Seeing Red (Flags).

Living on the beach? Not a red flag.
Living on the beach? Not a red flag.

As a relationship columnist and blogger, sometimes it’s a little embarrassing to admit all of my stories when it comes to dating the wrong guys. While I have dozens (okay, maybe hundreds) of stories, what it really boils down to is ignoring red flags, especially before things get serious.

It’s something that I’ve really been working on, especially in this last year that I’ve been single. If you’re in the same boat as I am, maybe my list of red flags will help you out. If you have any others that I’ve missed, don’t hesitate to leave a comment or Tweet me @OrangeJulius7 

RED FLAGS: WHEN YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER…

  • Expects you to do everything
  • Cannot apologize
  • Doesn’t introduce you to friends, family
  • Is not good at communicating
  • Talks down to you
  • Has a mean sense of humor
  • Wants to change you
  • Mentions sex early in the relationship
  • Doesn’t make you feel special
  • Gushes about someone else
  • Is secretive with his phone
  • Doesn’t fight fair
  • Is lazy in bed
  • Is a stage-5 clinger
  • Is never around when you really need them
  • Doesn’t share personal details
  • Uses texting as a main source of communication
  • Needs to go out every single weekend
  • Still talks to The Ex
  • Does drugs
  • Never has any money
  • Can’t remember conversations you’ve shared
  • Changes his/her story

In previous relationships, when one (or several) of red flags would appear, I didn’t think of them as detrimental. I figured, “Oh, boys will be boys,” or that eventually, things would change. But, they didn’t and then I was left feeling like a fool.

In my last relationship, it got on my nerves how much my then-boyfriend was on his phone. He would text during dinner dates and movies. When I asked him what that was about, or who he was texting, he would always say it was work. He also always had his phone with him (even in the bathroom) and had a password on it (he told me it was so his coworkers wouldn’t mess with it). But when I found out he was cheating on me the whole relationship, I wished I would have pressed further and connected the dots sooner.

Of course, every relationship is different, so the red flags might not match my list. In general, I think following your gut is the key to finding any red flags.

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