Blog Archives

I want your love (story).

It wasn’t long ago that I obsessed over Lauren Conrad’s wedding, and purchased all of the magazines that mentioned it so I could get all the pretty details. One of those magazines was Martha Stewart Weddings — my first time purchasing a wedding magazine — and I found that it was filled with non-traditional stories of love.

And I absolutely loved it.

So, why not continue with the theme and feature YOUR love stories here? After all, ’tis the season of joy.

Got a story you want to share with me & my readers? Write it and send it my way by emailing it to: Wittywriter7@gmail.com

Here’s a few story ideas to get you started:

  • How you met
  • The proposal
  • Your first date
  • The moment you fell in love
  • Planning the wedding
  • Meeting the parents

Or, maybe your love story didn’t end so great. You know me, I’m down for the breakup/divorce/scandalous stories, as well!

Worried you’re not a good writer? You probably are, so stop worrying and get to typing. Seriously, I will help proofread and correct any mistakes. Or, if you really don’t trust yourself, shoot me an email and I’ll send you some questions to answer so I can craft it myself.

I will feature one story per week on the blog, starting… as soon as I get my first submission!

Cheers to love, and to you telling me all about it.

Fresh Friday: Happy.

Soooo happy.

Soooo happy.

I was feeling kind of cheesy about using Happy by Clinique as my Fresh Friday scent this week, but once I spritzed a little on, I was reminded why this perfume is so popular — it’s refreshing!

As described by Clinque, “A hint of citrus. A wealth of flowers. A mix of emotions. Our best-selling women’s fragrance interplays fresh, vibrant notes-ruby red grapefruit, bergamot-with soft, sensual ones-Hawaiian wedding flower, spring mimosa. Wear it and be happy.”

And as said by Fragrantica, “Clinique Happy is a fragrance of joy, the essence of a sunny, happy morning. Wear Happy and be happy! Fresh apple, plums and bergamot mixed with the fresh-air accord as top notes proceed into the egzotic floral heart composed of freesia, lily, rose and morning orchid. Musk and amber are in perfume’s base. It was created in 1997. Happy was created by Jean Claude Delville and Rodrigo Flores-Roux. It received a 1998 FiFi award.”

Not only is Happy Clinique’s best-selling fragrance, it’s a top seller in several beauty and fragrance stores. A big plus, for me anyway, is that one spray is enough, and it lasts the whole day.

As I was doing my research, I was reminded that everyone’s favorite lawyer, Elle Woods, sprays a little Clinique Happy on her wrist in the beginning of the movie. BEND… and SNAP!

3/50 Shades: Sheer Peach.

Carmex in Pink and Peach tint.

Carmex in Pink and Peach tint.

I’ve never really understood why women go to such lengths to change up their beauty routines when winter rolls around — until now. And yes, I know winter proper isn’t here yet, but it’s getting colder out and in turn, my lips are chapped.

Earlier this summer, I never left the house without my cute houndstooth tube of Carmex Moisture Plus, and now, Carmex has added two tinted versions of their Moisture Plus balm: Peach and Pink.

I purchased the “Sheer Peach Tint” version a few weeks ago as an add-on item to an Amazon order. While the packaging shows a typical peach color on the label, the actual balm is more red, like the center of a peach.

This translates well on the lip, meaning mega-color. Plus the moisture — this might be the perfect balm for winter!

Carmex Moisture Plus is made with Vitamin E, Aloe, Shea Butter, and features SPF 15 (bonus!). And did you know? Carmex doesn’t test on animals.

I really love this balm and the color it provides. It’s enough to be noticed, but not over-the-top. Wear it alone, or add some clear gloss on top for an extra pop!

Pic of the Week.

My trusty leather tray.

My trusty leather tray.

The weather in Baton Rouge has finally turned chilly — and it seemed to have happened right overnight, dropping into the low 30s. I haven’t broken out my winter coat yet, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have my favorite pair of pink argyle slippers right by my bed and the quilt that’s usually folded neatly at the foot of said bed, is now in full swing.

But aside from the weather, my life has changed a lot in just a few weeks. I’ll be able to expand more on that in the coming weeks, but all I can say right now is that I’ve had a lot of time on my hands. For someone with a history of depression, a lot of time sometimes isn’t such a great thing.

And so, when I’m not working, I’m desperately trying to find those small things that make me happy, like a mug of cinnamon hot chocolate with gigantic marshmallows, served in my oversized, hand-painted John Mayer mug, or a wintery candle burning, a good book (I just started reading The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt), or a fun-filled magazine (even though I’ve got a subscription, I still get excited when it comes in the mail every month).

Believe it or not, I really do cram all of these things onto a tray (I have a small collection of trays) and park it in the middle of my bed. Seriously. It brings me unprecedented joy.

And although I know everyone isn’t going through the same thing I am, as winter approaches (along with the holiday season), sometimes joy is difficult to find. The winter blues are a real thing (okay, so it’s officially called Seasonal Affective Disorder)! Naturally, I found a few ways to cure the wintery blues:

  • Turn on lights in the evening so you’re not sitting in the dark
  • Load up on Vitamin D
  • Hit the tanning bed (hey, I don’t judge)
  • Take a walk outside, when it’s sunny
  • Get a pretty, bright colored plant to put inside your home
  • Eat healthy, balanced meals (don’t load up on carbs)

What helps you cure the wintertime blues?

Survival Guide: The Fade.

Tiny bubbles...

Tiny bubbles…

I’ve gotten The Fade many times in dating — and I know I’ve already made it quite clear that I hate it, and it really sucks (read this if you really want the scoop).

If you’ve never gotten The Fade — when a guy starts taking longer to reply to your texts and then eventually just falls off the planet — consider yourself very, very lucky. It’s happened to me many times, and by now, I can usually spot it a mile away.

The frustrating thing about The Fade is, you want answers. It’s a total copout way of letting someone go. Not to mention that it’s just plain mean.

Although getting The Fade in any situation completely sucks, I am more likely to let it go if we’ve only hung out a few times. If we’ve been going on dates for a few months, we’ve had sex, or we’re in a full-blown relationship, then that’s not okay.

The thing is, what are you going to do about it? There’s not much you can do to him (or her) for giving you The Fade, but there’s a lot you can do to get through it, and get over the coward while you’re at it:

  • Don’t justify it. I hate the whole, “Maybe he’s busy with this or that…” “Maybe he’s taking a nap…” or maybe he’s just an asshole. Texting takes about two minutes, and that’s that.
  • Try not to spin. This is the toughest part. Don’t start thinking of all the fun times you had or what could have been, because this will lead to a string of psychotic text messages that will only make you look crazy and then he’ll be justified in his reasoning for ignoring you in the first place!
  • Get busy. This is my favorite part. Pack your schedule with things you need/want to get done. Do anything to keep your fingers from texting/calling him and your mind from thinking of him. Do a craft project. Read. Host a girl’s night. Paint a room. Get ahead at work. Start a blog (heh heh). You wouldn’t believe how much you can accomplish when you’re not obsessing over a guy!
  • Stick to your guns. When he comes back around (they usually do), don’t waiver. Best thing to do? Reply his text with, “Who is this?”
  • Wear this shirt. No, seriously.
Gurl, bye.

Gurl, bye.

The most courageous act is still to think for yourself. Aloud.
—Coco Chanel

Fresh Friday: Ange ou Demon.

Pretty diamonds.

Pretty diamonds.

This is a fabulous-smelling perfume, and it kind of describes my life lately — Ange ou Demon le secret by Givenchy. I loved it so much, I’m pretty sure there’s not even a drop left in my bottle.

As described by Sephora, “Fresh and luminous, the secret of this caressing, fruity floral is its ‘jasmine tea’ theme. The fragrance faithfully reflects its inspiration’s transparency and delicacy. The result is an unmistakable signature, very Givenchy.”

Other notes include Cranberry, Green Tea, White Peony, Sambac Jasmine, Blond Woods, and White Musks.

As described by Fragrantica, “Givenchy relaunches Ange Ou Demon Le Secret fragrance, originally introduced in August 2009 as a fresh floral flanker of the oriental original Ange Ou Demon from 2006.

The composition remains true to the theme of white flowers and jasmine tea. The top notes are tea leaves, lemon and cranberry. Crystal Sambac jasmine in the heart is mixed with accords of white peony and water lily. The base notes include patchouli, white musk and blonde woods.”

This scent is light, yet somehow complex. It’s a good one to have in your collection — which means I need to get more, now!

Celeb Crush: Bradley Cooper.

Hello, gorgeous.

Hello, gorgeous.

I recently did one of those quizzes, “Who is your celeb boyfriend?” And although I didn’t get my ultimate crush, John Mayer, I did get a fine-looking fellow: Mr. Bradley Cooper. Uh, YUM!

Riiiiippppling abs.

Riiiiippppling abs.

Bradley Cooper is most recognized for his work in films such as Silver Linings Playbook, Limitless, The Hangover (parts 1, 2, & 3), American Hustle, Valentine’s Day, He’s Just Not That Into You, Failure to Launch, and Wedding Crashers.

He graduated from the Honors English program at Georgetown University (hot), before enrolling in a master’s program and developing stage work.

And, I quote (from IMDb), “His weekends were spent with LEAP (Learning through the Expanded Arts Program), a non-profit organization that teaches acting and movement to inner city school children.”

Umm, seriously, who IS this guy?!?

Fun fact: he’s got a sister named Holly.

Well, it’s already been proven that we’re a match, so all I need now is someone to find him and give him my number. Or my house key, whatever.

If you’re a single man and you happen to be in this business, you’re deemed a player. But I don’t see myself as a ladies’ man.

—Bradley Cooper

Guest Blog: In response to Susie Patton…

Guest Blogger, Susie

Guest Blogger, Susie

Susie Meredith is an HR professional for one of the world’s leading online retailers. She currently resides in Nashville, TN with her Golden Retriever, Sadie and her two cats, Vinny and Joey. Susie saved Vinny and Joey from a hard life in the cat-mob on the streets of Tennessee. She received her Bachelor’s in HR Development from Indiana State University and is currently working toward her Master’s in HR Management.

While obtaining her Bachelor’s she was a member of the Gamma Chi chapter of Zeta Tau Alpha where along with holding several leadership positions she also spent a significant amount of time partying hard, having fun, and playing Harvest Moon on Nintendo 64 with her roommates. Susie moved to Nashville with her family after a lifetime of living in Indiana after college and loves being a transplant Nashvillian. In her free time she is a self proclaimed TV junkie, alien movie connoisseur, and craft extraordinaire. Her motto is “If you can buy it, I can make it,” which sometimes leads to some interesting projects and meals.

*     *     *

4 AM would be the time I woke up this morning still irritated at the crap I read about yesterday (Editor’s note: she’s referring to Monday’s post, check it out here). Susan Patton. Not only is she a fellow Susie but also an HR professional hocking the crap that makes women question their worth. So in response to her 10-things-that-women-do-wrong rubbish she puts out there, I’m going to run with 10 things that men these days do that make them un-datable.

Susan Patton's book. Ugh.

Susan Patton’s book. Ugh.

—They have unrealistic expectations of what women should be. There I said it. What any “normal” girl thinks.  The expectation that we should get out of bed looking perfect and dressed in our finest is purely stupid. I work in HR in a warehouse, if you think I’m going to get dressed up every day when the dress code says I can wear sweatpants you are nuts! But also there is this Hollywood expectation that is out there. Because all actresses are sexy, smoldering, perfectly sculpted women suddenly I’m missing the mark. Like right now I’m watching VH1 and Jason Derulo has this woman on here around her house in lace underwear just hanging around her house… Because that happens in real life. I would like for more men to understand that the women they see on TV and in the media are getting paid to look that way. Its part of my job to be smart and knowledgeable in my field, not to look like a 10 in my underwear. That is what I get paid for, Jennifer Lawrence is getting paid BANK to look good in everything, therefore she does. If I got paid that much to be pretty I’d probably care more too!

—They are lazy daters. If I had a dollar for every time I met a guy and he didn’t want to actually go somewhere but just wanted to “hang out,” I would have enough money to quit my job and concentrate on looking as good as JLaw. I was talking to a guy once and was like “Hey let’s go do something fun!” And his was response was, “I know of something fun we can do;-).” Seriously? Take a girl out, speak to her out loud not just via text message. I can’t remember the last time I talked to a guy he wasn’t at least 75% reliant on text message to talk to me. I get the ease and convenience of text message but to me everyone texts everyone, you only talk on the phone to people you really are interested in talking to, so you are pretty much telling me that I’m not worth a phone call, which isn’t much. Even when I talk to my friends about dating they are never telling me about any awesome place they went with their date, they just hung out and watched TV. I love to watch TV more than most people, but sometimes a girl needs to be taken out.

—They lack initiative, creativity, drive, and balls. Ok so I looped quite a few into one here. So let’s take it one by one, lack of initiative – get up and accomplish something. Even if it’s doing the dishes! Or pick up the phone on your own, make plans… do something! Creativity – this ties in to #2, the only date that seems to come to mind for a guy is to “hang out.” There are tons of things to do, even if it’s finding a nice patio to chill out at and listen to some live music. Like you could easily google “creative dates” and someone out there will tell you what to do. Drive – I’m not saying you need to want to be the ruler of the free world.  Just have some idea that you want to eventually move out of mom and dad’s basement or go back to school. Make something happen for yourself. Last one: balls – find them. Make a decision, say what you think, do something bold.

—They can’t fix anything, they just give up. This pertains to two things, not only am I talking about fixing relationship issues and solving problems between two people but also sometimes its nice to have a guy who can fix something that’s actually broken.

Preach!

Preach!

—Morales please? It’s a simple one but it seems to be something many guys are lacking.

—Mom and Dad will fix it… Still… at 30. Who needs independence? There comes a point when you have to grow up. I get that things happen in life that because you to have to move back in with family in such but if you have been 100% dependent on your parents for your entire life this is an issue at this point. Your 20’s are gone. Time to be full grown.

—No compromise. So many boys I meet want exactly what they want with no regard or compromise for what the other person may want. Sometimes you have to stop being a baby and realize you will not always get what you want in life. And that sometimes you have to care enough about how others around you feel and stop putting yourself first all the time.

—No give all take. This ties in to #7. In my job I spend my entire day giving and giving to people. Getting them what they need, fixing their issues. It has made me more aware in my personal life of people who are only takers… which seems to be the majority of the guys I meet.

—Some find themselves undeserving. On the flip side I think there are a lot of men out there that think they are undeserving of some of the women they meet. They see themselves as just what they are on paper instead of realizing that they are an amazing person that a women would love to spend their time with. If there are any men reading this; don’t be afraid of a woman who has their life together and may be more successful than you. If they are a woman worth your time they will want to share their life successes with you, not use them to bring you down. This one hits a personal note with me. My mother has always been the “bread winner” in my family and my father has been more of the care taker. He has worked in a warehouse my entire life, he doesn’t love it but he does it because he wants to work. He gets his joy from the successes of his family. He supported my mother 100% while she went to school full time and worked full time with two kids. He was a stay at home dad for a few years while my mom had to travel often for work and he was amazing! My sister and I never wanted for anything, our house was so clean you could eat off of any surface, and he always had an amazing meal prepared for dinner. Plus he built my mom this amazing trellis and brick patio. My dad doesn’t see himself as just an employee somewhere. He strives to be an amazing father and husband and succeeds. On the flip side, my mother has always counted her successes in her career as his successes. There has never been a time where I have heard her say “I did this.” She knows that without the help of my father she wouldn’t have been able to accomplish many of the things she’s been able to do.

—They don’t look for the diamond in the rough. How many times have you heard a guy talk about being the nice guy that some beautiful girl doesn’t pay attention to? When he has this awesome friend right next to him who is head over heels in love with him? And he looks at her as just a friend for whatever reason? So as much as men want women to look past the surface they could do the same. This goes in line with my last posting where I talked about my close friend who would describe his “perfect girl” and he was pretty much describing me but because of whatever reason – still have no clue — he wouldn’t look past the friendship piece.

And there is my 10, agree or disagree in the end things like this, along with Susan Patton’s books are just a matter of opinion.  I still don’t like her but I bet she has an amazing Chicken Tetrazzini recipe.

Editor’s note: Still pissed off at Ms. Patton? Here’s some related reading:

Pic of the Week.

scarf

I spy a homemade scarf!

A few weeks ago, someone posted a link on Facebook to instructions on how to make a hand-knitted infinity scarf. And by hand-knitted, I mean, using your hands instead of knitting needles.

So, last weekend I finally got around to purchasing some yarn and sitting down to see if I could complete the scarf. Now, I’ve never learned to knit or crochet… hell, I’m not even good at cross-stitch. So, I watched and read many sets of instructions before things started going right.

But, I really thought the scarf was cute and if I could make one look good, then it would be a good option for inexpensive, yet thoughtful Christmas gifts.

So, I kept going. And eventually, I got the hang of it.

While the instructions say the scarf will take only 30 minutes, it took me probably 90, and what the directions fail to mention is that you’ll be tied up for this time — literally, your hands are tied together with 12 loops of wool. So, pee before attempting, and lock up any wild lions (ahem, Blanche) that may be wandering your apartment trying to off your hand-knitting game.

While you can’t tell in the picture, my scarf is five feet long, and can loop around my neck twice. It’s about a foot wide, so it’s very thick and warm. I used the Lion Brand wool in “Oatmeal,” and it took two entire packs to create my scarf. One pack would be enough for one loop, or one of those cool cowl neck scarfs.

I can also wear it looped once, and it’s big enough to be a shirt, but it looks pretty cool. I will definitely be making more of these, as it was only $10 for two packs of yarn. If you want to get together for some hand knitting, let me know — I’m always down to create something cool (or warm)!

Is THIS why I can’t get a husband?

Oh, don't mind me...

Oh, don’t mind me…

A reader in San Francisco brought to my attention an article in the New York Post, “8 Reasons Why New York Women Can’t Get a Husband.” Obviously, I don’t live in New York, but I’m always willing to consider ANY reason as to why I don’t have a boyfriend/fiance/husband, etc.

The article is based around an old-fashioned dating manual that was recently published, authored by Susan Patton, aka “Princeton Mom.” The book, “Marry Smart,” basically says that college is the prime time to find a mate (no argument there), but after 35, you’re SOL.

Here are 8 reasons Patton thinks you’re still single:

  1. Too much drinking. Patton says women who are sloppy are a turnoff (no shit), and bars are not the proper place to find love. Yet again, no shit. Rarely do I find myself in a bar, and while I can party with the best of ‘em, I usually only drink one night a week.
  2. You’re married to your phone. This very well could be true. Patton suggest that instead of having your nose buried in a phone or an iPad during our lunch breaks, we should look up and make eye contact with people.
  3. Wearing too much black. Umm hello, black makes us look skinny and everything black matches everything black. NEXT.
  4. Dating too many guys at work. I have never dated anyone at work, so this need not apply.
  5.  Spending too much time with your gay best friend. I have many-a-gay-guy in my life, but I don’t think we spend too much time together. Patton says we need to be reminded that we can’t marry our gay best friends. Um, yeah, no shit, that’s why we hang out with them!
  6. Ignoring the biological clock. “You’re not getting any younger,” Patton says. This lady is really starting to piss me off.
  7. You hook up too much. While I don’t think I’ve ever hooked up “too much,” I do have a past of being okay with just physical relationships. But I have recently given this up (just ask my latest crush and he’ll tell you all about his blue balls).
  8. Relying on convenience. Food delivery. Wireless movies. It’s easy to stay-in at the end of a long day. I’m definitely guilt of this, but who says the delivery guy won’t be the one getting on one knee (just kidding, Patton)?

Okay, so maybe I could stand to put my electronics away for a second during lunch, and make an effort to get out of the apartment every once in awhile. If this nabs me a husband, I guess I’ll have to send Patton a thank you card!

Fresh friday: Lady Million.

Pretty.

Pretty.

I was totally going to choose a classic scent (such as Clinique Happy) for today’s Fresh Friday, but I reached into my perfume goodie bag and this is what I came up with. I wore it to the office yesterday, and I was pleasantly surprised by how much I enjoyed this feminine scent!

Lady Million bottle.

Lady Million bottle.

As described by Macy’s: Lady Million by Paco Rabanne is the feminine alter ego of the 1 Million men’s brand. A stunning, fresh, woody-floral fragrance that is glamourous, elegant, and audacious. Top Notes of Neroli and Raspberry, a heart of Orange Flower Absolute, Jasmine Sambac Absolute, and a dry down of Patchouli and Honey make Lady Million a shimmering, opulant, sensual fragrance.

Other notes in Lady Million include Amalfi Lemon, Gardenia, and Amber.

As described by Fragrance X: Lady Million Perfume by Paco Rabanne, You may not have the cash, but you can still smell like a million dollars . This is a floral for women that dazzles and seduces. Top notes of bitter orange, raspberry, neroli and orange blossom are followed by a heart of bewitching arabian jasmine and gardenia. The base notes of patchouli, honey and amber complete this tantalizing composition. The flacon is as faceted as the most precious of jewels.

The only thing I question about Lady Million is its longevity — might not last all day, but would be perfect for a night out!

How to fight right.

This guy looks like a tool.

This guy looks like a tool.

I really hate fighting. And, over the course of my years in the dating game, there have been many-a-time when I’ve simply ignored things that were probably worth a fight, simply because I just wanted to play it cool. But, no matter how cool you are, something is likely to piss you off.

And sometimes, a fight is just plain necessary. But there’s a right and a wrong way to do just about anything, including a big ‘ole fight. Here’s a few feud rules:

  1. Stay focused. Usually, a fight about laundry isn’t a fight about laundry (or sometimes it is). But whatever the issue is, stay focused on that and not his/her cellphone ringtone.
  2. Don’t get nasty. The more you know someone, the more you have the ability to hurt them. Don’t go below the belt, unless it’s makeup sex, or unless you’re trying to get dumped.
  3. Don’t blame. This is the tough part (for me, anyway), but don’t point fingers, and don’t attempt to simply “win” the battle.
  4. Apologize, when necessary. If you know you’re in the wrong, just fucking apologize.
  5. Take a breath. While fights shouldn’t be screaming matches, step back if needed. You don’t want to say something you’ll regret.
  6. Be kind. When you’re not fighting, be sure to share the love. Your partner will remember your random acts of kindness when an argument arises.

When it comes to fighting, I don’t like to yell. I especially don’t enjoy passive aggressiveness. But I’ve been in a few relationships where screaming and flinging cuss words across the room becomes the norm. And it’s not fun.

As I continue venturing into the dating world, I’m learning how to fight in a way that could actually improve a relationship, and not leave scars.

What’s your fighting advice?

Pic of the Week.

Not pictured: monumental pile of used Kleenex.

Not pictured: monumental pile of used Kleenex.

‘Tis here. Every. Single. Year. Without fail, every single time fall rolls around, I get sick. It has been this way since I was a child — only then, at least I could blame it on being stuck in a classroom with a bunch of dirty kids.

Now? I suppose I’m stuck in an office with all of their parents. Go figure.

The weird thing is, I went to bed Friday night feeling fine, and then woke up Saturday morning with a full-blown cold. Sniffles, chills, you name it.

I had enough drugs in my bathroom closet to hold me over until Sunday afternoon, but then, I had to crawl out of bed and venture somewhere.

I must’ve had a high fever, because I decided Wal-Mart would be the PERFECT place to go to grab a few grocery-like items and cold medicine.

BUT WHY?!

I swear to God, if I had a dollar for every bitch-face I received while trying to find Kleenex in Wal-Mart, I would be rich. That, or just how many times I almost get ran-over by a crazy cart person.

Anyway, I made it through the checkout after waiting in line for 20 minutes (and getting my jollies from the woman in front of me buying frozen hot wings and MAGNUM condoms).

I went home, took my meds and went back to bed… I awoke only because I had a movie date that night (more on this later), and I layered on so much makeup to hide my raw-red nose, and loaded up on meds to avoid sneezing during the flick. I couldn’t help from sniffle a few times, but for that I was equipped with a pocket-full of Kleenex.

Of course, everyone hates being sick. I especially hate living alone when I’m sick because I totally give myself a pity party, and the only person who comes is Blanche, and let’s face facts, Blanche doesn’t really give much of a fuck, she just has nowhere else to go (believe me, if she could figure out how to unlock the front door, she’d be on her way to Dixieland in a heartbeat).

The only good thing about being sick now, is that it’s not a holiday — often, I get sick during Thanksgiving or Christmas, which just seems like bad Karma, and nothing else.

And although it seems like just a cold, I always nurse it as much as possible, because in the past, I’ve had pneumonia, strep throat, and mono. Not good.

If you’re feeling the fall flu like me, I can say I swear by Zarbee’s Cough & Throat Relief Nighttime Drink, peppermint essential oil, and the Hallmark Channel. Lots of good, sappy movies to help me rest easy.

Until next time… ACCHHOOOWWWW!

Oh, there goes my self-esteem.

Lily Ghalichi looking perfect.

Lily Ghalichi looking perfect.

I know that everyone has their “thing” — the thing that makes you insecure in the blink of an eye. Chances are, it’s illogical, it’s all mental, whatever it is. But it’s there, and mine has been bugging me for years.

My thing? It’s those perfect girls. The ones that seem like they just have everything, or everything that’s good in this world. They’ve got money, looks, friends, family, a great job (or better yet, no job and a trust fund)…

In the past, I’ve dated guys whom I thought were attractive, and it made me feel confident and sexy to have a good-looking man by my side. But the second we stepped into a bar with a cute little waitress, or a fancy restaurant with a class-act hostess, my confidence deflated. Would he think she’s prettier than me?

In general, I think I’m an attractive person. Not necessarily because of the way I look, but I do think I have a lot to offer someone, as a friend, and as a partner.

But it doesn’t matter how great I feel walking out the door in the morning, if I cross paths with one of these perfect chicks, I all of the sudden feel defeated. Why does this happen?

A few years ago, my girlfriend and I went out on a Saturday night. I felt great, I was working some new, black hot pants and a cute top. And then, she ran into a group of girls she knew. They gave us both the once-over, and continued on their way after a short conversation, mentioning they were out looking for guys.

They were done-up, although in jeans, their hair looked professionally done, makeup full-blown, finished with crisp, white teeth.

“I always feel insecure when I see girls like that,” I told my friend.

“Yeah, but they’re single,” she said.

And she had a point. So why was I so torn up about it? Whenever I get the chance, I poise this question to guy friends, pointing out the most-perfect girl in the room.

“She’s on that level of hot that I just can’t get to,” I’ll say.

“Yeah, but no one’s taking her home to mom,” is usually the response I get.

So why does it still bother me? Actually, you know what bothers me? When these girls look perfect at the gym. It’s like they don’t even sweat.

Most of the time, I attempt to rationalize and talk myself down from my nearly-unstoppable jealousy. Because most of these perfect humans I see aren’t natural — hair extensions, false eyelashes, professional makeup, fillers and surgeries… when I’ve got nice, natural hair, real lashes, real boobs, and if I can get to the gym four times a week, my stomach is pretty flat!

The only thing I can really blame this on is that somehow, at some point, I got this insecurity rooted inside of my brain. And I know, that there’s a guy out there (somewhere) who thinks I’m perfect, and no one else.

And deep down, I know that no one is perfect, and that everyone has something in their life they wish they could change… it’s all just a matter of how you feel on the inside.

Hey, Halloween: Drop dead!

Where's my stationary?

Where’s my stationary?

After much thought, I decided to forgo a Fresh Friday post, since it’s Halloween — even though I pretty much despise this day… or do I? If you know me personally, you know I’m a scaredy-cat all year ’round.

I’m terrified of someone breaking into my apartment, scared of being attacked in a parking garage (or anywhere, for that matter), getting caught up in a mass shooting, etc.

But most of the time, I’m able to hide my fears and live a normal life (although I always search for the exits in movie theaters, and I stopped going inside banks)… until Halloween-time rolls around. Then, it’s really difficult to avoid the scary movies on TV, previews at the theater, people in-costume, and invitations to haunted houses.

Seriously, when did I get so scared?

As a kid, I enjoyed Halloween — dressing up in a costume, and joining my neighborhood friends down every street to see just how much candy we could get (I remember having to make pit stops to dump candy from our buckets, in order to fit more). While I enjoyed trick-or-treating, there were those few houses in the neighborhood that really went all out, and if it weren’t for peer pressure, I probably wouldn’t have gone to the front door.

At the end of the night, my friend Emily and I would sort through our piles, dividing the candy (sorting it by name, or “like” and “don’t like”), and eating as much of our loot as possible before morning.

In middle and high school, I actually loved going to SEE scary movies! Imagine that! I loved the thrill, I screamed and then laughed at myself for being so scared.

In college, I wore slutty costumes, partied, and probably drank a cauldron full of witch’s brew every Halloween.

But it wasn’t until I graduated college that I started to realize just how scary this time of year is. I remember the night it happened, I went with a girlfriend to see a scary movie. And when I got home, I spent hours pacing my apartment, looking under the bed, checking the closets, and I couldn’t sleep.

All of the sudden, scary stuff wasn’t so silly.

And sure, I do realize that the things in movies aren’t likely to happen. But, if I’m being honest here, I have nightmares at least once a week. Not little scary dreams about Casper, actual nightmares that wake me up in sweat, and it takes a snuggle with my kitty and an hour of QVC to get back to sleep.

It’s been this way for years. I’m not sure what causes it, although I’m sure stress is most of it, or perhaps it’s just a random string of thoughts that scares me shitless. Either way, I know that a haunted house or a scary movie just might send me into a weeklong bout of insomnia.

A few years ago, my office really wanted to celebrate Halloween. Someone suggested a haunted house, and I quickly opted out. One coworker simply could not believe WHY I wouldn’t want to go to a haunted house.

“I’m actually terrified of that kind of thing,” I told her. She was appalled, and said I seemed like “the kind of person who would be into it.”

Well, things aren’t always as they seem, right?

I wish I were more into Halloween, but I’m just not. And, as my mom told me a few years ago, I was even scared of costumes and clowns as a child. So, perhaps this is just me, finally admitting that stuff is scary out there… so if it’s okay with you, I’ll just stay in and watch Countdown to Christmas on the Hallmark Channel.

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