked him if he was going to be back in town soon, because I’d like to meet.

He responded later that day, saying he would be in town soon, and would love to meet.

So I gave him my number and said I was looking forward to it.

I never heard from him.



  1. anothersinglegirl

    This happens quite frequently with online dating. I had a guy ask for my number, constantly text me, never made plans to meet up and then eventually I stopped responding to him. Another guy I went out with, had a great time, and he texted me immediately when he got home. He was flirtatious and I was excited, but then he said he had to go offshore for weeks and would text me still, but continually made less and less effort. I asked myself the same questions — what did I do wrong? — and in hindsight, nothing. He led me on. I don’t understand the point of that. At least Tall Guy was upfront with you..

    So trust me; it’s not you.

  2. thebitterlemon

    It’s comforting to know I’m not the only one this has happened to, although I wish it didn’t happen! I suppose just with dating in general, there won’t always be a spark, or people won’t always be honest. Plus, with online dating, I suppose it’s smart to take into consideration that you might be dealing with people who are more interested in just that—being online and not in-person. -H

  3. Debbie

    Sorry, but I’m glad to hear it hear it’s happening to others, too! I get around 5 to 10 flirts and messages a day, but as soon as I respond, “Hi, how are you doing tonight” they never reply back. It’s like a video game to some I think–they just like to rattle the cages to see if anybody’s there and then they’re scared off BECAUSE SOMETHING IN THE CAGE MOVED OR THEY’RE MARRIED, INVOLVED OR JUST PLAIN UNAVAILABLE. Keep your chin up–at least you’re getting out there and not giving up AND you’re honing your date-night conversation skills. Kermit’s “somewhere out there” waiting… :O)

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