Of Mice and Men.

There's a mouse in my house!

There’s a mouse in my house!

I was going to write about lies — how often we lie and why we do it, and of course, how it affects our relationships.

But as I type this, I’ve locked myself into my bedroom and am impatiently waiting to hear a victorious “snap!” of a mousetrap.

Let me explain.

I am expecting company this weekend, so I came home from work, ready to clean my apartment.

After awhile of sweeping and putting things away, I realized I hadn’t seen my cat in awhile.

I went into my bathroom, and she was in the bathroom closet, eyes locked on a corner.

I couldn’t see anything in the corner, but she was meowing at said corner.

I groaned, figuring it was a roach. So I took my broom handle and smacked on the wall to hopefully scare it out and start war.

But nothing happened.

My stomach dropped — if she wasn’t meowing at a roach, thenwhat?

And before I knew it, a decent-sized mouse came flying out of the closet, leaping for safety, as I ran sprinter-style into my living room, screaming bloody murder.

I sought refuge on my couch (standing on top of it) to call the only guy who could help me, my lifetime friend (who I also like to make out with).

“THERE’S A MOUSE IN MY APARTMENT!!” I screamed when he answered.

“I’m at the bowling alley, get a trap, I’ll call you later,” he said.

He lives in Indiana. Which certainly seemed like worlds away when I wished he could just do that guy thing and take care of the mouse without me having to freak out.

But I took his advice, and went to the nearest store, and bought their stock in mousetraps (the no-mess kind). I filled them with peanut butter, designed a maze of them in my laundry room (where the mouse was last seen), and am now locked in my bedroom.

My single status forces me to face my fears in situations such as these, when I’d really rather have a guy around.

But, the real question is why are women more afraid of mice, and spiders, or just more afraid in general?

It can’t just be a stereotype or a gender role, right?

Enter: Google.

Turns out, there really is science behind it.

The Daily Mail reported in 2014, that according to a study performed by McGill University, mice are more distressed by the scent of a man. This means, mice are more likely to confront a woman, especially when a man is not around.

So, now the mice are targeting single women (not part of the study). What the hell, mice?

Now I don’t feel as guilty about that alluring peanut butter right before Mr. Mouse approaches his death.

The fact of the matter is, the single life means you face a lot of things alone.

Some of those things are kind of nice, such as watching endless reruns of “Vanderpump Rules” or conducting an at-home spa day.

But other things, like dealing with intruders or facing the holidays, can be more difficult to walk solo.

The thing is, though, that at the end of the journey, you’re better because of it.

When you walk the road alone, having a partner at the end of it all is just the icing on the cake.

Or, in my case? It’s the snap on the mousetrap: victory, at last.

Sale alert! It’s the LAST day to download my 3rd book, Lemon Drops: Poems & Shorts, for just $.99 before it goes back up to its original price of $3.99 — get it while you can, loves! 

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Posted on December 2, 2015, in The Ingredients and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

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