‘Mariah’s World’: We Belong Together.

THe last curtain call.
The last curtain call.

I am feeling so refreshed after a nice long-feeling weekend, although I did spend a lot of time on Twitter when I probably shouldn’t have.

But, at last! We’ve reached it to the finale of “Mariah’s World”, a day I never thought would come, as it has been a long, fake journey that we’ve followed Mariah on, and here, 8 hours of edited footage later, we know nothing more than what we did before about her: she’s a diva, has a worthless staff, and she split from James Packer.

So, let’s get to the episode! It’s a few days before the last stop on the tour, and the team is trying to find ways for Tanaka to earn his keep since he’s still on tour, but cannot dance. So, he’s serving as a co-creative director, which I’m sure makes the actual creative director really thrilled.

Mariah takes her kids on safari, in full on stripper heels because she doesn’t “own flats”.

Before the last show, Mariah starts thinking about what she’s going to do next – she says she wants to spend more time with her children and get back into the studio to create. The last show goes flawlessly, and at the end of it, the staff is pretty emotional.

Tanaka mentions something to Anthony (the creative director) about “co-creating” with him, and Anthony sort of rolls his eyes and looks the other way. When Tanaka asks Stella about it, Stella confirms that they haven’t told Anthony about it. Oh, awesome.

Later, Stella shows up at Mariah’s house, saying there are three options for dates for the wedding, but Mariah isn’t available on any of them. It is my understanding that these dates are coming from the prenuptial agreement? I have no idea how any of that works, but it creates this awkward scene where Mariah and Stella are just sort of staring at each other and there’s no mention of James, or calling him, and Stella is all, “Well the universe has plot twists”…

Like I hope I haven’t watched this damn show for two months to be told the break up was caused by THE UNIVERSE.

A few days later, Mariah heads into the studio to do some writing and recording. And then the team heads to Mishka’s birthday party. She’s Stella’s daughter, who is 12, and serves as Mariah’s social media manager. I cannot and will not get over this.

Please note, the party is very similar to any of the ones you saw years ago on MTV’s “My Sweet Sixteen”.

Mariah and Tanaka head out for a walk and end up in this little gazebo thing, and they’re practicing a dance life (uh, isn’t he still injured, or is this a scene they shot later and filled in?). They are sort of slow dancing, and he’s telling her she looks beautiful… and then he’s like, “Are you really going to marry this guy?”

He tells her he just wants her to be happy, and she says some sort of weird rambling thing about how she doesn’t really know what that means, and maybe happiness is different for everyone.

Later, there’s a team meeting where Anthony finds out he’s got a co-creator. And, he’s pissed. But he’s a professional and agrees, the show must go on.

Mariah has a later performance (they don’t say how much later) in Hawaii, and she spends a little time in the studio beforehand. She sings a song she’s just written and it’s about not getting the love you deserve. Stella overhears the song and also notices Mariah left her engagement ring in the booth… mmhmm.

They have a short talk about how Mariah just “can’t do this”, but they don’t reveal any details.

The show in Hawaii goes perfectly, and Tanaka is back on the stage, recovered from his injury.

At the end of the episode, Mariah is on the beach at sunset, and here comes Tanaka, all tan and shirtless, and they kiss on the beach… it can’t be real.

And that’s the end!

I don’t know how much you, the readers, enjoy these TV recaps, but I have hopes of being a TV show reviewer someday, so I’ve got to keep practicing. The next show I’ll be recapping is also on E! (swear they’re not paying me), called “So Cosmo”.

This reality show followers ACTUAL staff members at “Cosmopolitan” magazine, including the Editor-in-Chief, and shows us what it’s like to work there. E! has been showing a “Meet the Cast” extended preview of the show for a few weeks, and it looks pretty entertaining, to say the least. Here’s the official trailer:

Uhh, talk about THIS IS THE BEST IDEA FOR A TELEVISION SHOW, EVER. I would d-i-e to work at “Cosmopolitan”, and this is probably the closest chance I’ll get. “So Cosmo” premiers next Wednesday on E! at 7pm CST.

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