Yesterday, I started the oh-so-fun task of cleaning out my work email account, as we are going through a program migration tomorrow. So that left me to sort through a solid 7,000 emails in attempts to start fresh.
Things were going as great as they could be considering the circumstances when I started clicking through my “Sent Items.” There, to my dismay, were emails I sent to my ex, years ago.
I sorted through them as quick as I could, but paused at the site of a few pictures—us out one night, us on the couch one night—and I looked really happy. But looking at those emails made me really sad.
Not sad in the sense of “oh I miss those times,” sad in the sense that now, years later, I’m still sorting through the hurt that the relationship caused. It’s not just some relationship I need to get over. It was years of mistrust and abuse.
Today, I know I am a stronger person. At least, stronger than the person writing those emails. I know I have a long way to go, and little emails are just a bump in the road on my journey to happiness.