Still drinking the metaphorical green juice for this Dating Detox from Denise Poteat. I know I’ve said it before, but even though I would not consider myself an active dater – reflecting on my past always does a number on me (this time for the better, I think). So, day 3, let’s get it!
Day 3 Challenge: Clean Your Pantry
Today is all about clearing out the junk you don’t need, ahem, like those 7 types of guys none of us should be dating. These types include, but are not limited to, The Narcissist (controlling, self-esteem thief, makes you question your own sense of intuition and self), Playboys (badass with moves in the bedroom), Players (physical, smooth talker), and Peter Pan (the guy who never really grows up).
Ew. I have dated ALL of these guys. And then Denise tosses out a checklist: “Have you ever dated a guy like this?”…
- He doesn’t have his ducks in a row financially
- He’s passive-aggressive, jealous, and needy
- He runs hot and cold in his feelings toward you
- He’s highly critical of your behavior and leaves you walking on eggshells
- He’s broken up with you more than once, so you never know where he stands
Let’s see… yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, and yes.
I hate myself.
Then she says, “What about the new boyfriend who claims to love you…”
- He communicates mostly by text message
- He never wants to listen to your needs
- He disappears for days at a time
- He never talks about a future
- He makes you feel bad about yourself – to the point you think you’re crazy
…YES, YES, YES, YES, YES.
Homework: Look at your past 3-4 relationships and share your biggest weakness.
Because of my ultimate fear of intimacy, I choose the men that are unavailable – whether it be because he has multiple girlfriends, too busy with work/school/friends, is an alcoholic – I always just use those as excuses as to why it’s not working. Aside from just not being there, these men have made me feel crazy, had me questioning my feelings, and sent me into tailspins. Looking back, it’s SO clear that every single guy I’ve dated (even the ones I just have crushes on) are unavailable in some way.