The Allure of Options.
They say, “When it rains, it pours,” and I’ve noticed this saying to be true when it comes to dating.
You get one date—you get five dates. You have one breakup—you get a string of let downs. And while the latter example certainly sucks, there’s something good to be said when it comes to having choices.
For one, it’s easy to compare.
I don’t mean to sound judgmental, but let’s say you go on a date with two different guys in a short amount of time (like a week or something)—it makes it really easy to see their differences and which one you like better, right? Well, unless they are eerily similar, then you’re screwed.
It’s been a long time since I’ve had options. Usually, when I’m experiencing the whole “rain” analogy, it’s a slew of weird things happening to me, or a consistent pattern of running into horrible ex-boyfriends.
What I have discovered recently though, is that good options don’t always come in the form of dates or boyfriends, or even people, really.
As I approach my one-year anniversary of being single (one month away!), I’m starting to see just how much my life has changed for the better since my last relationship.
The difference? I’m seeing the choices that I’ve got.
I had a bad date several months ago, and as I was walking back to my apartment once it was over, my breath shortened and I could feel an anxiety attack coming.
What was my problem?
I was terrified that jumping into a relationship that I didn’t feel was 200% right would take away my life, my options. I realized I’m no longer in a position where I needed a man.
Have I ever really needed a man? No. But I’ve often felt like I did.
But now, now I’ve got a bustling career, a life that’s important to me—an apartment I love, an active life, great friends—like I said, options.
Don’t have a guy? No problem.
And still it’s those options that made my decision, when it came to that bad date, really easy. Do I give up my spare time for another mediocre evening?
I’ll take a night at the gym, followed up with a batch of reality television, anytime.
Call me antisocial, but even these little options make me realize how full my life is already. If there’s someone out there to make it even better, then perfect, but if not, I know I’m going to be okay.
Posted on May 19, 2014, in The Ingredients and tagged alcoholic, breakup, breakups, dating, drinking, ex boyfriends, first date, heartbreak, Holly A. Phillips, How to Make Lemonade, humor, life, love, relationships, sex, single, The Bitter Lemon, writing. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.