Sent, inbox, trash, delete.
Yesterday, I started the oh-so-fun task of cleaning out my work email account, as we are going through a program migration tomorrow. So that left me to sort through a solid 7,000 emails in attempts to start fresh.
Things were going as great as they could be considering the circumstances when I started clicking through my “Sent Items.” There, to my dismay, were emails I sent to my ex, years ago.
I sorted through them as quick as I could, but paused at the site of a few pictures—us out one night, us on the couch one night—and I looked really happy. But looking at those emails made me really sad.
Not sad in the sense of “oh I miss those times,” sad in the sense that now, years later, I’m still sorting through the hurt that the relationship caused. It’s not just some relationship I need to get over. It was years of mistrust and abuse.
Today, I know I am a stronger person. At least, stronger than the person writing those emails. I know I have a long way to go, and little emails are just a bump in the road on my journey to happiness.
Posted on February 1, 2012, in The Squeeze and tagged dating, fighting, heartbreak, Holly A. Phillips, How to Make Lemonade, love, relationships, single, The Bitter Lemon, twenty-something, writing. Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.