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Social media: causing codependency.

Technology... we need to draw some lines in dating.

Technology… we need to draw some lines in dating.

I woke up, pissed as all hell. It was a Saturday morning, I’d slept in, and for some reason I was in a fit of rage.

I was mad at the guy I’d been talking to, mainly because we weren’t really talking to each other anymore.

Six months prior to this ugly Saturday morning, I would have woken up to a sweet text message from him, or a video on SnapChat.

But after finally sleeping with him, he’d gone dark without much of an explanation.

The thing is, this has happened to me so many times, I’ve nearly come to expect it. I get it, no one wants to have a “break up” talk with someone they’re not really dating.

However, if the guy had no interest in me, then why was he still looking at all my SnapChats and mentioning things he’d seen on my Instagram? It made my stomach churn. It felt creepy.

I recently started following Life Coach Brenden Dilley on Twitter after hearing him on a radio interview. He said one of the first things you should do when parting ways in a relationship is, what I like to call, the Digital Delete.

Get rid of pictures of your ex on your phone, old text messages, and delete the person from all social media channels.

According to Dilley, we’re living in a society that’s codependent, so removing our exes or past flings in every capacity, makes it real that it’s over.

If we weren’t talking in our actual, non-digital lives, then I sure as hell wasn’t going to let this guy check up on me online. And I didn’t need to be checking out him, either. It was over.

So, I deleted our connections on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and SnapChat. And of course, I changed his name in my phone to “Fuck Boy”.

He tried to add me back on SnapChat, to which I responded by blocking him and telling him to stop contacting me via social media.

A few weeks later, this guy told me I was immature for doing this (he actually asked me if I was 12 years old).

If I was indeed 12, that makes him a sexual predator, and actually, social media wasn’t around when we were 12. But I suppose that wasn’t his point.

Perhaps I am immature, but in any case, I did it because I wanted him out of my life in every way possible.

And I would venture to admit that I was wishing for a bit of control in a situation that left me clueless, and hurt.

So, do we live in a codependent society? It sounds so terrible, but maybe we are. I do think that social media has made us more lonely than we were before it arrived, and it does have the power to affect our relationships.

I was reading an interview with author Kim Stoll in Time magazine, and she said social media has given us all gateways to contact people from our past that may not be good for us.

Interestingly enough, that’s how I reconnected with this last guy. We went to high school together and started talking via SnapChat (God, that sounds so cheap when I write it).

I’d bet that if social media didn’t exist, we wouldn’t have reconnected. Just saying.

But since deleting him from social media, I do feel rather free. Pay no mind to the fact that all of my social media feeds are public, and I have a revealing blog.

It’s less about visibility and more about the cold, hard fact that we are no longer connected, emotionally, or digitally.

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Yes: ‘Dance Squad’ & Mayer Snaps.

The LA Clippers dance team has their own show on E!

The LA Clippers dance team has their own show on E!

Is it just me or is Tuesday night TV pretty much as good as it gets? Probably just me, given that I’m a complete TV junkie.

While I’m still pretty wrapped up in “The People vs. O.J. Simpson”, and admittedly, “The Voice”, last Tuesday E! premiered “LA Clippers Dance Squad”, as in a completely behind-the-scenes look at what it’s like to be a member of a professional dance team.

Hells-to-the-yes.

I have pretty much always dreamed of being on a dance team in some form or fashion, so watching this is the best of both worlds: I get to live vicariously through the young, hardworking dancers, and I can do it from the comfort of my bed. What more could a girl ask for?

The first episode was a good introduction to a few of the team members as they went through auditions, and you also get a good look at the Clippers Spirit’s new Creative Director, Petra Pope, and she means BUSINESS.

From TVseriesfinale.com: “Petra has an extensive resume in pro basketball, having led dance teams of the NBA’s Los Angeles Lakers, New York Knicks and Brooklyn Nets in the past. She’s now moved back to Los Angeles to revamp the Clippers’ dance squad and take it to the next level.”

As far as team members, there are 20 girls to start, and it seems like some of them may get clipped (ha, punny) as the season continues. My favorite girl is most definitely Hannah, as she’s from Louisiana and left everything behind (including a long-term boyfriend) to pursue her dreams in Los Angeles. Go girl!

I also like Savannah – she’s that Tennessee cool girl I aspire to be in my next life. Some of the show is simply footage from practice (which I enjoy because I love dance practice), but other parts of the show are beautiful shots of L.A. (d-i-e), and of course, adventures and drama these girls get into. Three of them are roommates, so that should be interesting.

On tonight’s episode, it looks like Petra makes a *SHOCKING* decision for co-captain and everyone is pissed! Eeeek! The show airs Tuesday nights on E! at 10 p.m. EST.

So, I know I’ve talked about John Mayer being on SnapChat before, and just to give you an update, he still hasn’t approved ANY of my Snaps yet, but I’m going to persevere!

Regardless, I have still been watching his snap story… and let’s just say that his cute little snaps are only making me like him more.

Hiiii...

Hiiii…

About 75% of the snaps are of course, him playing music or spending time backstage as he is currently on tour with Dead & Company.

But the other 25% of his snaps are absolute nonsense and brain-dumping; i.e. what we know John Mayer to do best, aside from untouched guitar talent.

He talks a lot about making social media personal again, using snapchat for selfies, and his theories on adults owning Pedialyte.

But perhaps my favorite snaps are of him, hand washing his white t-shirts in his marble sink (which has gold hardware, mind you).

Why do I love this so much? Probably because it shows his domesticated side, and his dedication to white shirts. He could very well pay someone to hand wash his seven white shirts, but no, he does it himself, and even hangs each one on a drying rack.

What is my weakness? White shirts and denim. D E A R G O D.

I would actually pay him to hand wash his white shirts. And I would also sit and watch them dry for four hours, just to make sure nothing happened to them. And then I would die happy.

#LifeGoals

Mission: Get John Mayer to Open my Snaps.

John Mayer doesn't know what he's missing.

John Mayer doesn’t know what he’s missing.

About two weeks ago, John Mayer announced he was joining SnapChat. The interwebs completely ATE this up, because: 1. SnapChat is for teens, right? And John Mayer is 38. And 2., What happened to all of that jazz about not making a complete fool of yourself online, Mr. Mayer?

Well, hell’s bells. I’m 30 and on SnapChat, and when I heard the news I about died.

“This is it!” I thought to myself. “Maybe THIS is how we’re going to meet!”

Sure, I have no shame in admitting that I’ve attempting to contact him via Twitter and Instagram (by way of tagging his handle, I’m not creepy enough to send him a DM).

But I am also creepy enough to attempt to send him two Valentines over the years via snail mail. Now, these cards never got sent back to me, but yes, I’m aware of the fact that John Mayer never saw them.

More than likely, they are sitting in dusty boxes in some New York warehouse, and/or some creepazoid steamed open the envelopes and flattened them in a frame from Goodwill.

Now, back to the matter at hand. Personally, I think SnapChat is the perfect place for John Mayer, because he can say his “sexual napalm” realness, and then it disappears in 24 hours.

Leave it to my imagination to try and figure out how I can use this particular social media channel to PERHAPS meet my life’s obsession. But how am I supposed to make this happen?

My friend suggested the spaghetti tactic – you know, throw everything on the wall and see what sticks. Ah, hell, why not?

So, I took a picture of the nearest thing: the Taco Bell drive-thru line, slapped a kissy-face emoji on the sucker, and sent it to John Mayer.

Then just sit back and watch the magic happen, right?

Sure, that’s what I thought, too, until I saw the little arrow next to his name was gray and it said, “Pending”.

Um, what? Here we are, nearly 10 days later, and that sonofabitch is STILL pending.

“Don’t worry,” my friend said. “He’s going to accept it because you’re his #1 fan!”

While I appreciate her perseverance, that’s exactly the reason he’s NOT going to accept it. Because I am an obsessive freak.

But, this is my blog and I’m all about transparency, so let’s obsess more and figure out how to crack this code.

According to SnapChat, the “pending” message is confirming the fact that John Mayer hasn’t added me as a friend on SnapChat. Well, no shit.

SnapChat suggests calling your “friend” and asking them to accept your friend request, so you can easily send snaps to each other.

Um, hello?! It’s 2016, I’m not going to CALL anyone. And D., if I had John Mayer’s phone number then I wouldn’t be trying to stalk his ass on SnapChat! Duh. *Rolls eyes*

So, anywho, in the meantime, I’m just going to go apeshit and snap him some ‘mo. Because I really don’t have anything else to do with my life.

If you’ve got other suggestions on how to get his attention, please let me know. I’m not above flying my personal plane over Montana and writing some messages in the clouds.

Want to follow me on SnapChat and see me make a fool of myself for John Mayer? I’d love to have you: OrangeJulius7

Eminence organic skin care.

Spa days are the bessssst.

Spa days are the bessssst.

Over the holidays, my mom treated me to an afternoon at the spa (Viva Day Spa in downtown, Austin, if you’re curious). We had manis and pedis, but we also enjoyed organic facials.

I’ve had many facials in my life, but this one was fantastic! So much so, that I wanted to get some of the products they used so I could T-R-Y to imitate the wondrous feeling at home.

All of the products were from the Eminence skin care line, which is completely handmade and organic. I’d never heard of it before, and the esthetician showed me the products she’d used – most of which revolved around skin brightening and moisturizing.

Bright Skin Starter Set

Bright Skin Starter Set

Luckily, they had a Bright Skin Starter Set,  which includes a cleanser, moisturizer, a face mask, and Licorice Root Booster-Serum, along with a pretty cute cosmetic bag. I got that, and definitely love the moisturizer and the serum.

The cool part about all of the products is that they are concentrated (because there’s no preservatives in them), so you can add a few drops of water to whatever you’re using and stretch it a little further.

The cool part about the serum is that you can add it to whatever liquid product you’re putting on your face. I add a few drops to my moisturizer, but you can add it to a night cream, face mask, or even your foundation to give your skin a boost.

What does it mean to use organic skin care? You’re putting ingredients on/in your skin (the biggest organ we’ve got) that are pure. Check out their farming process:

Originating from a balanced, holistic view of the universe, Biodynamic® farming practices regard the farm, the plants and the animals as a self-supporting ecosystem that lives and breathes. It renders fruits and herbs that are unusually high in nutrients and active compounds then harnesses these potent ingredients into a collection of products that are the ultimate in pureness and results-driven skin care.

Seeds are planted and crops are harvested following the lunar cycle so that when the tides are high, roots receive the most moisture and goodness.

As an alternative to harsh pesticides, the farm uses herbal teas and plant friendly honey traps from local bees as natural insect repellents ensuring that all Biodynamic® ingredients are farmed as naturally as possible.

Biodynamic® ​ingredients are void of all chemical fertilizers and pesticides. Only natural medicinal herbs and mineral composts are used to enhance the soil and ignite powerful growth forces in the plants from roots to tips.

It’s the real deal.

I’ve been trying to get really good about taking care of my skin lately. I’m getting older, and I’ve got to be able to put my best face forward! If you follow me on SnapChat (OrangeJulius7), you can see more of my daily skin care regimen, along with my other favorite beauty products.

Fresh Friday: Tory Burch.

All the pretties...

All the pretties…

I am SO, SO happy today is Friday! This week at the office was a doozy, and I’d be lying if I haven’t been emotionally drained sorting out my own emotions simultaneously – you ever have weeks like that? I’m really looking forward to a weekend on the couch, only emerging for trips to the nearest food truck.

For Christmas, one of my best friends got me the Sephora Liquid Luxuries Perfume Sampler… it’s a gift she usually gets me, and it’s one I really look forward to every year. Not only do you get to sample 15 wonderful perfumes, it comes with a coupon to get the full size bottle for the perfume of your choice (provided it’s one of the samples).

I take this very, very seriously. I spend almost all year sampling the perfumes and deciding which one is going to be the right choice for the full size bottle – I just picked out my full size perfume from last Christmas, in September! It’s such a great gift and I want it to be perfect! So, yes, I’ve got a slew of new perfumes to present to you.

Starting with… Tory Burch!

According to the Tory Burch website:

The first fragrance from Tory Burch captures classic elements in unexpected ways. Feminine and tomboy. Easy and polished. Floral peony and tuberose blend with crisp citrus notes of grapefruit and neroli — anchored by earthy vetiver. A bright and complex mix in a super-chic glass bottle with a signature fretwork top.

Notes: Neroli, Grapefruit, Cassis, Bergamot, Peony, Tuberose, Jasmine Sambac, Vetiver, Sandalwood

I do like how complex this perfume is, with the combination of floral and wood. I like it a lot. The only thing I’d say is that I haven’t noticed this lasting all day. It’s not a deal breaker for me, because sometimes I like to mix it up if I’m switching from day to evening. But I know that’s a big deal for lots of people.

Maybe if you did the body wash, body lotion, AND the perfume, you’d be smelling of Tory Burch all day long… I’ve always wanted to have a whole set like that, but I just don’t have it together enough yet (#goals).

I hope you guys have a fantastic weekend – follow me on SnapChat (OrangeJulius7) to join me on my couch, and I’ll see you back here next week with posts on homemade dog treats, how you stack up according to the number of sex partners you’ve had, and organic facial products, among other genius gems. Bye y’all!

Crushing on SnapChat.

I would never send ANY of these.

I would never send ANY of these.

Every time a new piece of technology, or a new social app, is introduced into our world, I try to find a way to wiggle it into my routine.

Unless it’s not worth it, of course.

I downloaded SnapChat (@OrangeJulius7) around six months ago, at the suggestion of a younger friend.

“All the cool kids are doing it,” was his pitch, and I went with it.

At first, I didn’t know what to snap, but the more friends I’ve added to the app, the more fun I have snapping pictures of my cat, my food, or myself dancing in the car.

Honestly, I thought SnapChat was just for dick pics, but I’m six months in and I’ve yet to see such a pic.

I will say, though, I’ve got one follower that sends me ab pics daily. I have no idea who he is, but he looks fantastic, and I cannot help but look at his six pack.

A few months back, I met a super cute guy and we started following each other on SnapChat.

He kept looking at my snaps, but wouldn’t message me directly.

So, one Saturday night, I did the classiest thing I could think of: I got drunk (read: completely wasted), and sent him a direct snap.

To my surprise and delight, he snapped back… and he looked so cute.

The snaps continued, but the next morning, I had no clue what exactly I’d snapped — that’s the catch 22 of SnapChat. The snaps you send erase after the person opens them.

I snapped him that morning, and felt out the vibe. It was fine.

But what have we here? Is it a snap-only flirt?

I consulted one of my gay friends, because who else am I supposed to get dating advice from?

He said a SnapChat flirt is really only legitimate if we’re using the chat feature, because then, it’s like the guy really made the effort to talk to me.

Ugh! Leave it to another app to muddy the already murky dating waters and leave a girl in question.

For fear of looking like a nut job, I stopped sending him snaps and am just trying to keep it cool in the meantime.

But he’s just so darn cute!

Nonetheless, it all got me thinking — surely people are hooking up from SnapChat.

According to an article on Lifetimetv.com, SnapChat is the one social network where the gloves are officially off and people can be unfiltered (even though there are filters).

I will admit, I’ve posted things on SnapChat that I would never post on Facebook or Instagram.

Because of this fact, SnapChat is not only popular among teens and young adults, but it’s also popular among young professionals.

However, apparently SnapChat is the new Fight Club, because it’s that thing we’re never supposed to talk about.

Which brings me full-circle to my SnapChat crush. If the article has any truth to it, it’s pretty impossible to bring my Snap crush into a real-life, full-blown crush.

In a way, it’s kind of sad, but on the other hand, what’s so wrong with that?

It’s innocent, fun, flirty, and at the very least, I don’t have to worry about birth control or hell, shaving my legs.

Sounds like a win in my book!

But before we all go out and take our tops off on SnapChat, don’t forget that damn screenshot feature.

Keep a slight filter, even in the glamorous world of the disappearing photo.

Until next time, I’ll see you on SnapChat, but don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone.

Pic of the Week.

It’s quite possible I’m still coming off a high from such an incredible weekend.

I took my first paid-vacation day at the new job on Friday to travel to Kansas City, Missouri. A little random? Kind of.

My reasoning was, I got invited to a wedding there. The groom has been a longtime blog reader, turned friend, but we’d never met in-person. What better way to meet someone than on the day of his wedding?

And so, I packed my Jeep and drove. I invited my friend Sheena to be my plus-one, so she did the same, only she was coming from Indiana, and I from Texas.

I’ve been traveling and driving a lot lately, but I waited too late to get a flight, so I hit the road. And honestly? I’m really glad I did. It was one of the most beautiful drives I’ve ever taken.

Most of the route was on I-35, stretching over miles of fields, wind farms, and cows. I even saw an old pickup racing down a dusty trail. It was completely glorious and I felt like I was in a Nicholas Sparks’ book for a few hours.

And at the end of the long, long road, was one of my best friends. We enjoyed wine and food and caught up on our first night in town.

Saturday, we had to taste what Kansas City was famous for: the BBQ. It was sweet and sticky, and insanely delicious. If you ever find yourself in KC, stop by the Smoke Box, order the beans, and eat all of the hunks of meat in them. They’ve been simmering in that damn pot since before you were born and it is melty, meaty goodness.

And then, it was nearly time for the wedding! I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t anxious all day for it.

You see, the blog reader, my friend, the groom, Matt, is also a blogger. That’s how we connected. While I’ve been sitting over here getting off on cynicism, Matt created a blog following on being a “Nice Guy.” He was on a mission to prove that being a nice guy really puts you in the winner’s circle.

After a few years of reading each other’s blogs and exchanging writings, we traded numbers, and in what was probably one of the lowest parts of my life: I reached out for his advice.

I was about two months into my relationship with D. He was drinking every night and we were fighting. “Is this normal?” I texted Matt.

Of course, it wasn’t. And he told me to move on. But, I figured Matt just didn’t know me. Turns out, I should’ve taken his advice, as what followed was enough drama that created my first book: How I Fell.

About that same time, Matt setup to meet a girl he’d been talking to via an online dating site. They met in-person at a dog park, where Matt debuted the love of his life, O’Malley, his rescue dog.

Matt told me the girl, Becca, brought a ball for “Mals,” and that was a major point-score. They saw each other again and again, and they even started dating.

And I? I was dating a jerk and rolled my eyes at Matt and Becca’s smooth sailing. Something had to be less than perfect, right? No.

Matt told me many months later that he was planning to propose to Becca during their vacation trip to Los Angeles.

I was so, so happy and I kept texting Matt, “Has it happened yet?!”

It did. She said yes. And there we we were, about to see the whole thing through.

Matt and Becca got married at an old, yet still-functional, movie theatre in Kansas City. Their names were on the marquee, there was popcorn, arcade games, and traditional theatre seating. There was even a little preview: the Mupetts. Because… Of course.

While the attire was semi formal and the bride and groom were completely decked, the bouquets were made from paper (some of the flowers were made of comics) and they were wearing chucks (I completely called this).

It was so personalized and unique; I absolutely loved it!

I know every wedding is full of love, but I’ll be honest, sometimes there’s so many flowers, and crystals, and people that it’s hard to see it. This was the first time I’ve been to a wedding and could honestly see just how much every single person wanted the bride and groom to be together.

There were lots of happy tears, well-wishes, and congratulations. Everyone was so thankful that these two, who were clearly made for each other, had finally found each other. It was very sweet.

Aside from getting to meet Matt and Becca, there were also a few other blog fans there and it was flattering and humbling and just so fun all at once!

I started my blog (and many others) because I’m always writing and thinking and analyzing. Never did I ever think that one, or two, or from what WordPress tells me, hundreds of people across this globe would read my words, or care about my life.

But there I was, in Kansas City, toasting to two of my very own. To Matt and Becca, I cannot imagine that in my years of blogging (read:over sharing), I’ve given you what you gave me in a single weekend.

You gave me hope that no matter how you meet someone, and even if you’ve got some weird obsessions (ahem, Halloween), there’s still a possibility that a match is out there. More importantly, you proved what I’ve always wondered: that fate is real.

And to that, I say congratulations and thank you!

To the rest of you, take a lesson from Matt and Becca: invite me to your wedding. I will bring gifts but I’ll drink you dry.

Follow me on Twitter, Instagram, and SnapChat @OrangeJulius7