thebitterlemon

Stupid Hat.

I managed to survive my time at work, even when Austin was around. He wasn’t dating anyone else, and neither was I. In June, he told me he wanted to take me to the Marc Broussard concert that I’d bought him tickets for when we were still together. I liked Marc Broussard, but I wasn’t […]

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Love Letters.

Austin and I didn’t go on many dates before we decided to be exclusive. Our first two dates went very well, and I remember wondering if things were moving too fast. I didn’t know if I was really ready for another relationship—I was still feeling the baggage from Adam. But I felt like Austin and […]

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Fish in the Sea.

I was in the stockroom at work one Saturday, trying to reorganize clothes, when Austin came in complaining about a recent date he went on. The girl he went with worked at A&F with us, just like all of the girls Austin took on dates. His general complaint was a blanket fear of never finding […]

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I Spy.

After Halloween, the anger portion of my grief set in. The lovely Facebook showed me pictures of Adam in a frat boy costume. He was with a girl who was dressed as a pirate wench. She is now his wife. Although I had declared my single status on Facebook, I wasn’t an idiot—Adam hadn’t met […]

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Right Down the Middle.

When I returned to LSU for the fall semester of my junior year, I was on a high. I was in love with someone who loved me. When I left Indiana, we were certain we could make it work, despite the 14 hours between us. I was confident in our relationship, feeling like it was […]

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The Sunrise.

After the night in Adam’s dorm over winter break, and returning to LSU for the spring semester, I was ready to go home and see my friends for the summer. Sheena and I were headed out for a typical summer night—out to a lake house. This was a friend’s family’s lake house—a notorious hotspot for partying […]

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Back to the Grind.

Hey there! I’ve spent a long weekend with my dad, who came into town for his 50th birthday and the football game of the year: LSU vs. BAMA. It was his first time in Tiger Stadium, and we got to cheer on the Tigers to victory! A really great game to see. We spent the […]

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The Darker Side.

As close as Adam and I were, I never saw much of him during school breaks. Over the summer, Adam and his family spent time at their lakeside cottage in Michigan. During Christmas break, he was either closing the cottage or traveling to visit other family members. From the outside, his family looked perfect. Adam’s […]

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The Start of it All.

He arrived at her house in his black Sunfire. The sunroof was open, letting the evening sun pour into the gray interior. He was the first one in our grade to get his license and a car, dubbing him the official driver. His friend was in the passenger’s seat, waiting for my girlfriend and I […]

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New Chapter.

My latest entry was the last of my story [for book one anyway}. I sifted through piles of notes, postcards, journal entries, pictures and even paycheck stubs to gather my thoughts and jog my memory of those things, which happened years ago. Although parts of it were difficult to go back and examine, I knew […]

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Too Late.

When Thanksgiving actually came around, I didn’t see or talk to Austin despite us being in the same city. I spent time with a man I was casually dating. Months passed and I distanced myself from Austin—the more time went on, I realized just how wrong he was for me, but I hadn’t had my […]

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Turkey Day.

In late October 2007, Austin and I got into a pretty heated fight (big shocker, I know). He was coming into town for Thanksgiving the following month and I told him it would be a good time for us to meet each other’s parents—my mom was coming in town to cook with me and he […]

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Broken People.

October 7, 2007 {9:34 p.m.}: I’ve been feeling better about the AJ situation since we talked about things. When we talked, we never really got anything solved, but at least I learned Austin didn’t mean most of what he said and he was just trying to get a reaction out of me. There is still […]

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Doesn’t Mean Anything.

September 30, 2007: Been a long time since I’ve been here. Been writing some on my computer—but I’ve reached that point where I really need to just WRITE. Last night, I cried for the first time over a fight Austin and I had over two weeks ago. I left for work and was coming home […]

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Back From Dallas.

AJ, Hey you! Just wanted to say thanks for another great weekend. I have fun with you whether we’re out or just at home…because you’re that cool. I’m looking forward to another visit soon. I know things might sucks now but I am certain time will help in a decision that will be the best […]

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City of Light.

I was on my way to Los Angeles for the first time ever, and I was alone. I’d flown alone many times before, but never to a place where I didn’t know anyone. I’d never been further west than Chicago. I boarded my plane, headed to LAX, and felt pretty relaxed on the large flight. […]

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Houston Airport II.

August 14, 2007 {9:59 a.m}: It seems airport writing has become my thing—or maybe just airports in general. I’m here in Texas on my way to Los Angeles, finally! So much has happened since I wrote last. Seriously last week was such a roller coaster. Gabe and Nik and Evan ALL contacted me so my […]

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A Meltdown.

July 25, 2007 {10:40 p.m.}: Okay, so yesterday I had a bit of a meltdown. For starters, I really hadn’t talked to Austin much since I got home from Dallas. So of course I assumed he would never talk to me again. Everything he was doing I was applying it to my fear and I […]

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Another Fight.

July 10, 2007 {12:59 p.m.}: OK, so I don’t have my fucking journal, I’m at Starbucks and pissed at Austin AGAIN! This is the third time in three days. We talked yesterday when we definitely should not have. He was being a dick because I didn’t call him when he wanted me to. So when […]

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Just Wondering.

July 7, 2007{8:30 p.m.}: Okay, once again it’s been awhile since I’ve been here. I’m 22 now! School and work have been really taking up my time and energy…I’ve been really stressed. My geology grade sucks, I can’t seem to get ahold of the concepts and time is running out. But since I’ve been so […]

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Two Weeks.

June 14, 2007 {11:24 p.m.}: Well, it’s been exactly two weeks since you’ve heard from me: A LOT has happened! But…first thing is first. I cried on my drive home from work tonight. I’ve cried so much this summer. The saddest part is, I can hardly pinpoint why I cry, not because I don’t have […]

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Sparkle Card.

June 14, 2007 {10:52 p.m.}: Well, I’m home and in my own bed…it’s Austin’s last night in Baton Rouge. I guess he read my letter this afternoon because when I got home from work there were roses on my doorstep (3 red, 2 pink). There was also a thank you card with it and he […]

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