the final days.

Truthfully, after I met the Tall Guy and didn’t hear from anyone else, I was pretty much ready for my 30 days of Match to be over.

I reached out to 4-5 more guys that I found interesting and never heard back from them.

As much as I tried to tell myself that it wasn’t me, that I wasn’t doing anything wrong, it was tough to keep my spirits up.

So, I invited a guy friend of mine to take a look at my profile, get his opinion, and see if there was anything I could fix or improve.

He thought my profile was alright, so he looked at my Favorites list to see the guys I was interested in.

“No…no….no,” he said, clicking through them. “This one is using his kid to get chicks! NO! Were you drunk when you picked these dudes?”


While I wasn’t banking on Match to set me up with a husband, I was expecting to meet more than one person and at least go on one or two (let’s not get ahead of ourselves) first dates.

Some people told me that 30 days wasn’t enough of a shot. And I see what they are saying, but truthfully, it takes up a lot of time…and you get lots of notifications. It can be overwhelming.

So, on August 31st, I cancelled my subscription to

I wasn’t sad about it.

I had basically paid $35 to get rejected via emails and text messages. Never thought I’d say that.

Unless you say otherwise, Match keeps your profile online and other users can still send you winks and emails.

The catch is, you can’t see who sends you the emails or what they say—unless you resubscribe.


Since I cancelled my subscription, I’ve received 28 emails.

Oh really, Match? How funny. Because when I was active on the site, no one wanted to even look at me, yet now they all come running.

Grass is greener syndrome, or marketing ploy? You decide.

I’m absolutely not completely turned off from online dating—it’s very likely that I will give a different site a chance in the coming months.

My conclusion about online dating is this: just like in your day-to-day life, there’s going to be lots of people you probably don’t want to have anything to do with, for whatever reason.

However, it’s an acceptable tool to meet people, go on dates, and if you’re really lucky, find someone to spend the rest of your life with, offline.


  1. The DC Soapbox

    I appreciate that you’ve tried match. You and I have discussed online dating in the past and I’m glad you went for it.
    I sympathize with your feelings about rejection via That was the most difficult thing for me to learn to deal with. I also asked myself, “What’s wrong with me/my profile/my messages that these women don’t want to respond?” and “Why does getting digitally rejected by someone I don’t know and have never met feel just as bad as being rejected in real life by a person I’m interested in?”
    You write in your conclusion, “just like in your day-to-day life, there’s going to be lots of people you probably don’t want to have anything to do with, for whatever reason.” This was exactly the same conclusion I came to, though with a different conclusion. This realization made me re-calibrate my emotional state concerning rejection and actually became a source of confidence for me. I don’t feel badly when I don’t click with a woman I’ve met at a happy hour or at the gym- if things worked out every time, they’d also work out none of the time- so why did I get so invested in women who’s profiles and pictures I was attracted to?
    I joined for a reason and that reason didn’t change just because of how many women I interacted with. I still wanted to find someone intelligent, fun, and attractive to build a potential relationship with- but if a relationship isn’t in the cards- at least have fun while I’m at it. I wouldn’t begin to assume your reasons for joining, but I do think that a month isn’t quite long enough to get used to using it. It can be a roller-coaster at first- like everything that is new and vulnerable- but the more you learn to weed through, the easier it’ll be. You can also turn off all the notifications to make it more of a ‘when I have time’ kind of thing.

  2. Charlotte | livingwellonthecheap

    I wonder, is it possible that all the guys who never emailed you back have ended their subscriptions, and can’t see their emails unless they pay? Maybe they never saw them. Or maybe they’re just douchebags. I lol’d at you picking them when drunk!

    1. thebitterlemon

      Ha! There IS a chance the guys I emailed deactivated, although when an account is deactivated, it’s a different color so you know (at least I’ve seen some like that), so I’m not 100% sure. Although I don’t consider myself a shy person, I was a little nervous about making the first moves, even on Match—so a little glass (okay, a bottle) of wine never hurt anyone! -H

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