#tb: words of wisdom.

The following was written in 2010; nothing has been changed. Like what you’ve read? Enjoy my #tb (throwback) blog series as I count down the days until my second book, How to Make Lemonade, is released on December 2nd!


Saturday, April 24, 2010

Today is the day I am to create my “Breakup Bible.” Remember all that great advice you guys (and ladies) gave me these past few days? I’m putting it to use. For my BB, I am going to make a list of all the things you said, print it and keep it with me wherever I go, so if I ever get the urge to call or text, or even if I just miss him…your words will lead me in the proper direction. 

So, I present to you…


  • “Cut off all communication for a good few months or more.”
  • “While more space and loneliness doesn’t feel great, we’re all here keeping you company.”
  • “I think he is a wimp and needs to figure out what he wants.”
  • “This will indeed make you a stronger woman for your next mission, no matter what it will be.”
  • “Don’t settle for half a boyfriend. In that case, he’s just a boy or just a friend.”
  • “Hate him? Probably not, but remember he did lie about how he was feeling for you and you don’t deserve that. No one does.”
  • “You are truly a very special person and any guy would be lucky to have you in his life.”
  • “You were out of his league anyway.”
  • “You too will laugh about your relationship one day.”
  • “Any man that will hurt you once will hurt you again…a broken heart does recover and moves on.”
  • “A few months from now, you may have no desire to talk to him.”
  • “You’re cute. You’ll find someone else.”
  • “All the other emotions connected to him will start to fade.”
  • “Seriously, he doesn’t deserve you.”
  • “Trust me when I say Mr. Right is out there.”
  • “Boys are stupid.” 
  • “I do think that everything happens for a reason and this is just one of those things along the way that will get you where you’re going and to who you’re going to end up with.”
  • “Invest in yourself. No one can make you happy but you.”
  • “It’s not the person you miss, it’s the future you thought you had.” 
  • “Men are assholes.” 
  • “Don’t feel sorry for yourself. Celebrate yourself.” 
  • “Start planning and working toward a new future—one that makes you happy.”
  • “The silver lining might be that you found out now instead of years from now. Time to start living for H.”
  • “You are a strong woman and you will find the right guy when the time is right.”
  • “He’s not good enough for you!”
  • “These guys are bastards.” 
  • “He had it easy with you, he doesn’t realize that…yet!”
  • Embrace every facet of who you are. Before you know it, this will all be a part of your past, and we don’t look to the past, we look to the future!”

Recognize your words? Although it sounds like an Oscar acceptance speech, your advice literally made Day 3 awesome! Your words made me laugh and made me realize how much other things I have going for me. When I start to get sad, I know I can turn to this for support. 

Thank you, thank you, thank you for your great advice. I hope you’re getting as much out of this as I am. You are—Lindsey, Heather, my mom Anna, my uncle Joe, Todd, Ashley, Josh, my dad Steve, Charlotte, Rachel, Angela, Sheena boobie, Will, Lakeitcha, Neal, and my uncle Ben. I love you all!


Sunday, April 25, 2010

I am really happy to see the sun shining on Day 4—because Day 2 and 3…were a little rocky (thank you Breakup Bible). The weird thing about losing someone, in a breakup or otherwise, is the mix of emotions—the ebb and flow if you will.

One minute I feel great, the next minute I think my ex is a huge tool, and an hour later, I’m sad. The weekend has been difficult; I don’t know what he’s doing (or rather who he is doing). But hey, that’s part of it, and eventually I won’t give two shits about it.

Don’t for one second think that I sat on my ass and moped this weekend! Yesterday, I whipped up a few things for my Day 4 assignment. I would be lying if I said The Hills marathon didn’t keep me a little company, too (don’t fret, I will still be doing The Hills recaps beginning Wednesday). I love a good laugh—stupid slut Jen Bunny. Anywaaaayyy…

Then, I went to dinner and Corks N’ Canvas with Nicole and some of her coworkers—I’m no Picasso, but I think the painting looks pretty good this time (I guess I am hungover). Afterward, Nicole and her boyfriend Ben (shoutout!) promptly treated me to wine, and many glasses of it.

It was my first proper drinking sesh since this whole debacle started—I was a little worried, but I made it just fine, and I NEEDED it! If you’re wondering if I’ve talked to him, fear not my friends, I haven’t. I have a feeling all of you would hang me if I did such a thing.

Ok now we have to get down to the biz—it’s Day 4, kids! On Day 4, my assignment is to “Get a Drink (or six)” with girlfriends. Hallelujah! So as I proceed to get wasted, and probably hate my life, my girlfriends are supposed to tell me it’s going to be okay.

I invited some friends to the pool today to get the party started right. After that, I invited my newly single friend over to watch trashy television (Minute to Win It and Celebrity Apprentice), eat good food, and of course drink (The Frisky says I have to).

Tonight’s menu includes all those treats I whipped up yesterday, such as turkey meatballs with tomato and garlic sauce and Greek yogurt dip (cumin, cilantro, cucumber, hot sauce, garlic) and spicy whole wheat chips (yes, even the chips I prepared myself). The drink special? Sweet tea vodka.

Bring. It. On. Bitches.

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