Once a Cheater, Always a Cheater?
Posted by thebitterlemon
The first guy I fell in love with cheated on me. We were best friends before we started dating, but our relationship was long distance, and there were 15 hours between us.
We had a rocky breakup, and he coincidentally had a new girlfriend right afterward. They are married now, so good for them. A few years later, I dated a guy who was fresh out of a relationship.
Or so I thought.
He was actually dating someone else, too, and told me one evening over plates of spaghetti.
“What do you think of that?” he asked me.
“Of what?” I said.
“That I have a girlfriend,” he continued.
Sure, there were still pictures of them in his house, and a few of her things were in his bathroom. But I didn’t think they were still together — I thought it was just residual.
He broke up with her shortly afterward, and I really liked him (like, crazy liked him), but it was one of those moments when I realized… if he would dump her for me, then who would he dump me for?
He eventually dumped me, and got back with her, and then married someone entirely different.
I later dated someone who cheated on me for years; so you can see why I get so bitter sometimes. But once a cheater, always a cheater? I’m not so sure.
I hate to write people off; especially if it was years and years ago. However, I do think people that have cheated are wired to cheat. It’s either in your blood or it’s not.
But I don’t think a person who has cheated will cheat with every single person they are with. Will they cheat more than once with the same person? Probably.
In my experiences with cheating (nearly every serious relationship I’ve had involves a guy cheating on me), it’s an ego thing for the cheater — he/she needs an ego boost, as one person all over them just isn’t enough.
It’s sick, I know.
Cheating, for me, is relative, too. To me, it’s one thing if a person sleeps with someone one time. But… then there’s the other side of me that thinks, well, if I let him get away with it this time, then he’ll do it again.
But one thing is for sure, you can never stop someone from cheating. They’re going to do it, because that’s what they want to do — it doesn’t matter how pretty you are, how great in bed you are, or how much you cook dinner.
If he’s cheating, there’s no stopping him. It’s just a matter of you deciding if you’re going to put up with it or not.
Posted on July 14, 2014, in The Ingredients and tagged Adam, Austin, authors, breakup, breakups, cheating, college, college life, dating, eddie, ex boyfriends, fighting, heartbreak, Holly A. Phillips, How to Make Lemonade, liar, life, love, relationships, sex, The Bitter Lemon, twenty-something. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.