I saw this commercial for Kraft “Anything” Dressing last night. Can you count how many dating cliches are in it?
“Kraft has rebranded its salad dressing as ‘Anything Dressing’—a smart change that allows it to justify pouring its fattening Ranch over anything from asparagus to pizza. To promote the new branding, ad agency Being created a spot in which a lonely head of lettuce sits at home crying while Kraft dressing is out swinging with some randy chicken. The breakup is official, and there’s little reason to wonder why, since the new Kraft is quite the dressing-whore, pouring itself over any foodstuffs that comes along. Check out Anythingdressing.com to see just how slutty Kraft’s Anything Dressing can be. It even has a new slogan, ‘Up for Anything.’ Which would explain why the dressing apparently swings both ways, getting it on with a hot rotisserie chick and an oversized wiener.” —Rebecca Cullers
Last week, I was driving home late from a meeting and was blaring my usual 90′s music station. I squealed with delight as the Backstreet Boys’ “Everybody (Backstreet’s Back)” came on the radio.
Is the song a work of art? Hardly.
But listening to it brought me back—way back—to the days when songs from boy bands were as deep as it got. Heartbreak? That’s what happened when a concert was over. No, seriously, I was almost in tears after seeing the Backstreet Boys live. My other loves were, of course, Hanson, *NSYNC, and 98 Degrees, among others.
While I love the video for “Everybody,” I just had to post “Quit Playing Games (With My Heart)” because it’s super cheesy, while simultaneously capturing everything that is quintessential about boy bands.
“Everything I do is for you, so what is it that you can’t see?” -The Backstreet Boys
Earlier this week, a local magazine published an editorial I wrote about my neighbor. You can read it here.
Long story short, I went to his apartment for what I assumed was an innocent evening and ended up having to run out of there after he was trying to force me to cuddle with him.
Now, he is known as the Chronic Cuddler.
Although the event was a little scary and uncomfortable, I loved being able to tell my story through writing. It brought me back to my college days as a relationship columnist. I loved fitting a complicated story into just a small amount of space, starting with the problem and ending up at the solution, all in a neat set of lines.
It felt great to do it again, with a much more lighthearted problem.
As for the Chronic Cuddler? He moves out in 4 days.
Just before the new year, I read a book I just couldn’t wait to get my hands on: “If It Was Easy They’d Call the Whole Damn Thing a HoneyMoon,” by Jenna McCarthy.
The reviews for this book promised a hilarious read, and they were right on point.
McCarthy tells the story of life as a wife, and a mother, and all the bumps in the road along the way. Each chapter is neatly organized into life categories such as, housework, finances, raising children, etc.
Although McCarthy freely admits that life with her husband isn’t always a joyride, there is no question that the love is there.
To further prove her point, the book is sprinkled with “at least you’re not married to him…” tidbits from contributors who tell the annoying (and often disgusting) habits of their husbands.
I’m sure I would have loved this book on an entirely new level if I were married or even in a serious relationship having to put up with an annoying male all the time. However, I’m as single as they come, so I just got to sit back and laugh at McCarthy’s arguments and fits with her husband.
I’ve been researching agents and the publishing world for just a few days now, and I will admit {as much as I hate to} that it is an intimidating world out there. I’m starting to second guess all of the work I’ve done, and wonder if I need to work harder, longer, be more clever…in order to get my story published.
I can’t tell you that I didn’t realize how many people wanted books published, or that I didn’t know it was competitive, or that I thought it would be easy. I knew all of that. However, I see all kinds of crappy books on the shelves all the time—some are even best-sellers. I figured agents would be looking for new writers everyday.
I guess I still have more to learn. Back to the books!
I’m spending a Sunday inside {it’s rather dreary outside}, but I’m attempting to be productive and do some research on this whole book publishing thing. I’m reading some of the articles in my 2011 Guide to Literary Agents, and have found some helpful links for all of us!
The folks at Writer’s Market say we should research agents and the type of work they do, so the moment we get an offer, we can accept or reject it, with good reason. Research their level of experience, past sales, and types of fees.
That last post (below) was one a wrote WHILE giving a presentation on why blogging is great for business. I logged into my Dashboard and showed the audience just how easy it is to post using WordPress (I know, I should be paid for this stuff).
But anyway, last night I finally finished editing the rough draft of my book—How to Make Lemonade! WahoOoOoOo! I just sent out the rough copies to all of you who offered to help me even further, and I am so grateful for that. I really do need all the help I can get.
Let me know if you want a rough copy!
What’s next? Actually putting that 2011 Writer’s Market to use, writing a query letter and spending lots of time at the post office…
On my way home from work this evening, I used a gift card I got for Christmas to purchase the latest edition of Writer’s Market (the gospel for us folk).
In years prior, I buy the general Writer’s Market, but since all I am focused on this year is publishing my book, I was happily surprised to see the 2011 Guide to Literary Agents.
After flipping through it, there are several useful articles on researching agents, self-editing, contacting agents, writing query letters, and even analyzing rejection letters. Pretty much covers everything I need.
I literally JUST finished editing my first rough draft. Man, it feels great!
Many of you have offered to help me edit and I’m so thankful for that. I made all of my edits with pen and paper, so it will probably take me a few days to make them electronically (I know I probably sound ancient, but there’s just something about reading it, holding it, and actually marking it up). Once I fix my current mistakes, I will start handing out (or e-mailing, in most cases) copies for you all to read.
Thanks so much for sticking with me! It’s getting there!
