Happy Valentine’s Day! As this day crept closer and closer, I wondered if I should even address it here or not. But, I am in the midst of teaching a round of my Blogging for Beginner’s course at UT, and it is in these times that I often have to come clean about this blog: it’s a place I used to write about my attempts at dating and the awful heartbreaks that came with them.
This little corner of the Internet has changed a lot in the last few years because I reached a point where I realized dating was just too damn toxic. I was a serial dater, I always had a crush on someone, and the sad truth of it all was that I didn’t care enough about myself to pick someone worthwhile.
So I ended up in unhealthy situations — some of them are things many 20-somethings do — and others were a result of how I was raised, my low self-esteem and the general pressure of finding a mate in time to get married and have children.
Sprinkled among the dumpster fire of my dating life were all of the Valentine’s Days. I made SUUUUUCH a big deal about them. If I was dating someone, and he didn’t acknowledge it (which always happened), then I would sit at home and sulk in a sea of sugar and tears. If I was single (been there many times), I’d feel really left out and less-than; I felt like I wasn’t good enough.
And why? That’s ridiculous! A few years ago, I started looking at Valentine’s Day as a reminder of how far I’ve come. I know my worth, I know what I deserve and I’m truly happy living life as a singleton. My life has so much more value than I’ve ever felt before. So, for a few years, I made Valentines for my friends and sent them gifts.
This year, I don’t feel any which-way about it, but I am planning to celebrate in my own way all weekend! Why not? If you’re single, or maybe you just need a lil boost, I’ve got 7 ways you can spend Valentine’s Day… without breaking the bank and without feeling like shit.
Channel The Modern Woman Spirit
If you follow Tanya Rad (Co-Host of On Air with Ryan Seacrest), you’re familiar with “Raditude” or modern woman energy. In Tanya’s words, a modern woman is someone who makes her own rules, follows the beat of her own drum, doesn’t wait for life to happen, doesn’t settle…you get it.
You can channel this energy ANY day, but on a day like Valentine’s Day, I say do not think you can’t get a nice dinner, have flowers or chocolate… get it all for yourself! One year, my best friend and I ordered each other flowers and had them sent to our offices so we wouldn’t feel left out. If none of that interests you, take today to do something you’ve always wanted to do. Why not?
It’s the perfect time to have an at-home spa moment. Grab all of the sheet masks, lotion socks, lip scrubs, sunless tanner, and bubble bath and make it happen. Maybe you invite friends over, maybe you even make some cucumber water, or perhaps you prop yourself up in bed while your nails dry and watch old episodes of “Gossip Girl”.
While I regularly do face masks, I always enjoy a good at-home mani/pedi, especially if I carve out enough time to soak my feet and then let the paint dry all day so it won’t get messed up when I get into bed. If you’re really feeling fancy, dig out the glitter and jewels for some nail art. I also saw these festive nail ideas from Pure Wow that would be fun to try.
Turn Up The Music
I am a fan of turning on some music to put me in a good mood, or keep me there. I turn on music when I’m cleaning, cooking, or working on something that allows for some background noise. I especially LOVE to crank up some jams and dance around my apartment. My kitty Blanche really loves to get involved in this as well – ha!
It’s feeling like you hot enough to melt, yeah // Can’t trust no one, can’t even trust yourself yeah // And I love you, I don’t love nobody else, yeah // Tell them they can take that bullshit elsewhere // Self care, I’m treatin’ me right, yeah // Hell yeah, we gonna be alright — Mac Miller, Self Care
“Self Care” by Mac Miller is one of my recent favorites to jam to, and Justin Bieber dropped his new album “Changes” today, so there’s a 100% chance I’ll be blasting that on repeat this weekend. I love making playlists on Spotify, so if you’re looking for an Empowerment playlist, I’ve got one started (think: Aretha, Christina, Britney).
See What’s Cookin’
I’m not opposed to ordering takeout on a night like tonight, but why not whip up something new? I feel like none of us have the time (or make the time) to cook like we want to, or maybe you just hate to cook… but there’s something to be said about the entire process of it all: picking a recipe, heading to your favorite grocery store or farmers market, making a meal and then getting to enjoy it.
Maybe there’s a meal you’ve always wanted to make, or perhaps today is the day you’ll make a gluten-free chocolate cake. I bought ingredients to make Vegan Cauliflower Alfredo Pasta with Broccolini (recipe by This Savory Vegan) and got a bottle of wine to go with it. It looks so good!
Feel the Burn
Today is the perfect today to thank your body for all it has done and will do for you. Hit the gym, take a walk, get to that yoga class. Physical exercise is good for the body, of course, but it’s good for the mind, too. Because of the holiday, many gyms and fitness studios will likely have sales or special classes — take advantage of them!
I cannot tell you how much regular exercise has helped me mentally over the last few years. It also helps me gain confidence, and since I work from home, taking a dance class or a yoga class is a good way to help me structure my days and force myself away from my computer and into the outside world.
Share the Love
I cannot think of a better way to celebrate a day of love than by showing some love to a cause you care about. Whether it’s the local pet shelter, a political campaign, or a children’s hospital, find a way to show them some love today. A donation, a volunteer shift, knocking on doors — giving back and/or fighting the good fight not only helps others, but it’ll put you in good spirits. Plus, it could be a great way to meet people with similar interests.
Today, I’ll be making donations to a pet shelter and a home for women in need. Another thing you can do is look for businesses to support who also support the causes you care about. Something as small as buying your next book from a local store instead of a big box will help a small business owner.
Put on Lipstick
I know makeup isn’t everyone’s thing, but I love the stuff (maybe a lil too much). Because I work from home, I went for so long without putting on makeup. But over the last month, I have been trying to put it on daily because I like doing it, it’s fun, and it makes me feel good — plus, I love trying out different products and looks.
In fact, last night I gave myself a festive look after hunting down loose pink shimmer, hot pink lipstick and even a pink highlight in my at-home stash. I’ll list and link everything I used below.
So, even if you’re sitting at home today… or any day… dig out the lipstick you never wear. If makeup isn’t your thing, maybe it’s your favorite sweatshirt or a designer pair of slippers. It’s crazy how making one small change can make a big difference.
So, cheers to all the singletons out there no matter your journey. Make today YOURS!
Valentine’s Day makeup look: Laura Geller Spackle Primer // Colourpop coco loco lippie scrub // Too Faced Born This Way Foundation in Vanilla // ELF 16-hour camo concealer in shade Fair Beige // Tarte Shape Tape Glow Wand in Alight // Benefit Dandelion twinkle // Kylie setting powder in soft pink // Smashbox Bronze Lights in Warm Matte // IT brow powder in universal taupe // Colourpop brow boss gel // Covergirl exact eyelights in vivid greens // KAB Cosmetics BlushMeUp Cotton Candy // Too Faced Better Than Sex Waterproof Liquid Eyeliner in Deepest Black // Makeup Revolution Soph X Highligter Palette // Milani The Violet One Lash Primer // Ulta Bold Ambition Volumizing & Conditioning Mascara in Jet Black // Lipstick Queen lip in Bad Boy