How to Cope: One Direction.

Is 1D splitting?

Is 1D splitting?

The following is a guest piece by my bestie Sheena Hall, who is also madly in love with Harry Styles. She is currently mourning the One Direction split, but wiped away the tears to share the message below. 

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The news of the One Direction “break” came to us early Monday morning via the tabloids, or rags as they call them in England. The specifics varied depending on the source, but they all basically said the same thing: the members of One Direction are taking an extended break of at least one year, possibly longer, to work on solo projects. Within hours it was just like the time Harry Styles threw up on the side of an LA freeway after a night of partying; shrines were built, friendships were ruined, crimes were committed, the World was just in complete pandemonium.

For a lot of Directioners this news really didn’t come as a shock.  After their discovery almost exactly 5 years ago on The X Factor, One Direction has released 4 albums (the 5th to be released in November), gone on 4 World tours, and filmed one movie.  I think it’s clear to everyone that they must be exhausted and deserve a break (FYI, that doesn’t mean we’re okay with it.)  After Zayn announced he would not be returning to the band after a 2 month hiatus in the spring due to “stress” or “his fiancé caught him cheating and pulled a Yoko” in American terms, fans expected that the rest of the members of the band would follow his departure after the conclusion of their current World tour, On the Road Again.  Expecting a split and having it actually happen are two totally different realities. Even though this is just a “break” I think everyone with a pulse knows that taking a “break” is really saying “we’re breaking up” in a nice way.  Speaking from my own personal experience with this split, it feels like you’re inside out and the World will never be right again.  One Direction isn’t just breaking up, they are breaking up with us. Luckily, I have put together a list of ways we can all try and cope with this tragedy.

  1. Purchase a 4 disc CD player. Then play all 4 One Direction albums on a loop in said CD player while lying in bed ugly girl crying with the lights off and blinds drawn. Bonus points for eating ice cream and carb loading while you do it. Food is your only friend right now.
  2. Reach out to your fellow Directioners, misery loves company after all.  It will help to reminisce together about all the times Harry has tripped over nothing on stage.
  3. Console each other as you cry about how you’ll never get to see Harry trip over nothing on stage again.
  4. Obsessively think about the concert you went to where you definitely made eye contact with Harry and had a moment. Then realize that will never happen again and cry some more.
  5. Take it to Twitter. Sometimes you just need to get the rage out publicly.  Blame Zayn because he did start this whole thing and blaming someone else always helps.
  6. Be in total denial. Believe that everything they are saying is true and that this really is only for one year and they will come back and be better (and more tattooed) than ever.
  7. Convince your friend that currently has access to their hotel rooms in Chicago to steal their clothes so you can put them on pillows to cuddle with have a piece of them forever.
  8. Purchase all of the BOP and Tiger Beat magazines you can get your hands on, then wall paper your bedroom in One Direction posters to feel closer to them.
  9. Realize that if they are broken up people will forget about them and you’ll have a better chance of meeting and eventually marrying one of them.
  10. Get real. Accept that none of these things are actually going to help cope with this horrifying reality and you will never ever get over this because it is literally the end of the World.

Editor’s note:

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Posted on August 27, 2015, in Light Pulp and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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