‘Siesta Key’: ‘Juliette’s Midsummer Dream’.

Ugh…

Clever, MTV, real clever with the Shakespeare titles… but YOU GUYS… this was the season finale! I had a hunch it might be, but when I checked the TV guide for the coming weeks, there’s not even repeat episodes on. MTV is dunzo!

Anyway, let’s get into it! The episode starts with Kelsey talking to her mom about what went down between Garrett and Juliette the night before (at Pauley Paul’s concert). Her mom acts concerned, but I know deep down, she probably gives zero shits because the entire reason Kelsey is IN Siesta Key is to help her and she really has done none of that. Just a guess…

Madisson goes to visit Alex at the boat dock and they take a ride and talk about the much-anticipated Julth 4th bash, but Alex is pretty worried about his school status. Alex also gives this weird monologue about how he respects the environment in the water and how important it is to preserve what they have… yet he was also caught shooting sharks?

Madisson asks if he’s going to invite Kelsey to his party; he says yes, but they have nothing in common. It’s a good thing she dumped Garrett for him! Madisson and Alex start going on and on about how great Siesta Key is, and Kelsey just doesn’t understand that since she wants to leave and go to New York. Le sigh.

Juliette is with some of her friends at the pool and she admits she started flirting with Garrett out of spite, but NOW she really likes him and she could see herself being with him. Literally, one of the girls just sits there and says “Exactly” about three times and she KNOWS she’s got her lines right. You go Glen Coco!

Across town, Pauley Paul stops by Chloe’s apartment to thank her for supporting his show the night before. He also offers up a seemingly genuine apology to her. He also says that every single day he looks for ways to better himself – LOLZ.

But Chloe keeps it real (she IS the Clapback Queen) and says she needs to remove toxic people from her life and unfortunately, Pauley Paul is toxic.

Alex is having a conversation with his mom in her closet. Really, she deserves a round of applause for this entire scene – her closet is impeccable, and she’s wearing this fringe cropped top while her hair is up in rollers. She asks Alex about Kelsey and she’s all, “I meant to ask you how your date went but I just hadn’t bumped into you yet.” #MansionProblems

Before the party, Juliette and Chloe are trying to figure out what swimsuits to wear. Chloe already has hers picked – a sheer one-piece that has stars over the nipples. LOVE. The gang shows up at Alex’s… but Garrett makes an entrance when he arrives late and Juliette does a “Baywatch”-style run to his side.

Garrett and Kelsey have an awkward conversation about what she’s been up to. He’s all like “My website launches this week”, and it’s super weird when she asks if the video he made with Juliette is going to be on it.

Later, Pauley Paul tells Chloe she looks like a beached whale. So she grabs her things and jumps in a car to head home.

No one knows why she left or where she went, until Amanda pipes up and makes it clear that Chloe left because of Pauley Paul’s fat jokes. Pauley Paul continues to call Chloe fat and the group tells him they’re sick of it.

On the beach, Alex makes it clear to Kelsey that he’s not interested in dating her. She agrees and is defensively like, “Uh, I’m not trying to date you either!” Hmm…

The next day, Alex and Madisson are picking up trash on the beach. “Gotta give back when you can,” Alex says. Yet another clearly fake scene set up by MTV to make Alex not seems like a horrible human. Alex asks Madisson if she ever could see them getting back together – he likes how well she gets along with his family. He literally says he wants to spend the rest of his life with her. Ha!

Later, Juliette talks to Garrett and he admits he’s still coping with baggage from Kelsey. Juliette says they need to stop “focusing on other people.” Then Brandon tells Madisson that he made a playlist of songs that remind him of her – and he busts out the Shawn Mendes like a baller. She tells him about what Alex said, and she also says she sees a better future with him (Brandon). Aww!

And THEN, Kelsey and Garrett meet… and they tell each other that they still love each other. Garrett asks if they should give it another shot…and then there’s this series of really dramatic scenes where Chloe is alone on the dock and she ignores a call from Pauley Paul, and then Juliette is alone floating in her pool, Garret is running alone, and Kelsey is walking on the beach alone… and then it says “Two months later…” with a shot of Alex completely banged up with a giant bandage on his head and then it says, “To be continued…”

SECOND SEASON!!!

But seriously, it’s been a little TOO much fun writing these recaps. I kind of ended up loving this show! I hope you enjoyed the recaps, too 🙂

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Posted on October 3, 2017, in Light Pulp. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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