Matthew Sanchelli is a self-proclaimed “nice guy,” and apparently, something worked, because he’s engaged to be married, and is all up in the wedding planning, right along with his bride-to-be!
Matt, and his fiancee Becca, met online (gives me hope!), and eventually met in-person at a dog park — aww! Check out their joint blog, Love At The Dog Park, which is all about their journey to the altar. But for now, Matt has something to say…
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After getting engaged, one of the first things Becca and I did was go to a used book store in the hopes of finding some advice on planning the type of wedding we wanted.
She had relatively no problem finding books with worthwhile advice targeted toward the bride.
Sadly, most books I came across were severely lacking the worthwhile portion of advice geared toward the groom. The vast majority had the same general condescending, and insulting, theme on how to survive the wedding planning process; or even the wedding day itself. There were even a couple that went as far as providing steps that could be taken to avoid as much responsibility during the planning as possible.
Weddings are stressful. Planning them can be a giant pain-in-the-ass or emotional drain. They can cause financial distress. Family jealousy. Frustration. This I understand. BUT I can guarantee you two things:
No matter how stressful it gets I will not have lost sight that I’m planning my. fucking. wedding. This is exciting to me.
The wedding day is not something I need to survive. I’m looking forward to it just as much as my future wife.
For me, it’s annoying [irritating] that it still seems to be the societal “norm” to perpetuate the impression that not only will the bride inevitably doing most of the planning between the two of them, but that the groom will want almost no part of that process whatsoever.
Over the last 12 years I have been to probably 30-40 weddings; which could be a conservative estimate. Up until the last year, most of those were as a vendor, shooting the wedding video, rather than being just a guest. When you’re working a wedding from the perspective behind a camera lens you tend to take notice of the details. You easily take a mental note of what you like, of what works, and what doesn’t work.
Needless to say that long before being engaged, and even before having met Becca, I had some ideas about my own wedding. To name a few:
More variety for dessert. Many weddings are moving away from HUGE, multi-tiered wedding cakes. Numerous flavor combinations of smaller cakes, or cupcakes, are very popular; but I’ve even seen success with cookie platters and pies.
Cream cheese wedding mints are a MUST. This is my wedding crack.
No ‘Dollar Dance’. As a wedding guest I’ve typically despised this part of the reception. I’ve only participated in one once since becoming an adult and that was for one of my best friends from college.
Limited amount of posed photos. My ideal percentage of formal posed photos is no more than 20% of the pictures taken.
Groom POV video during the beginning of the ceremony. Because I wanted to be able to relive the moment over and over again, exactly as I saw it that very day, until the day I die.
Since the planning began back in February, Becca and I have been a unified front making decisions together. She’s even been a bit surprised when I had opinions about her wedding dress and even the bridesmaid dresses. Both things I concede she has ultimate final say in regardless of my thoughts, but at least I know I have a voice that she’s willing to hear.
So…here’s my final advice for those readers who are in the midst of planning their “perfect wedding.” Ladies, let your future husband know you value his thoughts/opinions, and that he matters. Guys, don’t be afraid to speak up if you have an idea, or something you want.
Ultimately, for the both of you, remember that your wedding day isn’t for just the bride, or just the groom, it’s for BOTH of you. I mean, it’s because the two of you are together that there’s even a wedding… right?