It’s finally here. What some would call the most wonderful time of the year: football season is upon us.
What I’m about to admit is going to lock in my single status for the rest of my life, but here goes…
I’m not really a fan of football.
There, I said it. I’m a Yankee and I prefer hoops. But, I understand that football is a necessary evil of living in Baton Rouge.
Don’t get me wrong; a Saturday night in Death Valley is an experience like no other. And I always hope the Tigers win.
But during these months, any and nearly every male in this city is consumed with football.
So, whether you’re single or in a relationship, it’s time to accept reality, buckle down and have a game plan for surviving the next six months.
And yes, I know, there are lots (and lots) of women out there who love football just as much as the men do.
But for those of us who are on the struggle bus when it comes to the sport, there are ways to cope.
For starters, you’ve already got a team to root for — the Tigers — so you can start building your Game Day wardrobe.
Whether it’s for a night in the stadium, tailgating, or a house party, you’ll need plenty of purple and gold.
Next, find the good things about football. Personally, I like the fact that day drinking is not only accepted, it’s required. So, bring on the bloody Marys, cases of cheap beer, and the LSU Jell-O shots.
There are also the amazing spreads of food that go hand-in-hand with the drinks.
And finally, there are the hot guys — on and off the field.
The next step in surviving football season is (take a deep breath) attempting to learn the rules. I still don’t understand all of the rules and calls, but once you get the hang of it, the game gets a little more interesting.
Finally, if you really want to get into it, and perhaps earn a little cash, throw some money on it. Bet on it.
If I’ve learned one thing living here, you never bet against the Tigers.
Over the years, I’ve seen infamous eye rolls from women when their boyfriends or husbands mention “the game.”
But, we all have our passions. My passion isn’t football, but I love to cook. So, if I get invited to a tailgate, I’ll be there with homemade chili.
And what better way to get to a man’s heart, amiright?
I will say, though, that seeing a man get so into something (yes, even football) is pretty sexy.
Few things fuel men: sex, grilling, and sports. So, let’s roll with it.
If anything, football season is the kickoff for fall, hopes of cooler weather, and right around the corner are the holidays. It really is a great time of year.
So, fan or not, slap on your war paint (purple eyeliner), take a shot (homemade moonshine), and get in the game.
The chances are, you’ll meet someone new, and won’t you look so festive and cool knowing a few things about football?
That is what I call a touchdown with a two-point conversion. In other words, it’s a major score.