#30

Birthday #25

2am visit to your house
High heels
Trench coat
Confetti cake
November cold

Kitchen table sex
Front yard cigarettes
A late night connection
Or confused confections

I fell for you
Fast
Mistook
Lust for love

Empty
Shot glasses
Cashed

Mansion in
College park
Stability
In
Secrets

A paved
Path I
Wish I
Could
Turn back

Birthday #26

Took her for
drinks
Took her
home
Took her
clothes
In front of me
Lied
In front of me

You
Were
Caught

Afternoon apologies
Morning toast
Midnight bottles
Back porch fortunes

I
Was
Lost

Birthday #27

A plus sign translates
To a negative

Jelly
Wax paper
Pills
Holding me up

Silence
From you
Carefree

In your
Cubicle world
Wood floor
Apartment
Miles
Away
From us

The lies
Stacked
Themselves

Cementing
Like bricks between us
Building
Cities
To keep us
Apart

Roads closed
Time gone
Decision done

Birthday #28

4am
She calls
You lie
I cry

Hate you
Love me

Vodka soda
Whiskey coke
Cigarette kiss
Neon lies

Everything
Is fake
Can’t see
Through
Your smoke
Your stories
Your life
Without
Me

Birthday #29

Call it quits
I’m at my wits
End

Leave
Give me the key

Convenient
End
On a Friday
Give her a call
Tell her you dropped the ball
And chain

One year away
From #30
Didn’t want
Vows
Didn’t want
Kids
Didn’t want
Me
To be
Forever

#30 meant
No more
Flings
No more
bar tabs
No more
lies
For fun

I was just
cake
on a birthday
Just bricks
In the city
Just a notch
on his bedpost
Just cash
At the clinic
Just 4 years
in a lifetime

So this year
Birthday #30

Wake up
Perfect bed
Sheets
Tangled
In lies
Hungover
From the
Hearts
you break

Paved driveway
Company car
Ironed shirt

Joining
A row
Of cubicles
Sitting
Ducks
Men
Who do the
Same
Men
Who are the
Same

When
A nameless
Face
Takes the bait

High heels
Trench coat
Confetti cake
November cold

Blow out
The candles
Make a wish
That karma
isn’t real
That fate
Will answer

Pray
For the lost ones

Hope that
#40
Is the new
#30