I spend a decent amount of time telling myself that it’s likely I’ll never get married. No, I’m not saying that to be dramatic, I just have this feeling that something different is in the cards for me.
Because of this, I’ve really never thought much about what it would be like to actually BE married. Of course, I’ve imagined it, but by now we all know my imagination gets a little wild.
But about a year ago, my mom came to visit and she was a guest on my podcast, Learning From Strangers. If you haven’t listened before, my cohost is a married (and very funny) guy, so I suggested him and my mom discuss marriage expectations. I would chime in when possible.
It turned out to be a pretty decent discussion. One thing my mom said really struck me: marriage is not a game changer. As in, it’s not a fairy tale that’s going to solve all of your problems.
It sounds like a no brainer, but I’ve been to several beautiful weddings over the years, and it’s easy to fall into that trap of thinking, “Oh, if I could just get a boyfriend/fiancé/husband… Then everything would be great.”
My mom’s statement really got me thinking about every day life – what mine is like now versus what it would be like if I were married.
Right now, my life is incredibly hectic. I get up around 5 every day, and I write or edit until I need to shower/get dressed for a meeting. By 5pm, I try to be at the gym, get a workout done, and head back home to edit and/or write until I’m too exhausted to make sense.
In a way, my life (while it doesn’t sound it) has luxuries in that everything I’m doing is directly for me. I really don’t even have to consider anyone else! Kind of weird when you really think about it.
But I know it’s a double-edged sword, and that if I had someone else to consider, he would (presumably) consider me, too, and maybe he’d cook dinner for me or start a load of laundry, and in turn, we’d watch TV together or perhaps get more than 5 hours of sleep. Win-win.
On the podcast, we talked about lots of other expectations like cooking, cleaning, staying in shape, opinions on cats (!), laundry, singing, bathroom etiquette, and day drinking.
Here are my thoughts in a nutshell: yes, sorta, yes, YAS, meh, no, ugh, and yep.
But I’ve got to know about YOU, because I think a lot of my readers are married. What were your marriage expectations? Did marriage measure up, or even exceed them? What should a singleton like myself be thinking about when it comes to marriage expectations?
PS. I’m totally obsessed with this video, and I’d be lying if I didn’t spend a decent chuck of my Sunday night practicing the dance moves in it, whilst putting away the dishes and scrubbing my countertops. “I’m fresher than yooouuuuuu…” Because that’s what I can do as a singleton. #HoldThatCupLikeAlcohol
Posted on April 27, 2015, in Light Pulp and tagged boyfriend, cooking, divorce, engagement, ex, goals, Holly A. Phillips, love, marriage, marriage expectations, podcast, relationships, single, The Bitter Lemon, young love. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.