Blog Archives

Pros & Cons: Making the First Move.

Drinks are important when making the first move.

Drinks are important when making the first move.

Ah, making the first move. This is something I think about often. Should I, or women in general, make the first move? I know, the men out there are shouting from the rooftops, “YES! Make the first move, already!”

But, I’ve had some failures in the past with doing just that — so, what gives?

There’s not some mile-long list of pros and cons when it comes to making the first move. The pro, for the woman, is that the guy knows you’re into him, and you can get this party started. The con is, you could get rejected.

Sounds simple enough, right? Well, rejection isn’t fun, and depending on your current relationship with the person, you could risk losing a friend, or creating an awkward situation for yourself.

I don’t want to reiterate my gym story (you can read all the details here), but basically this is what happened:

  1. Met a hot guy out
  2. Found out we went to the same gym
  3. Talk to him several times at said gym
  4. Flirting happens (or so I think)
  5. I consider CASUALLY mentioning that we should hang out
  6. He introduces me to his girlfriend

And so, I am now left with the often-awkward moment of seeing him at the gym, and ignoring me like he’s paid to do so. I mean, really, it could have been worse, say if we would have been friends, or something.

But still, gathering the courage to ask someone out is tough — especially if you’re not sure how they feel about you.

There’s one thing I worry about more than rejection though, and it’s based around the entire relationship. Let’s say I ask a guy out, and he takes me up on my offer, and things go great. We go out several times, and things might even start to get serious.

Is the ball still in my court because I initiated our relationship? I have always been afraid that a woman making the initial move would result in the man taking a backseat for the ENTIRE relationship.

And, not to get all scientific here, but that goes against nature. Men are supposed to be the hunters, right?

One of my guy friends assured me that this was not the case, that even if a woman made the first move, the guy would take the lead thereafter.

But I haven’t been in a relationship where this has happened, so I sadly cannot support this claim with evidence.

I was going to include a list of “ways to tell if he’s into you,” but most of the ideas I found were stupid, i.e “He sends you emails” — Who does that? Never email me. Or, “He laughs at your crappy jokes.” Hrmm okay.

Truthfully, there’s no surefire way to tell if a guy’s into you… unless, of course, you ask.

All Aboard: NOL > CHI.

Favim.com photo: Will I find love on the train?

Favim.com photo: Will I find love on the train?

Greetings! I am publishing this post while aboard the Amtrak #58, traveling from New Orleans, LA, all the way to Chicago, IL. With more than 900 miles between destinations — I shouldn’t have to tell you that it’s been an interesting ride on the “Spacious Superliner.”

Really, this is my first time traveling via train. I like planes. I like driving, too, but I also like to sleep, drink, and sometimes, read. A train, I figured offers the best of all worlds, while offering an affordable ride, with a view to write about (that’s what I do).

I rode the train as a child, from Indianapolis to Chicago, and remember feeling ill — which is why I packed Dramamine. Other than that, I’ve never been aboard a train. And I’d be lying to you if I said I didn’t have “Love Train” stuck in my head for the entire trip (see my Twitter account for proof of this).

To make my ride as comfortable (and as fun) as possible, I purchased some travel essentials specifically for the train:

Of course, I packed a few snacks, drinks, and loaded up my iPad with tons of books (of the romance variety). For the sake of blogging and Tweeting along the route, I brought my own WiFi, via my T-Mobile HotSpot.

While I had reserved a seat on the upper-level of the train car, the seat was first-come-first-serve. I was thankful to get a window seat. Honestly, I expected the train to be like a bus… but I was in shock at how nice it is. It’s clean, and roomy (stretching my legs out all the way, I still can’t touch the seat in front of me).

I did a little bit of work on the train, but was really excited to get started on a book. So, aside from chatting with my fellow passengers, I read most of the 19-hour journey.

Sunset in Greenwood, Miss.

Sunset in Greenwood, Miss.

As we approached Greenwood, Mississippi, I was able to catch the sunset, and many of my readers may remember, that I am a sucker for sunsets and sunrises — I think they are the most beautiful things to see. I was all smiles to see that sunset.

Around 8pm, we stopped the train for a “cigarette break” and I checked out the observation car (which was very cool), and purchased a sandwich for dinner, along with some wine.

I fell asleep around midnight, and awoke as we were traveling over a bridge, and could see two boats on the water.

About a month ago, I went on a date with someone whom I told my upcoming trip about. Having traveled a similar route, he told me to pay the extra money for the sleeper car, to avoid meeting people. He also said there was “nothing to see” on the way.

Call me a sap, but miles of fields, a sunset, water, neighborhoods… that’s amazing to see. And of course, I set my alarm to wake up in time for the sunrise.

It wasn’t until I woke around 5:30 am that I realized I’d gotten a passenger in the seat next to me (the train stops nearly every hour) — she was already asleep. At a reasonable hour, I asked her what time she got on the train and where she was headed (4:30, Milwaukee…if you’re curious).

So, what am I doing in Chicago? While my train ride wasn’t necessarily full of love (although everyone was kind), my trip is. I’m in Chicago for a wedding — quite possibly an epic wedding — and of course, to see my friends.

Traveling, and especially traveling alone, always leaves time to reflect. And often, when I’m traveling home, to the Midwest, I wonder what exactly I was hoping to find when I left. I really wanted to land a Southern gentleman… but I’m still waiting for that to happen.

Sometimes I wonder if what I was hoping for isn’t still waiting for me right here, at the end of the train tracks.

What’s in my Makeup Bag?

It really did spill like that.

It really did spill like that.

I have always loved seeing these types of posts in magazines and on beauty blogs, so I thought I’d give it a whirl. I’m not someone who keeps the same thing in my makeup bag every week, as I like to change things up with the seasons, or with my mood. And let’s face it, sometimes I just see something on a shelf (and on sale) that I just cannot wait to try!

  1. Zebra cosmetic bag: I got this bag as a gift from my friend and sorority sister, Jenna, when I was in her wedding a few years ago. I love anything animal print, so I love cramming all of my favorite things into this bag.
  2. E.L.F. Blush in Pink Passion: This is one of those items I recently found on the shelf at T.J. Maxx and could not resist. I love the bright pink for summer, and it goes on really light. Before, I was using a liquid blush, which I liked, but often didn’t last throughout the day.
  3. Covergirl Trublend Liquid Makeup #2/420: I have never been disappointed by a Covergirl product, and this one provides great coverage for under-eye issues and blemishes. I put this on after my moisturizer, give it a minute to dry and then apply powder.
  4. Physician’s Formula Healthy Wear Bronzer in Fair: Although this is called “Bronzer,” it’s really not dark enough to be considered as one (they sell it in different shades, I use “Fair”). What I love about this powder is that it offers a 50 SPF, so sometimes I wear it with sunscreen as an extra layer of protection.
  5. Benefit Hoola Bronzing Powder: I don’t use this everyday, but if the rest of my body is tan, and my usual makeup is covering that up, then I dust on a little over my forehead and cheekbones. While I’m not against a shimmering bronzer, this has no glitter, no shimmer, and is totally matte.
  6. Tweezerman tweezers, in pink: I’ve had these for years, and they’re worth the high price. They stay sharp forever, and when they get dull, you can send them back to be sharpened.
  7. L.A. Colors 3 Color Eyeshadow Palette in Sunflower: I’m not really a fan of the red tone in this palette, but I love using the yellow right under my brow, and the taupe-brown on my lid. I am a huge fan of shimmering shadow, as I think it looks natural, especially in the summer.
  8. Maybelline Line Stiletto Ultimate Precision Liquid Eyeliner in black: I have always loved liquid eyeliner and this has been my go-to brand for years. It’s inexpensive, and it lasts forever, while providing a straight line — and yes, it can be done without pulling your eyelid!
  9. Covergirl eyeshadow blending brush: This came with my Covergirl palette listed below, and I absolutely love it for under the brow and blending. It’s not good if you want concentrated color, but that’s what the sponge applicator is for!
  10. MAC eyeshadow palette: I’ve had this palette for years, and as you can see I’ve used most of the shadows. Unfortunately, most of their names have rubbed off the back, but they were neutral tones, a few mattes and a few shimmers. I keep this around for the black and the brown that remain. I use the brown to fill in my brows, and if I’m going for a smoky-eye look, I use the black to line my lower lashes.
  11. Total Moisture Facial Cream by Benefit: I’m not picky when it comes to moisturizers, but this one is light, and oddly, I really like the way it smells.
  12. Victoria’s Secret eye defining brush: I use this for my brows and for powder liner, when needed. It’s a fantastic brush that I’ve had for years, so I’d be pretty lost without it.
  13. Smashbox Full Exposure mascara in Jet Black: Mascara is my favorite, favorite, favorite item of makeup. If I only had to choose one thing, I’d choose mascara — but I don’t really have a favorite. This one is great, but there are other great ones, too. I really just love to layer, layer, layer. I love thick, long lashes for days. And I usually brush on a little for the lower babies, too.
  14. Covergirl Exact Eyelights Eye Brightening Shadow Palette in Vivid Greens: Covergirl, and I think Almay, have really gotten off on creating these “looks” to compliment your eye color… well, this palette is supposedly for green eyes and I’ve got blue. The palette for blue eyes included blue and teal shadows, and I’m not into it. So, eat it! I love to use the light purple just under the brow, the shimmer pink in the crease, and the remaining shades on my lid. It’s a perfect, one-stop shop for eyes.

Pic of the Week.

We're so summery...

We’re so summery…

Saturday night, my friend Liz was celebrating 10 years living in Louisiana! She invited me to join in her celebration — and it felt special, because not only have I been in Louisiana for ten years, too, but I’ve known Liz for most of those years!

I asked my friend and gym-influencer, Derek, to join me, and we made a day of it, traveling to New Orleans to go shopping (where I found a great sparkle skirt for $10), have lunch (oyster club & a house-made summer ale), and then we went to the party.

It really was a fabulous day, and night, so worthy of my pic of the week. I got to see some friends I haven’t seen in awhile (some in years) and I met plenty of new ones, and had some great conversation — pay no mind that it was laced with champagne bubbles.

Derek and I even learned a new game: Get Buckets. It involves tossing baby satsumas onto a roof and cheering it on to… “Get buckets!”

I’ve been thinking about time a lot lately, and it’s weird… When I left Indiana to live here, I never thought I’d reach the ten year mark. But I have.

I don’t know if I’ll stay in Louisiana forever — there are definitely other places I’ve dreamt of living. But no matter where I go, I can say with certainty that this place has had a great effect on my heart.

I guess I feel that I was following my instincts, and at the same time being guided by the best. I became totally intrigued with Louisiana — the people, the food. It is a part of my life. Everything that has happened for me since moving here has just been icing on the cake. 

—Emeril Lagasse 

Pic of the Week.

Nerd alert: I got a library card!

Nerd alert: I got a library card!

If you could only see the happy dance I’m doing right now! I am WAY too excited over my brand new library card!

This all started many years ago, when I registered to vote in East Baton Rouge Parish. My voting spot is just down the road from my apartment, at a library. The only thing is, the voting area wasn’t around any books — or other evidence that it was in fact, a library.

A few people in my office later started telling me about the wonders of the library; the digital collection, DVDs, and of course, endless piles of books! I officially put it on my to-do list to get a library card.

Although it took me awhile to get around to it, I picked a rainy day after work when my muscles were too sore to get to the gym. I had my ID in tow, along with a list of books I was looking for.

It took all of two minutes to obtain said library card, and I was free to roam the stacks. There were so many books on my list that I saw on the shelves, but checkout time is three weeks, so I didn’t want to go overboard.

I ended up with two books that I’m really excited to read:

the-uncoupling-hi-res_custom-f61effc60970bdf97a735b6adf6fa9e8479a59d8-s6-c30The Uncoupling by Meg Wolitzer: “The latest from Wolitzer (The Ten Year Nap) is a plodding story with a killer hook: will the women of Stellar Plains, N.J., ever have sex again? After new high school drama teacher Fran Heller begins rehearsals for Lysistrata (in which the women of Greece refuse to have sex until the men end the Peloponnesian War), every girl and woman in the community is overcome by a “spell” that causes them to lose all desire for sex. No one is immune, not Dory Lang and her husband, Robby, the most popular English teachers at Eleanor Roosevelt High School; not Leanne Bannerjee, the beautiful school psychologist; or the overweight college counselor Bev Cutler, shackled to a callous hedge-fund manager husband.

The Langs’ teenaged daughter, Willa, who eventually lands the lead in the play, is also afflicted, wreaking havoc on her relationship with Fran’s son, Eli. Despite the great premise and Wolitzer’s confident prose, the story never really picks up any momentum, and the questions posed—about parenthood, sacrifice, expectations, and the viability of long-term relationships in the age of Twitter—are intriguing but lack wallop.”

9923372Maine by J. Courtney Sullivan: “For the Kellehers, Maine is a place where children run in packs, showers are taken outdoors, and old Irish songs are sung around a piano. Their beachfront property, won on a barroom bet after the war, sits on three acres of sand and pine nestled between stretches of rocky coast, with one tree bearing the initials “A.H.” At the cottage, built by Kelleher hands, cocktail hour follows morning mass, nosy grandchildren snoop in drawers, and decades-old grudges simmer beneath the surface.

As three generations of Kelleher women descend on the property one summer, each brings her own hopes and fears. Maggie is thirty-two and pregnant, waiting for the perfect moment to tell her imperfect boyfriend the news; Ann Marie, a Kelleher by marriage, is channeling her domestic frustration into a dollhouse obsession and an ill-advised crush; Kathleen, the black sheep, never wanted to set foot in the cottage again; and Alice, the matriarch at the center of it all, would trade every floorboard for a chance to undo the events of one night, long ago.

By turns wickedly funny and achingly sad, Maine unveils the sibling rivalry, alcoholism, social climbing, and Catholic guilt at the center of one family, along with the abiding, often irrational love that keeps them coming back, every summer, to Maine and to each other”

As usual, I’ll keep you posted on how they are. As far as other summer reads, I’ve also loaded up my iPad with Paper Towns and Looking for Alaska by John Green, Where’d You Go, Bernadette? by Maria Semple, and The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt. What are you reading this summer?

The Column: Searching for Summer Love.

Summer love, at its finest...

Summer love, at its finest…

We met on a porch swing after a baseball game. He was tall and tan, and his name was Zach.

When I got up from the swing, and walked out of earshot, he told my friends he liked what he saw in my white jeans.

He looked pretty good in his baseball pants, too.

We were only 18, living in Indiana. It was my last summer before I moved to Baton Rouge, to go to LSU.

Without much hesitation, we spent the summer together, knowing we’d part ways in August.
Many nights were spent driving through cornfields to get to his parents’ house, where he built a “Tiki hut” — a shed with windows and strings of flamingo lights — and we’d sip malt liquor until sunrise.

I even started to like country music that summer, hearing it constantly while riding in Zach’s truck. To this day, “These Days,” by Rascal Flatts takes me down memory lane. Read more…

Favorite Songs to Sing.

One of my favorite movies, “Honey, I Shrunk the Kids,” has a scene that I will never forget — probably because I’m guilty of doing this on the reg. It’s the scene where Amy is mopping the kitchen… but really doing more singing, using the mop as her microphone.

Whether it’s in my car on the way to work or the gym, or just in my kitchen cleaning or making coffee, I like to pretend I actually have talent, and sometimes I even dance, or dedicate a song to Blanche.

Hey, I didn’t say I was proud about it. And so, I’ve put together a list of my favorite songs to sing to. If you think about it, let me know what songs you’re jamming to, and I’ll give them a whirl.

“Coffee” by Copeland

Ah, Copeland. I used to really, really be into indie and punk music, and it holds a special place in my heart. While I love a lot of Copeland songs, this one is one of my favorites, because it reminds me of growing up (and dating) as a teenager in Indiana.

Plus, I love coffee! Give it a listen, here.

We do the best in a small town, act like kids in love when the sun goes down. 

—Copeland, Coffee

“Curbside Prophet” by Jason Mraz

While I’m not a huge fan of Jason Mraz’s new stuff, I really used to be obsessed. I love this song, because it sounds kind of funky and folky all at once, which is rare. I have listened to it so many times, I’ve memorized all of the silly phrases, and it’s really fun to sing.

Check it out here. 

See, I’m a down home brother, redneck undercover, with my guitar here, I’m ready to play. 

—Jason Mraz, Curbside Prophet 

“Falling Down” by Fort Frances

This is one of my favorite tracks by Fort Frances, and I love how it’s calming, but it’s got such a great melody. The lyrics are really what get me on this one though (listen here).

Remember the maps I stretched out on the kitchen floor? I heard you ask, ‘Where’ve you been? Who’ve you loved before?’

—Fort Frances, Falling Down 

“Fill Me In” by Craig David

If this song doesn’t get stuck in your head, there’s got to be some sort of chemical imbalance, because this track is so freakin’ catchy! It’s definitely a song made for high school kids, but I often feel like I’m still there… the bonus about this song? Craig David’s voice is so smooth!

All they seem to do is be checkin’ up on you, baby. Watching our every move, think some day they might approve, baby. 

—Craig David, Fill Me In 

“Fuck Me Pumps” by Amy Winehouse

It’s not my favorite Any WInehouse song, but it sure is fun to sing. It makes me think of being in college, and even now, if I go out, I see women that fit her exact description (listen here).

Cause you all look the same, everyone knows your name, and that’s your whole claim to fame.

—Amy Winehouse, Fuck Me Pumps 

“If I Ever Get Around to Living” by John Mayer

Even though this is one one of his never albums, it is one of my favorite tracks. When I saw the Born & Raised tour (3 times), I wished he would play it, and he did, every time! This song just resonates so much with me, and that’s why I love singing it.

If I ever get around to living, it’s gonna be just like I dreamed. I’m gonna take the love I’m given, and set it free.

—John Mayer, If I Ever Get Around to Living 

Sing it, girl.

Sing it, girl.

“One Call Away” by Chingy

A friend of mine in college used to get such a kick out of the fact that I. LOVE. CHINGY. But I do, and I can’t help what I like. Is it weird that I think this song is kind of sweet?

Told her ‘I going home,’ she said, ‘Can I go, too?’ I’m like, ‘Yeah, boo, I can’t do without you.’

—Chingy, One Call Away 

“Can I Get A Fuck You” by Jay-Z, featuring Ja Rule

Seriously. This is one of the best rap songs. Ever. Like, ever. I absolutely know all of the words and I love blaring this one in my car. early Jay-Z is way better than whoever he’s trying to be now, and Ja Rule? Yessir.

It ain’t even a question how my dough flows, I’m good to these bad hoes.

—Ja Rule, Can I Get A Fuck You

“Konstantine” by Something Corporate

Probably cliche, as I know everyone freaking loves this song. But I love it. And if I didn’t have to work ever again, I would completely be even more cliche and have all of these lyrics tattooed onto my body.

And I had these dreams, I learned to play guitar, maybe cross the country, become a rock star. 

—Konstantine, Something Corporate 

“Nice & Slow” by Usher

Again, cliche, as I’m sure everyone knows this song. But damn, is it a good one. Usher could not be sexier, and this song is evidence of that.

Let me take you to a place nice and quiet, where there ain’t no one there to interrupt.

—Usher, Nice & Slow

From Friend Zone to Fetishville: A Guest Blog.

Guest Blogger, Susie

Guest Blogger, Susie

Susie Meredith is an HR professional for one of the world’s leading online retailers. She currently resides in Nashville, TN with her Golden Retriever, Sadie and her two cats, Vinny and Joey. Susie saved Vinny and Joey from a hard life in the cat-mob on the streets of Tennessee. She received her Bachelor’s in HR Development from Indiana State University and is currently working toward her Master’s in HR Management.

While obtaining her Bachelor’s she was a member of the Gamma Chi chapter of Zeta Tau Alpha where along with holding several leadership positions she also spent a significant amount of time partying hard, having fun, and playing Harvest Moon on Nintendo 64 with her roommates. Susie moved to Nashville with her family after a lifetime of living in Indiana after college and loves being a transplant Nashvillian. In her free time she is a self proclaimed TV junkie, alien movie connoisseur, and craft extraordinaire.  Her motto is “If you can buy it, I can make it,” which sometimes leads to some interesting projects and meals. 

*** This is Part II, Read Part I here ***

… He had a Giantess fetish.

Yup there it is, my proof that I am still in Crazyville. But after many years of odd confessions from people and working in HR, I have learned to have an open mind and decided to do a little research and what I found was quite interesting. He sent me a link to a fetish page that was full of videos of grown women running around trying to step on, squish, sit on, and eat tiny little men.

Like men that are two inches tall and a full size woman.

One woman put the little man in her purse and carried him around. Another tried to trap the little man under a wire trash can. Another kept her tiny man in a hamster cage. Yup.  Shit just got weird.

He even had a favorite actress. What I found interesting about this was there was no sexual element of these videos. Both the women and man were fully clothed and not talking nor partaking in any sexual acts. I know that there are videos that are out there that are sexual in nature, but not the ones that he was watching (of course according to him).

Do not text & date

Do not text & date

He then proceeded to tell me that he watched them when he was “horny” and asked me if it was something I would be interested in. And I laughed to myself.  Thank the good Lord it was over text because he would have thought I was the biggest bitch if it would have been in person. I conveniently “fell asleep” before responding to the texts.

I responded back in the morning and told him I had fallen asleep and would chat with him later. I talked to a few friends about it and they got a chuckle out of as we all had never heard of this before. I then started forming quite a few questions in my head.

  1. You are aware that this could never happen in real life correct?
  2. If you had your choice of a girl… ready to do whatever you want, or watching giant ladies which would you choose?
  3. How often do you participate in this activity?
  4. How does one realize that they are interested in such a thing?

The next night around eight he text me and told me he was in my area and wanted to stop by my house. I was completely caught off guard and quickly did the fifty mile an hour fluff and stuff trying to hide my hoard. So he came over and sat on my couch and hung out… FOREVER! Till one in the morning, and I had to be at work at eight… and I’m one of those eight-to-ten-hours-of-sleep girls, so he was messing with my chi.

But he was good company and I was having fun so I rolled with it. During this time I was able to ask my questions. I found out that he does this whenever he feels horny. He was introduced to it by a friend I believe (I’m not swearing on that). Although he knows it could never happen in real life, it is simply a fantasy (which I still don’t get) that he enjoys… quite often. And if he had his choice between the girl and the videos his exact answer was “It depends on my mood.”

No, I did not stutter. It depends on his mood if he has sex with an actual interested female party or with his hand in front of his computer. At this point in time I’m still caught off guard; all I can imagine is being in a relationship with someone and wanting to have some “special time” and him just being like, “Nah…. I’ve got these videos of giant ladies chasing after tiny men I would rather masturbate to.”

Oh, hey Eric...

Oh, hey Eric…

Not good for a girl’s self-esteem. When I asked him about it, he was just like well this is how I am, I told you I was weird. And then I was stuck on it. I was stuck on the fact that he would rather jerk off than have sex with someone. I still don’t get it. He just kept saying “it’s a fantasy” or “it’s a fetish, you wouldn’t understand unless you had a fetish.”

Well I’ve got a fantasy that includes Eric from True Blood making me his vampire boo thing, but that doesn’t prevent me from being with real guys. And of course things continued down Weird Street. It was almost like he was mad that he told me about it and decided he would turn into a dick. We went from talking every day to him not ever answer my texts, or sending me a text and starting a conversation but never responding, and when I would get irritated with his lack of response I suddenly was looking too much into things, or going crazy.

Remember in the beginning where I said this was one of my biggest pet peeves? Yeah. Too much vodka and a cell phone ended up with me texting him telling him how much of an asshole I though he was being and if he wanted to be my “friend or whatever he was doing” he needed to realize that this would be the quickest way to piss me off. I apologized for my drunken tirade, but verified that it was still a hot button for me when people did that repeatedly.

The last time I heard from him I asked him if he wanted to hang out and he said it was “Laundry day” or some BS. I then wondered how I ended up on the shit end of this stick? I’m just trying to be friends with the tiny man who wants to be trapped by a giant woman and he’s turning me down like I’m some troll trying to marry him.

I dropped it immediately; I went against my gut instinct and let it go on to long. NO MORE! We haven’t spoken since but I still get a chuckle out of the man who wanted a giant lady to chase him around. As a joke my friend brought me one of her son’s tiny toy soldiers. She told me we should put him in different places and take pictures and send them to him. I did it once and then forgot about it.

He now resides in the bottom of my pen cup which seems to be exactly where my friendship ended up, tossed away and forgotten. Although this wasn’t a relationship I actually wanted I find it interesting how quickly at the end he reminded me that I resided in the Friend Zone. Suddenly I was making something out of nothing when a week before he was trying to get me to pretend to be a giant lady via text so he could jack off to it.

There is nothing “Friend Zone” about sexting and it’s not something I prefer to participate in anyways. Why does the phone always have to be in the middle of every relationship?! So as I sit on the corner of Weird Street and Awkward Avenue I think, I must give off some kind of pheromone to guys with weird habits that draws them to me and then compels them to treat me like dirt…

If you would like to get in touch directly with Susie you can e-mail her at pumpkinpie8784@gmail.com or find her on Facebook.   

Holly, Party of One.

This is my Friday night.

This is my Friday night.

Editor’s Note: The contest winner from Tuesday’s Tattly give away is below… 

Tomorrow around 5 am marks one entire year that I’ve been single.

A party of one.

I know that when my ex, D, and I broke up, I was miserable. Even though our relationship was not anything good, I had no idea how I was going to make it through.

Yet, here I am.

I have been through a ton of breakups, and at the time, of course it felt like my life was over — how is it that a person comes into our lives, changes things, and then leaves, and we’re just supposed to come back like nothing happened?

Well, after many dating disasters, I’ve learned that it’s okay to be changed afterward. If my heart has broken a dozen times, then I’ve sewn it back together 13, and it would probably look like a Pinterest failure, but it’s in one piece.

The other day, I got a text message from a guy in my past. He said, “Not that this probably matters to you, but I really hope that you find someone that treats you the way you deserve to be treated. One that can satisfy you and make you feel beautiful.”

Yeah, I hope so, too.

I was thinking about it, and no matter what happens to me, I’m still certain there’s someone out there for me. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not The Bitter Lemon for nothing — there is still a huge part of me that thinks maybe I’m just a dreamer.

But I’m not ready to shut myself off. For all I know, there could be a guy out there having just as terrible luck as I’ve had.

When anniversaries like this roll around, it’s easy for me to sit here and say that I’ve had it rough. Because, sometimes I have. But at the same time, I know there are reasons why I’ve found myself in less-than-perfect situations.

Sometimes I don’t know if it’s because I’m still learning; about myself, those around me, and this world we live in. Or maybe it’s because I have such a big mouth (or fast fingers for typing purposes) and people can learn from my stories. If that’s the case, I’m happy to be a pawn in this game, really.

There is a line in the beginning of “The Grand Budapest Hotel,” that keeps sticking with me: “…After a modicum of fame, you don’t have to think things up anymore. People offer you stories unbidden.”

And it’s true; I’ve always got stories. Granted, most of them are mine, but that’s not my point.

When I think about my past, I noticed I always get this fabulous sense of freedom after a breakup. I celebrate the fact that I can have ice cream at 3am! I can go to the gym after work! I can go to work without makeup!

And, yes, all of these things sound really stupid, but I’ve been put in relationship where those things weren’t okay. But they’re always okay with me, and so until someone comes along that’s down with my rules, I think I’ll just stick with me. It’s taken me years to see that a relationship doesn’t mean I can’t be me. Because after years of being single, I think I’m pretty cool.

So, until then, it’s Holly, party of one.

…And, oh yeah, the Tattly gift card winner is…

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So, first commenter, Melissa! Let me know what email address you’d like me to send the e-card to, and I will send it your way. As always, be on the lookout for more giveaways!

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