Dating Outside Your Type.
When I was 16, I had my palm read. The psychic told me I would end up with a guy who was tall and blonde, and he may even have the initials “J” and “S” (in any order).
In the last 14 years of dating, a majority of the guys I’ve fallen for have been short and dark-haired — the opposite of what I was told. Is that just my “type”?
Honestly, I’ve flattered myself a lot thinking that I’m the woman who dates all different types of men. I have a soft spot for your standard emo-punk guy, I love a jock, and I will lust after any man that looks half-decent in a suit.
When I worked retail, it was fantastic to get a cute guy in the store. I recall drooling over many men who would try on plaid shirts and ask for my opinion.
Removing buttons of said plaid shirts with my teeth would be the next step in my retail fantasy, but I’ll stay on topic.
One of my coworkers merely said, “oh, he’s cute, but he’s not my type,” when one of the plaid suitors left the store.
Huh? If he’s cute, why not date outside your type? How does a person even really know their type?
Well, I started with Google and I took the Dating Persona Test from OK Cupid, of course!
After answering about 50 questions, including “Does living on a sailboat sound like a good idea?” (Yes) and “Have you done a lot of kinky sh*t?” (depends on your definition of “kinky”), I had my answer.
It says I’m a Deliberate Gentle Love Master, or “The Maid of Honor.”
It really didn’t say much about the type of guy I should be looking to date. My male counter-type, “The Gentleman,” is said to be steady, mature, marriage material, yet also a “male slut.”
Well, this is just a bowl of cherries (insert Demi Lovato bisexual reference here).
My real beef with dating within your type is, how do you know if that type is even the right type for you? What if you’re ignoring an entire world of men or women simply because they’re not your type?
According to an article on Oxygen.com, dating within your type is extremely limiting, as you could be passing up a person who’s a perfect match.
Not to mention that whole opposites attract thing, and the idea that differences within a relationship can lead to really great things.
Of course, there are boundaries here. If the men of my past were my type, then my type is a cheating liar, who’s got a knack for manipulation.
So, right off the bat, let’s put all of those traits in the “do not date if…” category.
If you’re only dating people based on superficial traits, that’s when you run into problems.
Okay, so maybe the guy or girl isn’t completely ripped or a billionaire. But what if they’re kind, fun, and great in bed?
There could be an entire awesome relationship waiting for you just because you’ve overlooked hair color or job title!
The most important part about dating outside your usual type, is that you could gain a completely new perspective.
With any new relationship, there’s always a chance you could get hurt. But learning something is always a good thing.
At the very least, you’ve met someone new, and you may learn a few things about yourself and your “type.”
Posted on October 14, 2015, in The Ingredients and tagged blog, dating, dating outside your type, dating type, Holly A. Phillips, iDigBR, life, love, OkCupid, online dating, relationships. Bookmark the permalink. 7 Comments.