Boy, did #LochteGate PISS. ME. OFF! Here I am thinking “Omigosh, Ryan Lochte is soooo hot”, and I’m cheering for him in his only two races, and I’m putting him on my SnapChat, and I was so sad when I heard the news that he’d been robbed at gunpoint. I frantically checked Twitter to see if he was okay; I diligently watched TODAY as he explained the entire story… and then we find out it was all a lie? What the hell?
Aside from it just being disappointing that Lochte turned out to be the douche he looks like, it looks bad for all the athletes, and it looks bad that there was no real punishment for him. It’s ridiculous, and I honestly wish he would get his medals taken away and never be allowed in or at an Olympic event ever again.
But this whole Loch-Mess got me thinking about all the times celeb guys let us down – you know, those moments when you just want to put your head in your hands. Pure disappointment. So, here are some of those moments, in no particular order.
John Mayer’s Stupid Mouth
Everyone knows I love John Mayer. In fact, love is probably an understatement. But, I’m not blind to the fact that he’s said some really stupid shit that will not be repeated here. In fact, there were many years that his stupidity made it difficult to be a fan – it was almost as if every fan had to have a prepped defense at the drop of his name.
There was his comment about Jessica Simpson in bed, his embarrassing interview with Rolling Stone magazine, that unfortunate time he dated Taylor Swift, and his general sense of douche-baggery during the Jennifer Anniston years. We rolled our eyes, and we moved on – but not until he apologized publicly and moved to the bowels of Montana.
Every Contestant on ‘The Bachelor’
Okay, so maybe not EVERY contestant, but that show manages to highlight some of the WORST dudes in society and turn them into D-list celebs. Let’s travel down memory lane to the one and only Jake Pavelka (season 14), who stole our hearts and then chose VIENNA! Argh!! Honestly, his season was probably the one that really turned me off the most. If you recall, Jake was a pilot and ABC ate that shit uuuup – changing up the theme song to feature Jeffrey Osborne’s “On the Wings of Love” – which was catchy as hell, I’ll admit.
And who can forget Juan Pablo Galavis (season 18)? Granted, we were blessed with Andi Dorfman’s spice because of him, but still… he was awful. And I can’t sleep tonight without mentioning Arie Luyendyk, Jr. – from “The Bachelorette”, season 8 – I just cannot with him.
Justin Bieber’s Antics
Between pissing in a mop bucket, to egging his neighbor’s house, getting a DUI, and in general, just being a little punk ass, Justin Bieber lets down us Beliebers a lot. But I’d be lying if I said his little shit storm of an attitude isn’t what makes him so likable. He will never learn, because he doesn’t have to – and we’ll all still be here when he decides to come back to Instagram.
Lance Armstrong Caught Doping
In October 2012, the USADA found Lance Armstrong had bee doping since 1998, and consequently stripped him of his 7 winning titles of the Tour de France, along with any prize money. Suspicion grew against Armstrong for years after quickly recovering from cancer, and having several questionable urine samples. It’s easy to say that after that, his LiveStrong campaign went right down the toilet.
Zac Efron Goes to Rehab
I love me some Zac Efron, but none of us can forget when the hottest star EVER packed his bags and went to rehab for drugs and alcohol in 2013. And don’t get me wrong – I think going to rehab is a respectable move. The disappointing part was the heavy cocaine use that was basically his dirty little secret. Many celeb reporting outlets said Efron was out of control on cocaine, and that his problem was not about alcohol. Either way, he seems to be on the right track (we hope), and should probably come hang out in Austin any day now.
Brian Williams Joins Club of Liars
In February of last year, it was brought to the world’s attention that newscaster Brian Williams had fabricated a story about being in a helicopter that was shot in a war zone in Iraq. His story contracted that of people that were there, and the top-rated journalist admitted he was wrong. This entire thing made me so sad, because I truly respected him as a reporter. And honestly, I still do, and I’m glad he is working a second chance on MSNBC, after he was quickly blackballed from NBC’s Nightly News.