Return of the Ex.

This year has been “The Year of Holly’s Past,” and if you have read any of this blog, you know that my past, when it comes to dating, is not anything to be proud of.

Before the start of 2014, my ex contacted me via email. This ex isn’t my most-recent ex, but one that made a massive impact on my heart, on my life. He was emailing me to say that he was moving to Chicago (from New Orleans) for 3 months because of work.

I wasn’t sure why he was telling me. When I asked him, he said the city of Chicago reminded him of me. My heart softened for a few seconds before I remembered all he put me through. Then, I simply wished the Polar Vortex would freeze his balls.

Closer to the start of the New Year, I was at the grocery buying cat food and a frozen pizza, when I saw the ONE guy I met on (we talked for 3 hours over coffee, hugged goodbye, and then he texted me to say he wasn’t interested) looking at yogurt.

I promptly did an about-face and ran to the checkout aisle.

Now, weird shit like this always happens to me. After all, this is why I have a blog. However, even this series of events was starting to get a little crazy.

Once the New Year started, a guy I used to “talk to” sent me a text. It was so long ago, in fact, I didn’t understand how he even had my number or remembered me, for that matter.

I started telling my friends about what was happening to me, and of course, they were really enjoying it, wanting to know how many other men of my past were going to make their presence known.

I hoped it wasn’t anymore.

And then, I was in the mall, shopping for a new outfit, when someone from behind said, “Holly?” It was a male voice, and I knew it wasn’t going to be good.

I turned around to see a guy I went on one date with. Nearly two years ago, we had pizza, after he arrived 20 minutes late, and I’d ordered mine to-go. We split the check. And he sent me 37 consecutive text messages explaining that he was chivalrous and I was the one missing out.

“Heeeeyyy,” I was able to manage.

He, per usual, rambled on about himself, refusing to let me get a word in. I took a deep breath and told him I had to get going.

And that was that.

Truthfully, non of those run-ins with an ex were terrible—definitely could have been worse. But there is something to be said about an ex’s return into your life.

For me, depending on the relationship I had with that person, it makes me reflect on where I was at that point in my life. And considering the list of losers I’ve dated, it’s easy to say that I’ve been in some dark places.

But when you’re in it, you’re in it to win it. And I know I’ve always been whole-heartedly in. I am someone who always wants to move forward—I don’t want to let the past weigh me down. However, my past is something I am trying to solve, so I can close the door on it, and go into the future with a clean slate, or at least a feeling of one.

The only exes I haven’t seen this year are married, so I hope I don’t see them. Ever.


  1. Ashley Grammer

    So I run into the past every now and then. Most of the time I dream about these people some before I run into them. Anyways a run in I had with my ex fiancee was odd. It was in Target. We was working for Coke and stocking the pop. So I was shocked when I turned down the aisle and almost hit him with my cart. Like you a managed a heeeyyy as did he. I walked pasted him and grabbed my Pepsi and went on my way. (Grabbing the Pepsi felt so good. Lol!) I ran into my ex (the one I dated before my husband-so my last ex) also at Target. He had started seeing someone before breaking up with me. I called him out on it when he dumped me and lied to my face. Anyways I said hi because thats what the bigger person does. He couldn’t even look me in the eye. This was three to four years later. My advice to you is…the next ex you run into smile bright and say hi. Wish them well and walk on. Don’t even give them another thought. They are in your past for a reason.

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