Why are we okay with ‘Lemonade’?

Gurl, bye.
Gurl, bye.

Disclaimer: Beyonce annoys the piss out of me.

I think she’s overrated, has taken advantage of a lot of people to get where she is, and I’ve thought that from day one, her marriage to Jay-Z was a total sham.

But, ALL HAIL, right?

Riddle me this: why are we okay with the queen letting her king walk all over her?

I’ll be honest, I didn’t watch or listen to “Lemonade”. For starters, I do not believe that Beyonce was ever handed lemons. She has a life that many of us would dream of – of course from the outside. If she WERE handed lemons, I’m sure she’d drop them into the hands of a staff member and push them toward her kitchen, made of marble and gold.

When “Lemonade” was dropped, I heard all the chatter and rumors, and what I gathered was that, the things we all thought were true: Jay-Z cheated on Beyonce, many times, with many women. And she smashed shit with a baseball bat in an HBO exclusive.

…And then she forgave him, and now things are fine.

So, you’re telling me that Beyonce, the Queen of “Independant Women” lets her man act like that? Not only is she essentially fine with it, but there was no consequence – instead, she used it to make money and share it with the man who did the harm to begin with!

Huh? How is it possible that women everywhere idolize this person? Are those the values she’ll be teaching her daughter; that it’s okay for a man to run wild?

It’s come out that Beyonce didn’t write most of the songs on “Lemonade”, which is fine, as she doesn’t write most of her songs, ever. And many successful singers don’t, and I’m fine with it. But I do draw the line when you’re pretending to live it.

If you didn’t write the song, then don’t act like you did, ahem “Single Ladies”. Why was she acting high and mighty like she got a ring from Jay-Z? Because she didn’t (they agreed no rings) in the beginning.

So why are you preaching to women everywhere, to demand diamonds and committment from the men, when that’s not how you run your game?

Oh, because it’s catchy and it sells concert tickets. It sells a dream that you, too, can be an independant woman and get a man.

A man that will cheat on you and you’ll forgive him because you’re too weak to stand on your own off-stage.

The other thing that kills me about this, is that we’ll (meaning Beyonce fans, not me personally) stand by women like Beyonce and Rihanna when their men treat them poorly, publically, but we’ll publicly bash women like Hillary Clinton, who has stood by her man over the years after infidelity.

Is it because Hillary rocks the pantsuit and not a leotard? Is it because Jay-Z makes more than Bill Clinton? What is it?

I’m not saying one is better than the other, but it doesn’t add up for me. But don’t teach women to be independant, and then tell them to “cater to” their men – SURFBOARD – and then be weak when they screw you over in real life.

Beyonce is bullshit. #LiveYourTruth


  1. Sunny Lanning

    Everybody has their own standards, but for me infidelity is the unforgivable sin. I walked out of a ten year committed relationship–despite my family saying it was a “small” mistake, despite his family saying he was “sorry”, despite friends murmuring, “But what will you do now, in your thirties…” as if I my marketable goods were well past the sell-by date. I burned that bridge to the ground, and I have never looked back. And you know, my life is better than ever.

  2. Sahernandez

    I’m not a huge fan of Beyonce but the new album is great. There are a lot of layers to it and even though it’s not all Beyonce, the creative minds that put it together did a good job of it. Listening to it though, it’s not an album for me. A lot of interesting points are brought up including the way black women are treated. As for her staying with her man, I don’t know the dynamics of their relationship. She certainly has reached a point of success where she could leave his ass and never look back. Its her choice though. I think the album points that out, too. There are vulnerable moments but there are also moments that are empowering for women.

    1. thebitterlemon

      I’m sure the album is great, and that’s good for her and her team of writers and producers. I don’t think a woman should base her leaving a man on her level of success. There are women who have nothing but courage to leave a man who has mistreated her and create a path on her own. I also don’t care if Beyoncé stays with him or not; it is her choice, what I’m saying is that she preaches to be independent and women look up to her for that, but she’s not living it. So, how many women out there are being walked all over and saying, “Well maybe I can just forgive him…”

  3. samanthacalderone

    So, this seems to be just a personal rant about Beyonce, which whatever, it’s your personal blog, but seems strange, because you are reviewing an album that you admit that you didn’t listen to. I don’t actually care about Beyonce, so I’m not particularly biased. However, I think most celebrities have taken advantaged of people to get where they are. It’s her marriage, who cares what she does? It doesn’t affect you unless you really want it to. While I have no idea if Beyonce was legitimately “handed lemons,” I would objectively consider being cheated on by your husband a lemon in life, regardless of whether you are famous or not. Also, the phrase “lets her man act like that” is very demeaning, in general. No wife is actually responsible for her husband’s actions – they can either choose to put up with behaviors or not. I think most people can say that they have found themselves in a situation where they did not act the way they anticipated they would in life. Many artists take a situation that they were unhappy with and turn it into something else to help them deal with it, and sometimes that involves making money off of it – as a creative person who has clearly done the same thing by publishing a book, surely you can understand this. Sometimes people’s expression can be lucrative. There’s really zero way to know if it is actually true or not – and again, who cares? I am sure that there are several women in her position who find solace in her story, because it’s something that many people go through. I think there have been way more egregious acts of being a bad role model in the entertainment industry than just sticking by your cheating man – I know you’re a Bieber fan, but he factually has been arrested multiple times and is objectively not a good person to idolize either, if you are looking to celebrities for teaching values, like you do with Beyonce’s marriage.

    Like I said, I don’t care about Beyonce either way, and I know this is your place for creative expression, but it’d really strengthen your arguments if you were more consistent in your judgment. Hate Beyonce? Cool, that’s your choice, but maybe also examine the other celebrities that you tout as influences under the same microscope.
    So, why not be OK with Lemonade? It can give perspective and strength to people who might need it. Forgiveness is totally OK. Based on what you’ve written here, you have forgiven people for stuff because you loved them, too.

    1. thebitterlemon

      I really contemplated putting your comment right in the trash, because I don’t want to feed negativity, but it’s whatever – just like you said. I like how you reminded me several times that it is my blog, and it is my opinion, and honestly I don’t care if you agree with me or not. In fact, if you don’t appreciate what I have to say, then I’d personally like to invite you to stop reading it. I’ll start from the top: sure, maybe it is a personal rant about Beyonce, and it probably won’t be the last, because I don’t like her. And I do agree, there are probably lots of celebrities that have taken advantage of people to get where they are, but that doesn’t make it right, and it doesn’t mean we have to like them. And yes, you are SO right, what Beyonce does does not affect me at all, unless I want it to. However, as a woman, I am constantly looking for strong women that I can look up to and relate to. And Beyonce is a pop culture icon – there are millions (A true assumption) of women that look up to her, and I wish that Beyonce’s message to them was consistent. And yes, I would consider being cheated on by anyone a lemon – I have been cheated on a few times, and it sucks – but if she stayed with him, then I don’t think it bothered her that much. If it did, then why hasn’t she walked? I did not write “lets her man act like that” with the intention of being demeaning, so I do apologize if it came across that way. I do believe that we teach others how to treat us, and personally, I have always believed that if you put up with the way someone treats you, then they have no reason to change their actions. Again, like you said, this is my opinion. I think it’s great when people take bad things that have happened to them and turned them into great opportunities that make money. What I am saying is that the album benefitted Jay-Z as well, who is the dick in this case! I also don’t appreciate you using my creative endeavors against me. Yes, I’ve published four books, not one, but I have not made any money off of them. So please do not assume you know me, or that I have taken bad things that have happened to me and used them for financial gain. Publishing a book has been a dream of mine, end of story. You’re right, I’m sure there ARE women out there who’ve found solace in Beyonce’s story, and that is truly a great thing. I think it’s hilarious you brought up Bieber. You’re right, I absolutely LOVE him, and I always will. I never said Beyonce was the only celebrity fuck up around, so you can come correct on that. I have also NEVER, EVER said that Justin Bieber is a role model, for anyone. In fact, many artists that I love are not conventionally great people. If you read more of my blog, like you claimed to, then you would know that. There have been many times I’ve actually struggled with this, because I also love John Mayer and he’s not the greatest, I love Michael Jackson, too, and I love Any Winehouse. What I care about, is not whether or not an artist is a “good” person, but whether they live in their truth. Justin Bieber has come out many times to apologize and admit that he’s acted like a douche, as has John Mayer. So, thanks for researching that Bieber has “factually” been arrested. I already know that. And I am not looking for Justin Bieber to teach me values – which was pretty demeaning of you to tell me. I’m an adult woman, successful in my own right, and I don’t need YOU to point out where I should look for values. Where you are correct is that this is my place for creative expression; and I’m not looking for lessons in strengthening my arguments. I actually didn’t write it to be an argument. I would love for someone to come forward and say hey, I am ok with “Lemonade” for reasons X,Y,Z… and great! We are all inspired by different things and that is what makes this world a great place. I hope I am wrong here, and perhaps “Lemonade” is making women everywhere stronger than ever! I have also never said that forgiveness is not okay; though I will admit that I have a difficult time forgiving those that have wronged me, which is why I find it interesting that you claim to know who I’ve forgiven. Were you there? Can you name those instances? Because I am still working on those issues. But thanks for acting like you know me, that you know my relationships because you read this blog. Cute. Maybe if you have so much to say, and you’re so good on values, you should start your own blog.

      1. samanthacalderone

        I’m not sure why you are so defensive – I enjoy your blog, and appreciate your honesty about your feelings and relationship experiences. I appreciate that you approved it. It wasn’t a personal attack on you at all – the Bieber comparison is that he also is a role model for millions (I was not just referencing you), just like Beyonce. I know you like Bieber based on your posts, and it is also clear that you don’t see him or reference him as a personal place for values. It’s an example that it is totally valid to like someone’s music, regardless of your opinion of their personal life. And I hear you about an artist living their truth, whether it’s positive or negative. There’s no way to verify whether Lemonade is true or not.

        It’s not a stretch for me to reference when you’ve given forgiveness – this is based on what you write about. I didn’t claim to know who you have forgiven, just that you have done the act, which is great. You are so open about stuff, and I am not using your experiences against you. Thank you for your reply.

  4. greeneyes6267

    I’m going to pretend for a minute that you did not just tell everyone that you’re commenting on an album you did not listen to.

    Moving on: it is amazing to me that you would even purport to assess the value or accuracy of Beyonce’s album when you have not been in an serious relationship from what I glean for quite a long long time, have never been married, and air every last bit of your dirty laundry on a public blog. As someone who is married and has been with that person for more than a decade, I identified with every bit of that album’s expression that marriage is hard, anger is OK, and forgiveness is critical – even as a person who has not dealt with infidelity. Based on what I’ve read here, you could take some true life lessons from that album about what it takes to be in a relationship in real life – not just with some celebrity via snapchat. It takes all these things, as well as a serious degree of self awareness which, based on every entry here (especially your contact with the Apartment, Jesus) you are very much lacking.

    But also: reviewing an album you haven’t listened to: I cannot even.

    1. meccasanwick

      To be fair, I didn’t pick up and reference stating Holly was reviewing the album, or any of the songs within.

      From what I read this is a social commentary based on information she found indicating what Beyonce wanted this album to stand for, and the direct contrast between that statement and the personal choices that Beyonce has made in her own life.

      Sort of hypocritical of her if that’s the case. Do as I say, not as I do isn’t really the best way to be a role model.

      1. frances1738

        But how in the world does Holly know what Beyonce wanted this album to stand for if she refuses to listen to it? That’d be like me writing an opinion piece on Game of Thrones after not watching a single episode. It makes no sense.

      2. meccasanwick

        She wrote in this post:

        “When “Lemonade” was dropped, I heard all the chatter and rumors, and what I gathered was that, the things we all thought were true: Jay-Z cheated on Beyonce, many times, with many women. And she smashed shit with a baseball bat in an HBO exclusive.”

        This to me at least implies information was gathered from at least one source, if not many. Could she have mentioned a source? Perhaps. I’m sure if you ask she’ll be glad to respond.

        I haven’t listened to ‘Lemonade’, but I was able to do a quick Google search of ‘Beyonce HBO exclusive’ and came across an article which had the following statement from Tidel (her husband’s streaming service).

        ““Lemonade” is “based on every woman’s journey of self-knowledge and healing,” Tidal said in an announcement.”

        She could have read the same article. Heck, she could have watched the HBO special since it’s based on the music. I’d consider that a decent enough source to be able to write an opinion piece.

  5. thebitterlemon

    Whew! I had no idea people would be so excited to defend Beyonce, and while doing so, they would take out their personal attacks on me. This is so much fun! What the fuck do you want me to say? That yep, you guys are so right? I am so, so stupid for not listening to “Lemonade” and obsessing over a woman who is weak? Man, HOW have I lived this long without the advice of online trolls? Actually, maybe I should just kill myself. After all, I’m not self-aware, I only have relationships with celebrities via SnapChat, I don’t acknowledge every little bit of the stupid ass comments on my blog, I haven’t been married, and I don’t know anything! Why was I even born? Why do I have this blog? If only I would have listened to “Lemonade” maybe I would have deserved a chance in this world, in this life! The best part is, none of you have blogs. Fuck off.

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