You guys! I have been looking forward to the season 4 premier of “Southern Charm” for at least a month. And last night, it happened. Sorry March Madness, I have more important matters to tend to. Because of my excitement, I’ve decided “Southern Charm” will be my next series to review/recap each week – hope y’all enjoy!
At the kickoff of the episode, T-Rav brings Landon a rose and they go for a walk. He tells her the only thing he needs is a partner and they should just take a shot. WHAT!?!?!
Then it says, “3 Months Earlier”… and we’re cruising through Charleston with Cameron and Sheppy. Cam is headed to Craig’s house, and maybe we’ll see if he’s finally taken the bar exam. He is still dating Naomi, and she’s in school.
He says he did everything this summer to actually finish school and now he’s just waiting for the next exam date.
Back at T-Rav’s, he confirms that Katherine did fail a drug test (after allegations last season), so he has full custody of his children. He also says she hasn’t seen the kids in a “couple months” and she isn’t allowed to see them until she can pass a drug test (WHAT????).
Later, Shep is out with his new friend Austen, who looks just like him. They are talking about how Landon professed her love for Shep last season, and I guess it’s still a “thing”.
In Austen’s introduction, he basically wakes up, sends a chick on her way, admits he’s 29 and ready to mingle after a two-year relationship, and that he “actually” has a job… where he’s a rep for a beer company. But of course!
At Patricia’s, she’s completing a needlepoint of her dog, Chauncy. Whitney comes over for a drink and admits that he recently went to Tallum and smoked weed the entire time. Patricia easily turns the conversation to Katherine, because it has been reported that she’s in rehab for weed, cocaine, and opiates.
Meanwhile, Landon is paddle boarding and claims she’s been scarred with a scarlet letter and she was traveling to escape it (lawd).
At the stables, T-Rav is talking with a friend of Katherine’s (and his) and she says Katherine has been kicked out of where she was living, and had been sending “intoxicated” texts. WHAT? This episode is on fire.
Later, Cam and Shep are shopping, and they are talking about Craig as if he doesn’t have a job… so I’m not sure what happened with his bourbon job with JD? Shep has concluded that everything about Craig is a lie. Yeeeesh.
Craig and Naomi are headed to a party and they get a call from Katherine… which I realize is spelled Kathryn. Apologies.
She says she’s back in Charleston, living with her family. Craig says he’s happy to hear from Kathryn, but his life has been easier without her in it.
Landon is having a pool party, and as soon as Craig and Naomi arrive, he tells her they talked to Kathryn. And Landon is all, “We know the only reason she went to rehab in Malibu is to find a rich boyfriend… her next victim”.
DAMN.
…And then in walks Landon’s boyfriend.. and he’s 25 and pretty cute.
At the party, Shep pulls Naomi aside and asks her what Shep has been doing. He suggests maybe he becomes a chef or a carpenter, which seems to offend her. But he wants to know if Craig will ever really take the bar… but why does he care?
Then, talk of Kathryn seems to take over… and at the same time, Kathryn is loading herself into her Jeep and is headed to the party. Oh. Shit.
….And then of course, she rolls up to the medical center to take another drug test. Good play, Bravo.
That’s the end of the episode, but it shows the season preview, and wow does it look INSANE. And I cannot wait!
The Bitter Lemon 
SUPERB