Whew! These last few weeks (okay, more like MONTHS) have been really rough. If I continue to be honest with you, I have to admit that this has been the most difficult time of my life. I’m overwhelmed with so much confusion, and emotion — there are days I feel fine, some days I feel great, and other days, I barely leave my bed and I cry. A lot.
Last week, I was in a terrible mood and after a few days of wallowing in it, I knew it was time to get out of bed, do a few productive things, and find a way to cheer myself up. Money is incredibly tight right now, so my perks couldn’t be anything costly.
So, I scoured my apartment. My beautiful apartment that I’m starting to resent (because of the high rent), is actually full of luxury items I’ve purchased for myself over the years — things I never use because I’m always working, or perhaps, saving them for a rainy day. No better time to indulge than now, right?
I found a soy candle that smelled like pineapple, a full container of Wen Moist Hair Treatment, a mud mask, a repairing foot mask, some Mary Kay hand lotion, and I drug out my nail kit to give myself a complete mani and pedi (in preparation for a job interview I had Monday morning). And while pampering myself, I watched old DVDs of The Hills.
Aside from making me want to move to California, I did feel better. It didn’t hurt that I also found a sealed bottle of SkinnyGirl Margarita in my fridge. I felt a little renewed, and at least I was looking half-sane in preps for the upcoming interview. And it cost me nothing.
I STILL don’t have a clue what’s in store for me these next few months — I do know that something will change because I’m so not renewing my lease if I’m not in a better job situation. But, whatever change comes I’ll be there, and I’ll report it here, and I just have to be the best me I can be — even if that means I have to spend an entire Sunday slathering creams and masks all over me just to feel slightly less crazy.