Valentine’s Day is two days away, and I’m single, very single. I don’t even have a crush and I ALWAYS have a crush. I mean, I’ve still got John Mayer, so no worries there. So, what does a single girl LOVE on Valentine’s Day? Let me tell you what:
Liz Earle Cleanse & Polish Hot Cloth Cleanser – I treated myself to the “starter kit” when I got a coupon for the Birchbox store. The face wash itself is kind of like Noxema (hello, 90’s!) in texture, but it gets off ALL my makeup. I still can’t get over how awesome this stuff is. So, the other part of this system is the muslin cloth you use to remove the cleanser: it’s gentle, but exfoliating so it really gets things clean. Try Birchbox to get exclusive Liz Earle products!
Origins Active Charcoal mask – I use a mask at every night. I am really trying to up my skincare regimen, and I love trying different things to see what works. My latest purchase is the Active Charcoal Mask from Origins. I get blackheads on my nose, chin, and between my eyebrows, and I use this at least once a week to (hopefully) dry up the suckers.
Green Chef meals – It’s been about two months since I signed up to have organic ingredients delivered right to my doorstep each week. I really love this service more than I expected! The ingredients are always fresh, the recipes are things I’ve never made before, and they are easy to make, but it still feels like I’m cooking. I rarely have to go to the grocery store, so it saves me time, and it even cuts back on my food costs since I’m not loading up my cart with unnecessary purchases. Want to try it? You can get 4 FREE meals using my code! I’d love you know what you think.
Ban.do Drink Sleeve – “Fries Before Guys” is my life motto. I love fries, and fuck it, I’m putting them first in my life, forever. Calories be dammed. The cool thing about Ban.do, is that aside from having all sorts of bad ass goodies, they also have free downloads on their website. So, I promptly downloaded a “Fries Before Guys” phone wallpaper, so I won’t get it twisted. Ever.
Amazon Prime – Who doesn’t love free two-day shipping? It makes me want to buy EVERYTHING on Amazon (and I probably have). But, I also enjoy watching free videos (such as seasons of The Newsroom), streaming music, and getting free Kindle books. It’s a pretty great deal, and another excuse for me to avoid public shopping situations. Are you sensing a trend here? Try Amazon Prime for 30 days, for FREE, and see how awesome it is!
ARROW BOOST Color Enhancing Lip Balm – This crazy, cool lip balm adjusts to your unique pH, enhancing each wearer’s natural lip color to create the perfect, just-for-you hue. It also contains mango seed butter to hydrate and protect lips. Another perk? It boasts a lovely minty scent. I like to keep this in my desk drawer at work, because I know I can slather it on before a meeting, and without a mirror, it looks perfect!
DW Home hand-poured candle in Sun Bleached Denim – “Fresh hints of brushed cotton with bright bergamot, zesty lemon, and herbaceous greens over silver sage leaf, earthy patchouli, and cool woody musk.” Holy hell. I don’t know why this is called “Sun Bleached Denim” because it smells like a fine ass man stepping out of a hot shower, and he can’t find his towel ANYWHERE, and I about fainted when I got a whiff of this thing in T.J. Maxx. Get this candle, like, now. It is everything fantasies are made of.
Dexter reruns – A few weeks ago, I discovered FM is airing old episodes of Dexter, in chronological order. Record series. Get popcorn. Binge. Drool. No second thoughts. Who doesn’t love a sexy Mr. Morgan battling crime in his unique code so we all can sleep at night? Count me in.
Not Soap, Radio Body Wash – Funny name, but seriously awesome! Each scent uses the power of smell to hack away at your problems: from relationships to struggles at the office, just hit the shower with this stuff. I’m currently using “Liquid Freud“, which smells of mango and coconut, and aims at calming. Next? I’m getting “Bathing with Sharks” to boost confidence in the boardroom. The bonus? It’s free of parabens, sulfates, and phthalates and is never tested on animals.
SkinnyGirl Popcorn – I have a love/hate relationship with popcorn, but when I saw SkinnyGirl popcorn at the grocery, I wanted to try it. I got the “Sea Salt and Lime” flavor, and it is unique and delish! The box is filled with mini bags, which are good for a low-calorie, delicious snack. I’ve seen ads for the “Rosemary and Olive Oil” flavor, but haven’t seen it in-store yet. I cannot wait to try that one!
…And there you have it; all of my lovely favorites right now, just in time for Heart’s Day. If you’re coupled and have something fantastic planned, hey, I’m happy for you. If you’re single, head up, and pop some bottles (See: my complete guide to bubbly). Me? I’ll be at dance rehearsal for a good chunk of the day. This year, Valentine’s Day is all about celebrating strength, and being okay with my #CatLady life! See y’all right here on Monday! xoxo
You probably already know that Valentine’s Day comes from Saint Valentine. But, I need to know how a Saint caused such a giant mess for singletons each year.
I took it to Google.
An article I found on History.com says the Catholic Church recognizes three saints named Valentine or Valentinus. There is a legend that one of the Valentines was in prison, and he sent the first “valentine” to his jailor’s daughter. He signed it, “From your Valentine,” and the phrase has stuck around ever since.
According to some, the celebratory day of Valentine corresponds with his date of death, but some say the timing has more to do with the start of birds’ mating season. Put that in your champagne and drink it.
Today, 1 billion Valentines are exchanged each year, making it the second-best day for the greeting card companies.
The history is interesting, but it doesn’t explain why singletons are left in the dark on this day of love. I’ll say this: when February rolls around, I never know how I should take it.
Some people, coupled or single, hate Valentine’s Day, and some people love it. And there are some people who don’t care about it at all.
I’ve noticed though, that there’s no right way for a singleton to acknowledge Valentine’s Day. If we hate it, then we’re seen as bitter; if we love it, then we’re stupid for celebrating a “fake” holiday. What gives?
I just started watching the HBO series “Newsroom” a few weeks ago (I know, I’m late to the game), and in the first season, Maggie instructs Jim to treat her roommate to a fantastic Valentine’s Day because every February 14 has been terrible for her.
Naturally, Jim gets caught up at work on the big day, and the roommate comes storming into the office, screaming about how another Valentine’s Day has ruined her life. I don’t think that’s how most single people act on Valentine’s Day, but I can’t speak for all of us.
However, I’d venture to say that actual Valentine’s Day isn’t just about the day. Most singletons don’t care about an over-priced bouquet of roses, a mushy card, or a themed dinner. I left out chocolate, because I do care, greatly, about chocolate.
It’s about not having a partner. Sure, we’ve got friends, family, coworkers, and colleagues, but we’re tackling the struggle on our own.
Some of the most joy I’ve gotten from a man came from simply having someone to talk to at the end of the day. Whether it’s sorting out the challenges, or laughing about the happy times, going it alone is a battle in itself.
And while every holiday has its “couple-y” aspect, a holiday such as Valentine’s Day just drives it right on home – that flashing billboard that says, “YOU’RE SINGLE.” Trust us, universe, we already know.
Don’t think we aren’t aware of the idyllic jewelry commercials, and the date nights just for couples. We see it.
It’s not like I just forget that I’m single. It’s pretty easy to remember when I go to bed alone, when I’ve got no special guy to call for great news or a bad day, no kissy-face emojis to start my morning, and worst of all, no one to snuggle with when I’m on the couch watching shitty TV.
No, I’m not moping around all day, every day, I’m just saying that single people don’t need a big, red and pink, hoopla of a holiday to make us feel better or worse.
To my fellow singletons, at the very least, Valentine’s Day falls on a Sunday this year, so no gawking over giant flower displays at work. However, beware of every half-decent restaurant on Saturday night. If you need me, I’ll be on my couch with champagne. The upside? I don’t have to share.
Welp, Sunday is Valentine’s Day, and hopefully by now, some of you have started to receive goodies from me to celebrate this holiday I’m really coming to loathe. But, we’ll talk about that more tomorrow.
Aside from the handmade cards, I also mailed out gifts, and for some, I mailed Valentine’s-themed tins of homemade snack mix! I love a good snack mix while I’m sitting at my desk sorting through Excel sheets, paired with a nice, crisp LaCroix.
While there are many delicious snack mixes out there, I knew it would be pretty easy to make my own, plus I could customize it to have all the things I like! So, here is what I threw into my Valentine’s Day mix:
- Macadamia nuts
- Honey roasted peanuts
- Pumpkin seeds
- Wasabi peas
- Peanut butter pretzel nuggets
- Dried fruit: cranberries, golden raisins, cherries
- Annie’s Cheddar Squares
- Annie’s Sour Cream & Onion Bunnies
- Multigrain Cheerios Dark Chocolate Crunch
It’s a lot, I know! I got the almonds raw, so I roasted them in the oven at 350 degrees for about 10 minutes. Everything else was roasted, salted, or sugared as it came, so I just left it as is. I mixed every ingredient in one at a time so I could make sure things were getting evenly dispersed.
I packed the mix in the tins lined with tissue paper and plastic wrap, and mailed them off. Of course, I saved some back for myself and I plan on shoveling some down the hatch while I watch Valentine’s Day movies on the Hallmark Channel this weekend.
If you get a Valentine’s Day card in the mail from me, I’d love for you to post a pic of it – perhaps a selfie, if you’re so daring! Let’s share the love, y’all, or at least just fake it until we make it.
In other news, did anyone watch the premier The People vs. OJ Simpson last week? I definitely did and it’s RIVETING. I cannot wait to catch the second episode tonight (10pm/9pmC on FX)!
The show stars John Travolta as Robert Shapiro, Cuba Gooding Jr. as O.J. Simpson, Sarah Paulson as Marcia Clark, and David Schwimmer as Robert Kardashian.
Now, I was really young when all of this went down, but I vividly recall watching CNN with my dad as the Bronco chase happened. It’s probably one of my first memories of watching CNN, which is special to me.
I knew it was a big deal, but of course I was too young to realize just HOW big of a deal it was. So, a few years ago, I read, “Evidence Dismissed: The Inside Story of the Police Investigation of O.J. Simpson” by Tom Lange, Philip Vannatter, and Dan E. Moldea (the detectives on the case).
The story begins when the detectives get the 4 a.m. phone call that there’s been a double murder at, what they think, is the home of O.J. Simpson’s ex-wife, Nicole Brown. At the time, detectives had not identified the dead male as Ronald Goldman.
The work of the murderer seemed sloppy—blood everywhere, after Brown was nearly decapitated. However, the murder weapon (from wounds appeared to be a large knife) was never found. Detectives headed to the home of Simpson to tell him the news, but when they arrived at his estate, the case thickened.
Detectives immediately noticed a white Bronco parked oddly, straight off the street as if it was parked in a hurry. They buzzed to get inside the gates, but no one answered. They then wondered if there was trouble inside the home. After several attempts to get inside, detectives jumped the gates—a move that would later ruin their case.
Once inside the gates, they met Brian “Kato” Kaelin, who offered part of Simpson’s alibi: he went to his daughter’s dance recital, then accompanied Kato to McDonald’s. After McDonald’s however, Kato said he didn’t see Simspon but he heard three loud thumps outside, but he saw nothing.
Simpson said he was asleep during the time of the murders, but later, his attorney Johnnie Cochran said O.J. was inside packing for his flight to Chicago and was later hitting golf balls outside, which accounted for the three thumps Kato heard.
Although the prosecutors had no murder weapon or witnesses, they thought they’d win the case on blood evidence alone. The bloody footprints at the crime scene didn’t rule out Simpson as a match. Matches were found in blood splatter on Brown’s gates. A match with Goldman’s blood was also found on a glove at at Simspon’s home — enter the gloves.
At the crime scene, one dark leather glove fit for a male was found. Its match was found at Simspon’s home, along with blood inside and outside the Bronco. Both gloves had DNA evidence, linking Simpson to the crime scene, including strands of Brown’s blond hair. At the trial, Simpson was asked to try on the gloves, which were too tight a fit after being soaked in blood, tested, frozen, and thawed several times.
Other evidence from the prosecutors included : DNA blood matches for Brown on a sock at Simpson’s home, Simpson’s hair found on Goldman’s shirt, previous records of abuse from Simpson, reported to police by Brown. All signs pointed to yes…except two: 1. the issue of race and 2. media coverage.
During a cross-examination, detective Mark Fuhrman denied being a racist or using the n-word in prior years. However, the defense unleashed a tape of Fuhrman using the word more than 40 times in a interview he did about female police officers. While everyone was shocked, including the other detectives, it certainly didn’t help the case, which had a more than half black jury.
From there, the case wasn’t about Simpson anymore. It wasn’t about the murders. It became about proving that the detectives were racist and they planned the entire thing—from sprinkled blood to faulty police work. In closing arguments, Cochran compared Fuhrman to Hitler and also pointed out the detectives lived in the same area of Los Angeles where the Rodney King incident occurred.
From day one, this case has been the most popular case in history. While reading this book, I’ve heard stories from my co-workers saying they watched the entire case unfold, or school stopped and the verdict was announced over intercoms. The popular news made finding witnesses difficult. Many locals stepped forward to say they had a story, they saw something, but most of the time they had just been paid off from a tabloid.
When the verdict was announced, that the jury found Simpson not guilty, the nation was racially split. While he walked as an innocent man for awhile, today he is in jail for armed robbery and kidnapping.
The first episode of “The People vs. OJ Simpson” ended right before the Bronco chase is about to start – so, it’s about to GO DOWN tonight! I realize I’m getting way too excited about a TV show, but for now, this is my life, folks.
Okay, so I can’t complain too much about the cold weather, living in Austin, Texas. But I know many of you, my dear readers, are freezing your little butts off this winter. The funny thing about Austin is that I really never know what the weather is going to be like.
When I moved here, people said it still “got cold” come wintertime, and I believed it because, it definitely got cold when I was living in Baton Rouge. I know, all of the people north of me are sitting there, reading this and calling me a wimp. But, yes it still gets below 30 in the South, and it still stays humid, which makes it seem much colder.
Anyway, as the winter months arrived, the cold weather did not. It was still 70! Then, all the locals were telling me, oh, just wait until January and February. And, sure, we’ve had some nights in the 30’s, but not like what I was expecting. However, my apartment has two giant glass walls (basically big ass windows, it’s nothing fancy), and it gets freezing in there – but I still refuse to turn on the heat. I’m cheap, and it’s Texas. Period.
So, I’ve got 5 ways you can keep warm this winter! If Punxsutawney Phil is worth his salt, then we’ll all be romping around in our swimsuits in five weeks, amirite?
Get an electric blanket. It sounds so silly, but I asked for an electric blanket for Christmas, and I was really excited when I got it. You see, my bed is backed up against one of these aforementioned glass walls. And while it looks really cool, I didn’t expect my bed to be freezing when I slip between the sheets every damn night.
Enter: the electric blanket. Not only do I turn it on about an hour before I go to bed (in order to warm the sheets before I even touch them), but I also drag this thing to the couch when I’m ready for a TV binge. It is so cozy! Mine also has a 3-hour timer built in, so it shuts off automatically and you don’t wakeup sweating at 3am. I just love it!
Slip into slippers. I L-O-V-E slippers! I never really thought about my love for slippers until college, when you always have to have something on your feet in student housing. But I’ve been wearing slippers ever since, and I’ve got at least six pair in my closet as I type this. I’ve got ones with actual soles so I can wear them outside (don’t judge me), some that are super cozy and I may or may not sleep in them, and some that are just really cute.
Make something. Turning on the oven or the stove will make your house feel warm, and let’s face facts, who doesn’t feel better after creating something delicious? You should most definitely make Shrimp Ramen! Haylie Duff, from The Real Girl’s Kitchen has an awesome recipe.
Or… you could (and should) totally make your own throat lozenges. No, seriously! I saw a recipe in Bust Magazine and it looks surprisingly easy, and packed with cold-fighting properties.
Go for the warm accessories. Luckily, wool socks and thick beanies are in style this year, so none of us have to feel stupid when we step out in our winter’s finest. Blanket scarves have been everywhere this season, too – I wasn’t sold at first, but I bought one anyway and have had fun styling it different ways.
Down a hotty toddy. I hate Ole Miss, but I’ll take a hotty toddy any day of the week. Basically, it’s just a hot, spiked beverage, and who doesn’t love that? I found six recipes for toddies, and one of them is even from the Midnight Cowboy, right here in Austin! It’s a legendary bar, and I’d give you more details, but I got properly hammered upon entering.
What ways are you keeping warm in this cool snap? I’d love to say I hate it, but I love a good excuse to stay indoors and hunker down with a full DVR or a book! #AntiSocial
I recently became obsessed with watching “Love at First Swipe” on TLC. The show stars Style Expert Clinton Kelly, along with Online Dating Guru Devyn Simone.
The point of the show is to help women (I haven’t seen any male contestants yet) present their best self on their online dating profiles. At the start of the episode, the viewer is presented with the woman’s current online dating profile.
Naturally, it’s a disaster. It usually has racy or very old photos, some sort of weird screen name, and other, general information that makes the woman appear un-dateable.
One recent episode featured a woman getting her Master’s in math. She only wanted men who were also math geniuses to message her online, and she made that very clear on her profile.
The next part of the show involves the contestant meeting Clinton and Devyn, and the expert pair works to get to the root of the problem: why is this woman presenting herself in a way that attracts the wrong types (if any at all) of men?
Then, Clinton works with her to get a new, flattering look, as well as new photos for her profile, while Devyn works with her to figure out what type of man she is looking for, and what she can put on her profile to represent her best qualities and attract the right man.
In the end, the contestant’s new profile is presented to 100 men, and of the (usually 70 percent or higher) men that say they’d like to date her, she gets to pick one to go out with.
I know I like this show because I’ve tried my hand at online dating, and it’s not an easy thing to do. I’ve always looked at it as a passive way of putting yourself out there, but we’re all so “connected” these days, I’m starting to realize it’s not passive at all.
As of now, I’ve tried Match, Ok Cupid, Bumble, Coffee Meets Bagel, and Glimpse. While I’ve gotten hundreds of messages between all of these apps, I’ve only gone on actual dates with three men from them.
Just like the women on “Love at First Swipe”, I too, have wondered why certain men message me and others don’t, or why the men I meet online don’t end up as successful relationships.
While my profile is nowhere near as extreme as the ones I’ve seen on the show, I’ve started to realize that some of the information I’m putting online probably isn’t representing my best self. One of my main profile pictures is of me, drinking a mug of coffee. The mug also has my blog address, The Bitter Lemon, which is usually my username as well.
I think this kicks me in the ass in two ways: 1. It automatically says I’m bitter, or bitchy, and 2. It leads men to this blog, which has a lot of personal information about me right off the bat; and a majority of that information is about my dating failures.
I’m not saying it’s information I’m going to keep secret, but I probably shouldn’t lead with that. I’m also working on letting go of my past heartbreaks. Sure, it still affects me in some ways, but it doesn’t define me, and it’s not something a date needs to know.
Right now, I’m not participating in online dating, but after seeing this show and considering some ways I could improve my presence to potential suitors, I’m considering it.
Who knows, maybe I’ll be seeing you online soon.
First thing’s first: I got new hair and I. DON’T. CARE. You know Chris Brown’s song, “Zero”? That’s my new theme song, ‘cuz that’s how manyyyy f*cks I give…
That’s right, my new hair is sassy, but more importantly, it’s easy to style and it feels healthy. I was rocking the same haircut and color for quite awhile, and although it was still looking great, it’s never too soon (or too late) to change up the game.
I think it’s true: women change their hair, or their look in some way, when they’ve reached a turning point. And after last week’s epiphany, I’m still feeling like a whole new woman, so why not get a fresh cut?
I have been eyeing this short, wavy style for a few months, wondering if I could pull it off. The women that wear it best have great bone structure, and let’s face facts, I could stand to lose a few pounds, and I’ve always had chubby cheeks.
I still kind of wonder how it ultimately looks, but when I woke up on Saturday morning, still in question, I decided “fuck it.” Who cares if I’ve got a round face, it’s my hair and I’m going to cut it. Booyah.
Truthfully, I’ve never been too worried about my hair. If it’s too short, I’ll grow it out, and if it looks terrible, it’s usually nothing a good wash and blow dry can’t fix. Perhaps I’ve been lucky enough to have some great stylists touch my locks, because I’ve really never had any hair disasters (and I definitely dyed my hair from a box for years and sometimes cut it myself).
But I put my faith in my hair stylist (Lydia @ The Garrett Neal Studio; you should check her out), showed her a picture, and we were on our way. She hacked a good chunk off the bottom (2-4 inches, depending on the layers), and added in some ombre highlights, aside from my usual refresh of reddish-brown color (you did know I’m a natural blonde, right?).
In years passed, I’ve spent a lot of time on my hair. I used to get up and wash it every morning, blow dry it with a flat brush to get it smooth, and then choose my hot tool of choice – I’ve done hot curlers, curling irons, straighteners, wave irons, and in the early 90’s, I definitely used a crimper.
But as of late, my plate is very full with other things: work, dance, blogging, freelance editing, my blog class, and general laziness in front of the TV. So, I cut the corners where I can. And while I still put on a full face of makeup before heading to work every morning, I don’t mind skipping on my hair.
This means my hair routine has consisted of this: washing it at night (with sulfate-free shampoo to treat my color), brushing it wet before bed, letting it air dry as I sleep…and then assessing the situation in the morning. Most of the time, it looks pretty good (my hair has some natural wave), and all it takes is a few sprays of something: dry shampoo (try Not Your Mother’s Clean Freak), texturizing spray (try Not Your Mother’s Beach Babe), or extra hold hairspray, and I’m good to go after a strategically placed bobby pin.
And my new cut completely supports this lack-of-care routine I’ve got going on. No fuss here.
Aside from my daily routine, I do a weekly protein treatment using Paul Mitchell’s Hair Repair and I throw on a hair mask (I like Amika Obliphica Nourishing Mask) a few days later, for good measure. Other than that, it’s easy, breezy, beautiful… (CoverGirl) over here.
Are you thinking of changing up your look this year? I’d love to see what style icons you’re admiring! Follow me on SnapChat @OrangeJulius7 to see more of my fairly beauty regimen (and other ridiculous nonsense).
Yeeeeehaawwww – here we are, yet again, on another fine Friday! The good news is you’ve made it through another week… and I have no bad news because it’s FRIDAY.
Between work and dance classes, the weeks seem to fly by pretty fast, but the weekends speed right on as well. This weekend, I’m really looking forward to getting my hair cut and colored, which is the usual routine for me, but I’m thinking about changing it up a little.
I’ve been considering a little bit of a shorter look, that captures my natural wave some (see: Khloe Kardashian). If you’re following me on SnapChat, you probably have noticed that I haven’t blow-dried or used any hot tools on my hair in months. I pretty much gave up trying – I like my natural wave, and straightening it is usually a waste of my time.
So, we’ll see. I’m pretty open to trying new things, and I’ve always been able to trust my stylist to give me a cut/color that’s going to flatter my skin and face shape. In other words, my hair future is in her hands.
Speaking of Khloe, has anyone been watching her new show, “Kocktails With Khloe” on FYI? It started last week and although I don’t watch “Keeping Up With the Kardashians”, I was pretty anxious to check it out, given that her first guests were Brandi Glanville and Snoop Dogg.
It has an interesting format: the set is a mockup of her home, and it’s supposed to seem like she’s just having people over, talking and drinking (and playing drinking games), instead of on a stage for a talk show. I don’t know if it will get a second season, but so far I kind of like it.
Aside from just dancing my booty off (give my new favorite song, “Wut” a listen below) this week, I’ve been wearing this week’s scent: Velvet Orchid by Tom Ford. According to Sephora:
Tom Ford Velvet Orchid is an oriental floral that evolves the carnal grandeur and seductive power of the iconic Tom Ford Black Orchid into an uber-feminine fragrance lavished with notes of cool citrus, dramatic petals, suede accord, and vanilla. Rich, spicy, and intensely floral, it evokes a warm exotic garden. The slim and elegant bottle is enhanced with bold vertical texture and the signature brass nameplate.
Notes: Orange Blossom, Hyacinth, Jonquil, Cattleya Leopoldii Orchid, Suede Accord, Vanilla Tincture.
Style: Lavish. Dramatic. Seductive.
This scent is DEFINITELY feminine. So, if you’re getting sick of me featuring scents on here that have a masculine site, today is finally your day! Between the petals and vanilla, it’s a soft scent, but not so soft you don’t notice it. I’d definitely give this one a whiff the next time you’re in a department store – it’s different (in a good way)!
So, there you have it! Follow me on Twitter, Instagram, and SnapChat @OrangeJulius7 to keep up with me this weekend, and I’ll see you right back here on Monday for another fun week! Cheers!
People often say, “When you’re not looking, that’s when it’ll happen.” These people are usually in a relationship.
I get it – just when you’re busy getting your life together instead of obsessing over dating, Mr. or Mrs. Right could be eyeing you from afar.
It makes sense, but the most difficult thing for me to wrap my brain around when it comes to dating is that it’s one of the only things in our lives that’s completely out of our control.
Think about it: in general, when you work hard, you know at some point, you’ll get a promotion. When you put extra time and effort into a hobby, the chances are likely you’ll get better at it.
But when it comes to romantic love, there’s really nothing we can do to ensure it’ll happen in the way we hope, or that it will even happen at all.
I wouldn’t consider myself a control freak, but when I think about all the things I try to control in dating, there’s a chance I might be.
For example, controlling where we meet someone. No one wants to meet in a bar anymore, and even online dating is considered taboo for some (I’ve done it, no judgment). I think meeting someone in a grocery store would be cool – we could bond over organic produce.
Once we meet someone, we try to control our feelings to protect ourselves from getting hurt. We also try to control who has the power in the relationship. But in the end, none of these efforts really work.
So, how can we stop trying to control one of the potentially biggest aspects of our lives? There’s a few ways, although they may not be easy.
For starters, stop wanting a relationship. I know that sounds ridiculous, but if you want something, your brain automatically starts thinking about what you don’t have; in this case, a significant other. This leads to you think you’re not enough on your own, and you are!
Next, it’s time to invest in yourself. I don’t mean Botox or plastic surgery, I mean those hobbies you want to spend more time on. Take yourself on a date, treat yourself to an afternoon of something you like, take a class to improve a skill, or plan an outdoor adventure that will soothe the soul.
The point is to fill your life with things that are going to make you happy and help you feel complete. It’ll serve as a good reminder that you don’t need to be in a relationship, and when you meet someone, you won’t come across as desperate or needy.
Once you do meet someone special, because you will, stop attaching meaning to every single thing. Try to just be in the moment; be in the relationship. We spend so much time analyzing every little text or action, and not only is it exhausting, but you miss the opportunity to just get to know the person.
Finally, and this is a tough one for me, stop fantasizing. It’s time to see things for what they are. Your mind may wonder to that fantastic kiss, but stop yourself before you’re mentally walking down the aisle. This will help you stay present, and if the relationship doesn’t work out, you won’t be working through a mind-created divorce.
Some of these are going to be difficult for me to grasp, but I feel like a weight has been lifted. If love is out of my control, then I’ve got to just throw my hands up and leave it to fate. Hey, this whole “fate” thing gives me an excuse to wear sweats more often, right?
Last week, I was under the weather. It’s been a LONG time since I’ve been sick; I’d like to think it’s because I’ve been really good about taking my vitamins, eating healthy, getting rest, and using my essential oils.
But, lots of people in my office have been sick, so despite all of my efforts (and slathering my body with antibacterial gel), I got sick and was out-of-commission, no matter if I wanted to admit it or not.
By the time Thursday rolled around, my sick coworkers were all, “Oh, you just have to get through one more day!” But… I use my weekends to get SHIT DONE! I didn’t necessarily hope to be chained to my couch for days (even though that’s what I usually do while writing blogs and editing freelance work).
Either way, I woke up Saturday morning feeling stuffy and exhausted. Luckily, I’d equipped my apartment with cold supplies (did you know there’s such a thing as Kleenex with Vicks?!), and after a few hours on the couch under my electric blanket, I was feeling much better.
And thankfully so, because I knew it was my only chance to craft up some cute Valentines for you guys! I got out all my supplies – some leftover from last year’s batch, and lots of new fun stuff.
After 5 or 6 hours of crafting, and watching rom-coms, including Sleepless in Seattle, Paper Towns, 10 Things I Hate About You, and The Longest Ride, I had crafted about 30 Valentines. I’m really proud of this batch, if I do say so myself! I cannot wait to send them to you guys!
Sunday, I was feeling much better, and was ready to venture out of the apartment (I’m suuuuch a recluse). I went shopping for books, a new moisturizer, and other Valentine’s goodies for care packages I’ll be putting together in the coming weeks. I also changed my turn signal and washed my car, inside and out. Like I said, I get shit D O N E on the weekends.
I know all of this Valentine’s hoopla probably makes it seem like I’m obsessed with the holiday. Truthfully, I’ve hated it for years. But, I’ve been a relationship writer for 10 years. Each year, when February rolls around – and each time I’m single – I wonder how to approach it.
There’s been years I’ve tried to ignore it; years when I’ve tried to just be cool about it; times when my girlfriends and I have worn all black and drank ourselves stupid; and times when I’ve been really, really sad over it. But the honest truth is, none of that makes me feel any different about the holiday.
And now, I just feel like the only thing to do is embrace it and celebrate the love I do have in my life. It is not romantic love, but it’s still meaningful and it makes me smile. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t know that everyone – single or not – could probably use a little more love every now and then. So, that’s why I’m sending the cards and care packages.
I love you all, and I cannot wait for you to see tomorrow’s post!
Ever notice that my Monday posts are about alcohol? Perhaps it’s because I’m fresh off a weekend of partying (not really), that I really don’t want to go back to the office (maybe), or that I just have a drinking problem (perhaps), in general.
Eh, who really cares? Last week, I was super jealous of someone I’m following on SnapChat because she was in Temecula, California. Let me just explain that Temecula has a special, special place in my heart: 1. it is beautiful, and 2. it is some to some exquisite vineyards and wineries that produce delicious, godly nectar.
Over the years, I’ve taken several wine classes, worked at different bars and restaurants, and been lucky enough to travel to many wineries. I’ve learned a lot about wine, and I’ve also met lots of people who have the hardest time buying a bottle for themselves or ordering a glass at a nice restaurant.
So, you may recall my “Bubbly Basics” at the end of 2014, but don’t be surprised if you see more wine guides ’round these parts. I’d love to drop some knowledge bombs, in the form of wine barrels!
Merlot is one of my favorite varietals, so I chose that to get us started. It’s also something you’ll see on many restaurant wine lists and even in grocery store aisles. No need to splurge here, you can get a fantastic bottle of this stuff for under $10. Let’s get this Merlot Monday going!
What the heck is Merlot?
Merlot is the second-most popular varietal in the United States, right behind Cabernet Sauvignon. It thrives in most climates, which may be why it’s so popular (aside from it being delicious), but it’s known widely in France, Northern Italy, and the warmer regions of Switzerland. In America, Merlot grows well in Northern California and Oregon.
The cool thing about Merlot is that, instead of having a specific flavor, it’s more well-known for it’s smooth, velvety texture. It’s often used to mix in with other varietals, such as Bordeaux and Cabernet. Why? It’s got a thick skin and can mellow out the strong tannins in other varietals. This is what makes Merlot so, so easy to sip.
How do I buy/order the right Merlot?
Merlot is a bit of a chameleon when it comes to flavors, and those flavors really depend on the region where it was grown. So, when shopping or looking at a menu, pay attention to the location on the label or under the wine name on the wine list. Cooler climates produce one set of flavors while warmer locations create another flavor profile.
Cooler Climate: France, Italy, Chile
- Licorice, tar, roasted, red, dry, anise, charcoal, mineral,
Warm Climate: California, Argentina, Australia
- Mocha, cherry, juicy, raspberry, spicy, cocoa, silky, vanilla
What are some delicious Merlots to try?
L’Ecole No. 41 2012 Seven Hills Vineyard Estate Merlot, Oregon ($36)
Made in Washington with grapes from Oregon, its black-plum flavors have a subtle bottom note of cocoa.
Canoe Ridge Vineyard 2011 Reserve Merlot ($19)
Concentrated aromas and flavors of cherry, raspberry and chocolate are layered with notes of cinnamon and vanilla on the mid palate. The subtle and soft finish lingers with toasted oak.
Sebastiani 2010 Merlot, Sonoma County ($18)
Balanced, elegant, fruit forward but not overly ripe, this is an elegant wine with noticeable tannins and great cherry notes.
Concha y Toro ‘Marques de Casa Concha’ 2012 Merlot, Peumo, Chile ($16)
Aged 17 months is French oak barrels and is noted for its smokiness in scent and taste. It also has notable flavors of cherries, plums, licorice, and dark chocolate.
…And there you have it! Next time you need a little Merlot in your life, hopefully you’ll have a little direction and can treat yourself to something delicious. I hope y’all have a great Monday – see you back here tomorrow!
It’s FRIDAY! I’ve been feeling a bit under the weather this week, so it’s been a struggle to keep up with work, dance, and well, all the other writing shenanigans I’ve got up my sleeve, but I freaking made it!
Monday night was the first OFFICIAL dance practice for my performance at the end of next month, and our group (the Video Vixens) were informed that we’re dancing to two songs, and one of the songs is a remix of Ludacris’ “Get Low”. Umm, YAS!
Despite feeling like absolute shit, I banged out a pretty good practice and am looking forward to learning another section of the dance next week. This week, I also discovered FM is replaying episodes of Dexter, so why not re-watch them all? Nothing cheers a girl up like seeing her favorite serial killer analyze blood spatter.
I cooked (and ate) all of my meals from Green Chef this week, and I’m looking forward to today’s delivery, which includes ingredients for Greek flatbread. Green Chef clearly knows the way to my heart!
And of course, there’s today’s scent profile: My Burberry! I’ve been wearing it all week; frankly, it’s my favorite kind of research, and I absolutely LOVE this one!
According to Sephora.com:
Inspired by the trench coat and its heritage of British design and craftsmanship, My Burberry captures the fragrance of a London garden after the rain. The scent is a contemporary British grand floral and features a delicate heart of rose woven with an unexpected touch of geranium leaf.
Notes: Sweet Pea, Bergamot, Geranium, Golden Quince, Freesia, Patchouli, Rain-Tipped Damask and Centifolia Roses.
Style: Effortless. Personal. Timeless.
Notice the mix of the masculine (Patchouli and Bergamot) with feminine (Freesia and Roses) – this is my favorite kind of mix, especially when it comes to fashion and style. Leave it to Burberry!
What’s everyone up to this weekend? I’m hoping to get well, while continuing my adventures at the Laundromat. I will probably go on a food truck adventure, and I’m definitely planning on crafting some of my famous homemade Valentine’s Day cards – if you want me to mail you one, PLEASE send me your address to email@example.com – I already have a decent list going, but I would love to add you to it! Catch all the crafting on my SnapChat @OrangeJulius7 – see you there!
Over the holidays, my mom treated me to an afternoon at the spa (Viva Day Spa in downtown, Austin, if you’re curious). We had manis and pedis, but we also enjoyed organic facials.
I’ve had many facials in my life, but this one was fantastic! So much so, that I wanted to get some of the products they used so I could T-R-Y to imitate the wondrous feeling at home.
All of the products were from the Eminence skin care line, which is completely handmade and organic. I’d never heard of it before, and the esthetician showed me the products she’d used – most of which revolved around skin brightening and moisturizing.
Luckily, they had a Bright Skin Starter Set, which includes a cleanser, moisturizer, a face mask, and Licorice Root Booster-Serum, along with a pretty cute cosmetic bag. I got that, and definitely love the moisturizer and the serum.
The cool part about all of the products is that they are concentrated (because there’s no preservatives in them), so you can add a few drops of water to whatever you’re using and stretch it a little further.
The cool part about the serum is that you can add it to whatever liquid product you’re putting on your face. I add a few drops to my moisturizer, but you can add it to a night cream, face mask, or even your foundation to give your skin a boost.
What does it mean to use organic skin care? You’re putting ingredients on/in your skin (the biggest organ we’ve got) that are pure. Check out their farming process:
Originating from a balanced, holistic view of the universe, Biodynamic® farming practices regard the farm, the plants and the animals as a self-supporting ecosystem that lives and breathes. It renders fruits and herbs that are unusually high in nutrients and active compounds then harnesses these potent ingredients into a collection of products that are the ultimate in pureness and results-driven skin care.
Seeds are planted and crops are harvested following the lunar cycle so that when the tides are high, roots receive the most moisture and goodness.
As an alternative to harsh pesticides, the farm uses herbal teas and plant friendly honey traps from local bees as natural insect repellents ensuring that all Biodynamic® ingredients are farmed as naturally as possible.
Biodynamic® ingredients are void of all chemical fertilizers and pesticides. Only natural medicinal herbs and mineral composts are used to enhance the soil and ignite powerful growth forces in the plants from roots to tips.
It’s the real deal.
I’ve been trying to get really good about taking care of my skin lately. I’m getting older, and I’ve got to be able to put my best face forward! If you follow me on SnapChat (OrangeJulius7), you can see more of my daily skin care regimen, along with my other favorite beauty products.
My best friend and I were sipping wine, while letting clay masks harden on our faces, and we got to talking about guys we’ve slept with.
She said someone she knew had slept with 80 guys, and I was shocked at first, but then I started thinking about my own number.
Before I ever had sex, I just assumed I would only sleep with one, maybe two, men in my whole life.
Of course, I was clueless and had a Polly-Anna view of how my love life was going to go down.
My sex life started off innocently enough. I lost my virginity at 20, to my then-best friend, and we were in love.
That was 10 years ago, and I’ve gone to bed with way more than two men since then.
In college, I was really worried about my “number.” I felt like I was racking them up quicker than I should’ve been.
My roommate at the time had just gone through a bad breakup and was going through her “fun” phase that all of us tend to have.
I remember her telling me that my number was no one’s business but mine, but she also had a trick for whittling it down if I felt that guilty about it.
“I don’t even count the guys if there was a condom involved,” she said.
Hey, whatever works (this is a judgment-free zone).
While I won’t reveal my number totally, I’ll say it’s less than 20.
So, if you do the math, it’s been 10 years since I lost my virginity, which makes that approximately two new partners a year – give or take.
Meh, not bad, I guess.
After a quick Google search, I found a calculator on Slate.com that asked for my gender, age, and the number of sexual partners I’ve had since I turned 18.
I typed in my number, and it said I’ve slept with more people than 88 percent of my peers.
The information following was taken from a survey of 13,000 in 2014 that said millennials, on average, slept with 8 people in their lifetime.
I called my friend to dish my “sex calculator” results, and essentially tell her that, according to Slate.com and this survey, I was a slut.
She then wondered if it was because most people were married before 30; many people we know were married before 25.
It’s a valid point.
If I’d married the person I was dating at 25, my number would certainly be lower (although it still wouldn’t be 8).
The truth is, it’s all relative. It depends on you, the situation with that person, what you’re going through in your life… or it could just be relative to who you’re talking to.
I’m really not bothered by my number. In fact, until I plugged it into the calculator, I thought it was kind of low.
So, yeah, I’ve slept with people. Surprisingly, I’ve never even had a one-night stand. Which means that every person I chose to be intimate with was someone I cared for on some level.
But I think it’s a good rule to not stress about your number. It’s only your business, and it’s not something that needs to be shared.
In fact, outside of medical purposes, it’s not something I’d lose sleep over keeping track of.
After all, my number certainly isn’t going to get any lower.
It’s Thirsty Thursday (uh, so what if I’m 9 years out of college…), so let’s be adult about one thing and NOT have a hangover tomorrow! That’s what we call t-e-a-m-w-o-r-k.
For years, my girlfriend and I have been hosting “Ladies Night,” which basically means we eat delicious food, watch trashy TV, and drink multiple bottles of wine every Thursday. This also means that Fridays are usually particularly rough for me.
But, there’s easy things you can do to make that morning after a bit LESS rough.
Of course, the only surefire way of avoiding a hangover is to NOT drink. But that’s like saying the only surefire way to avoid STDs, babies, and fun is to never have sex. We’re human. Now that we’ve got that out of the way…
- Skip the grease. I know, this sounds crazy. But according to Health.com, the grease may upset your stomach, so it’s good to go for foods that are easy to digest, such as toast or cereal.
- Alka-Seltzer. This fizzy tablet settles the stomach and neutralizes stomach acid. I’ve never tried Alka-Seltzer, but people swear by it!
- Multi-vitamin. These make me ill, but if that’s not the case for you, pop a vitamin to get some goodness back into your bloodstream.
- Fluids. If you’re a coffee drinker, try a little coffee, but it’s generally a bad idea to pound coffee after pounding beers. Instead, go for hydrating drinks like electrolyte water or Gatorade.
- Pain relievers. As I get older, my hangovers are less about my stomach and more about my splitting headache. Pop some ibuprofen (I use Counter-Act).
- Sleep. Contrary to popular belief, exercise and sweat can be deadly depending on how dehydrated you are. So stop getting excited about going to the gym… if you’re able to sleep it off the next day, do it.
In September, the internet was ablaze with a recent study suggesting Asian pear juice was THE hangover cure, provided you drank a cup of it prior to drinking alcohol. GQ did a fantastic article on it, where they truly put it to the test.
Boarding the train Saturday morning with two close friends who were staying in the house, I opened the Korean pear juice and guzzled down a cups worth, as the study suggested I do. When Colin, my good friend from Wired, asked why I was drinking pear juice, I explained. Immediately I could see his interest piqued in the supernatural powers this juice potentially contained. After a few minutes of discussion, it was set: Since Colin and I were approximately the same height and weight, we would go drink for drink all day and night on the island. The only difference being that I would drink the Korean pear juice, and he would not. We decided our diets needed to be identical that day as well, so, in the name of science, we devoured our morning bacon, egg and cheese bagels on the commute into Fire Island.
You’ll have to check out the article to see how the pear juice worked out. Truthfully, I know we all have our own needs when we’re suffering from a hangover. I like to take a pain pill, guzzle coffee, and eat a hearty breakfast. Sorry, doc. Research be damned, I’ll cure my own hangover! Cheers to that!
So, I gotta know, what are the hangover remedies you LIVE by?