Is it just me, or is this holiday season just FLYING by? I feel like everything is coming up so fast and I’ve got so much to do before it’s over!
Nonetheless, it all starts with putting up the Christmas tree, right? Yes. I think every year, that maybe THIS year, I won’t put up a tree. Because… it’s annoying. You’ve got to dig it out, put it together, untangle the lights, and slap on the ornaments in some sort of organized fashion.
It takes forever, and it never really looks the way you’d hoped, yet we do it year after year without question. Well, my mom acted like I was crazy for not wanting to put up the tree — and given that she’s coming to visit me for the holiday, I supposed I should probably not act like the Grinch.
So, I got the tree out, but was scared shitless that the mouse in my apartment (who is either gone or still chillin’ in the lap of luxury), would be waiting for me in its branches. So, I basically dumped the tree parts onto the apartment floor and left it sitting for two days in a pile.
The weird thing was, I only saw 2/3 of the tree. So where the fuck was the 3rd part? I called my mom, asked her if she recalled seeing a rogue Christmas tree during my move. Nope. I was convinced I got so drunk when I took the tree down last year that I’d thrown the 3rd part — the tree top — down the chute. That’s when you know you party; you just assume you got drunk and did something WAY stupid.
But after hours of searching my 600-ft apartment for the remainder of a 9ft tree, I threw the other parts of the tree across said apartment in a rage. And out flew part number 3. Ta-da! Time to get this party started!
Per tradition, I turned on the Rockefeller Christmas Tree Lighting special, and let Al Roker kick off my cheer (did anyone else catch it when he accidentally said “breast”?). I put the tree together, got the lights on, and basically threw the ornaments on in no order whatsoever. I wanted it done and done.
In two hours, my tree was done, I’d hung the stockings, and put a wreath on my tree… and I even put out a festive centerpiece on my island. It’s Christmas, y’all… now, if I could only get my shopping done…