I don’t know about you, but this week has been kinda rough — maybe it’s the weather, maybe it’s the sheer fact that my most recent crush is dead to me (I’m currently looking for a new one), or perhaps it’s that damn Daylight Savings Time coming up, but in any case, I’m so glad it’s the weekend!
I’ve been covering the classic perfume scents lately, so I wanted to spice things up by featuring Betsey Johnson and her namesake perfume, Betsey Johnson.
If you know anything about this designer, you know she’s one of those folks who is SO creative, she barely fits into any category. While some of her jewelry and clothing items are too much for my personal style, some of it is really cute.
But, this perfume. I’ve worn it for years! It’s got an incredibly warm, rich scent that I absolutely love.
As described by Fragrantica, “In 2006 she launches her first fragrance, Betsey Johnson, a real pop art luxury. The outer package is decorated with the details which reflect her style, leopard print and roses, while the bottle is accentuated with a very unusual and attention-drawing top. The unusual bottle was designed by Colorful Licences.
Betsey Johnson fragrance was created by two noses, Bernard Blanc and Mathilde Bijaoui. They gave it a sparkling and joyful opening, combining the notes of grapefruit, pear, black currant and tangerine. The middle notes unite the floral and fruity accords of freesia, lily of the valley and red apple, while the base bring cedarwood, sandalwood, praline, amber and musks.”
Now you can see why I love it so much! At first whiff, it IS a little overwhelming, but it really is fantastic!
I hope you all have a great Friday, and a perfect weekend. Is anyone watching Secrets and Lies (featuring hottie Ryan Phillippe)? I caught the premier this week and I am hooked! It’s on Sundays at 9/8 on ABC. Hope to see you on Twitter!
“So, have you found anyone yet?”
It was a question from my coworker whom I’d just met.
“What does that mean?” I asked her.
She found it difficult to believe I was still single. I told her to believe it, because I am very, very single.
“That’s good,” she said. “Wait until you’re like, almost 30 and then settle down.”
Aside from the fact that I’ll be 30 in four months, I don’t understand why coupled people think that being single is a life decision.
My coworker — who has four kids with her boyfriend and lives in his parents’ basement — was suggesting that once I blow out the candles on my 30th birthday cake, I finally say, “yes” to all of those men that have proposed to me.
Oh wait, there are none.
A few days later, I was taking out the trash with my boss. We were talking about furniture we’ve obtained over the years (riveting, I know), which naturally led to the fact that I’m single.
“Are you ever going to settle down?” she asked me.
What the hell? While I don’t have a boyfriend, it’s not like I’m running the streets naked. If I were, perhaps I’d actually have sex more than twice a year.
It’s not as if I wakeup everyday and remind myself to put off a relationship.
In fact, I really feel ready for something serious. But I haven’t found someone to join me in that venture, yet.
“I don’t think that’s a question I can answer,” I told her. “What if I don’t find someone?”
The look on her face was one of terror.
“Don’t say that!” she said.
I wasn’t trying to be outrageous, it was just a fact. There’s some sort of percentage out there that will prove my point: finding a match isn’t easy.
While my boss nor my coworker said it outright, there was a tone in their questions that rubbed me the wrong way.
What’s so terrible about being single? These women acted like me being on my own was the worst possible thing that could happen to me.
I don’t dream of being single forever. After all, I want someone to share things with, to talk to, and to fall asleep next to.
But I can’t just walk out my front door and expect to find the man of my dreams on one knee (if it were only that easy).
Instead, I’m going to work on a social campaign that outlaws coupled folks to ask singletons about their singleness. Frankly, it’s rude and no one’s business.
No matter how many sexy details I reveal on my blog or through this column, stop asking me why I’m single or why I don’t have kids yet.
It’s a collection of questions I don’t have answers for, and for about three seconds, it makes me question my self worth.
That’s the thing about singletons: we know we’re worth more than dating just to date.
If there’s one thing that’s sadder than being single, it’s settling. And I refuse to do it.
Lately, I have been basically living off protein bars. Seriously. I take them to work and eat one when I don’t have time to break for an entire meal, or just pack them in my lunchbox so that when I do sit down to eat, I can get protein without the use of a fridge or a microwave.
Of course, there are some protein bars that are healthier than others, and I’m always trying to find healthy ones that taste great, without breaking the bank, of course.
Recently, I discovered Shanti Bars, which are the first EVER paleo-friendly bars I’ve seen! Not only are they paleo, but they’re also 100% organic, raw, vegan, gluten-free, and plant-based. They are handcrafted in sunny Miami, Florida, and made with non-GMO ingredients and NO preservatives — this is really, really amazing for a protein bar.
I got the variety pack, which included one bar of each flavor: coconut, goji, spirulina, goldenberry, cacao, mulberry, and turmeric.
I haven’t had ALL of the bars yet, but so far, Goldenberry and Coconut are my faves. Here’s why I’m loving the Goldenberry:
A zesty nut-free blend of super seeds mixed with a refreshing splash of lemon.
Each bite of the Shanti Goldenberry Protein bar is packed with vitamins, minerals, antioxidants and other life-giving properties that heal, energize and rejuvenate the body and the mind. With 17 grams of plant based protein, this bar is perfect as a meal replacement or post workout recovery. Shanti Goldnberry Protein bar is jam packed with nutrient rich ingredients such as goldenberries, chia seeds and hemp seeds ready to boost your immunity and strength. To make it even more filling and fueling we added a bit of organic rice protein.
And the Coconut:
A satisfying combination of creamy coconut and sweet almonds.
Shanti Coconut Energy bar is packed with nutrients, bursting with flavor and life-giving ingredients like coconut and maca. It has all that you need to give you the burst of energy and all the health benefits your body needs. This energy bar provides 7g of plant-based protein. Coconut is not only delicious and creamy, it is also known as a fat burning agent. Think of coconut as your ally in energy. Delicious, nutritious and fat burning.
Yum! I love the chewy texture of the bars, plus the fresh taste. Very delicious! A perfect, guilt-free snack or even a meal replacement. Finally, a healthy option for someone on-the-go!
I picked up a copy of Maine during a library trip — I had written down a list of authors I wanted to check out and J. Courtney Sullivan was definitely one of them.
Maine is Sullivan’s second novel (the first one is Commencement), and it’s got all the good stuff rolled into one: the story of a multi-generational family, each with its own set of problems. What brings them together, aside from family, is the family-owned beach property, purchased decades prior.
The book is divided into chapters (naturally), but each chapter is told by the perspective of a different family member — I LOVE it when authors do this! The New York Times book review of Maine does a great job of wrapping the characters up in a neat little package:
Alice, the widowed, 83-year-old matriarch, a devoted Catholic and fierce but lonely woman who is haunted by a tragedy in her past; Alice’s granddaughter Maggie, a fiction writer living in Brooklyn whose first collection of stories was about “love gone awry” (and who, though she was supposed to arrive in Maine with her boyfriend, has instead shown up solo, and pregnant, love having gone awry yet again); Maggie’s mother, Kathleen, the black sheep of the family, who on hearing of her daughter’s predicament hops a plane from California even though she vowed after her father’s death that she would never visit Maine again; and Ann Marie, the fastidious, tightly wound wife of Kathleen’s brother, Patrick, whose carefully constructed marriage is not all it seems to be.
Because of the different-character chapter setup, the story really dives into the lives and the history of each character, which is really interesting.
I found an interesting article in Real Simple where Sullivan answered questions about the book. In one, she discussed the deeper meaning of Maine:
Maine is a novel about the roles we play within a family—in the eyes of the Kellehers, Kathleen will always be a mess. But to people in the worm farming and AA communities, she’s something of a leader. And the same is true for Alice. Her kids see her as someone who is too old to be trusted alone, a mean drunk, a racist. But through her church, she prays each day, she visits the sick, she fights to keep her hometown parish alive. Her church community sees her as she wants to be seen. As both Alice and Kathleen show, sometimes it’s much easier to be graceful and generous to outsiders than to your own family.
Fascinating! I have to admit, I didn’t even think about it this way when I was reading the book. Truthfully, I picked up the book, because I have always loved the idea of a beach home that’s shared by a big family — the memories and the drama surrounding it. Plus… beach picnics. With wine.
I am really looking forward to reading other books by Sullivan, including Commencement (a sparkling tale of friendship and a fascinating portrait of the first generation of women who have all the opportunities in the world, but no clear idea about what to choose), The Engagements (an exhilarating novel about Frances Gerety, the real pioneering ad woman who coined the famous slogan “A Diamond is Forever,” and four unique marriages that will test how true—or not—those words might be), and Dating Up (a guide for women everywhere who have worked hard to get where they are in their lives and their careers and deserve to be challenged, excited, and supported).
Posted in Light Pulp
Tags: authors, books, college, Commencement, dating, drinking, engagement, ex boyfriends, family, fighting, first date, getting published, good reads, Holly A. Phillips, How to Make Lemonade, J. Courtney Sullivan, library, Maine, reading, relationships, The Bitter Lemon, writing
Another Friday is among us, and I can’t say I’m complaining! I’m still in the need for a hot guy, so per usual, I’ll turn to the ads of another classic fragrance — I know you know this one — Light Blue by Dolce & Gabanna.
Truthfully, I’d never worn this perfume until this week (anything for the blog). I knew it was a popular fragrance (one of the bestsellers), but I never really understood what the big deal was. I will say, though, that an ex of mine wore Light Blue for men, and it smelled fantastic.
I honestly wasn’t as impressed with the women’s version.
As described by Sephora, “A stunning perfume, overwhelming and irresistible like the joy of living. The scent is surprisingly colored with the liveliness of Sicilian citron, the happiness of Granny Smith apple, and the spontaneity of bluebells. Feminine and resolute notes are expressed with the intensity of jasmine, the freshness of bamboo, and the charm of white rose. The deep and true base embodies the character of cedarwood, the fullness of amber, and the embrace of musk.”
While you know I love a musk, I’m finding that fruity isn’t really my thing, and I definitely smelled more fruit than floral. It’s not a bad fragrance, and I can see why it’s popular: it’s light, not overbearing, and it’s a pretty generic scent.
The real downside? It doesn’t last long, at all.
I hope you’ve got a fantastic weekend in-store! I’ve got all kinds of new stories and adventures to share with you next week. As always, thank you for reading.
Every couple of years, I meet someone that makes me wish I could change a few things about myself. Often these things are impossible to change, things in my past.
About three years ago, I had a giant crush on my neighbor, John. He was incredibly sexy, even when wearing sweatpants. We bonded over our Midwest backgrounds, our love for orange cats, and one night, we stayed up through the next morning — he even played songs on his guitar.
I wished that I was his type. You know the kind: a woman who’s gorgeous at all hours, but not without makeup, impossibly thin, and always happy.
Or at least, those were the girls I always saw him with at the wine bar beside our apartment complex.
I’m not that.
I skip makeup whenever possible, and no amount of hours at the gym will ever slim my thighs. And my happiness has wavered over the years.
A few weeks ago, I met someone that got me thinking about some decisions I’ve made in the past.
On these pages, I’ve openly discussed that I was involved in an affair, and I also slept with an engaged man for almost a year.
The guy I met, he appears smart, kind, has similar interests as me, and he even plays the guitar (swoon).
The problem is, I met him at one of my regular spots — a place I go several times a week. Despite the numbers, Baton Rouge is a small town.
I teeter from not wanting to regret my past actions, to knowing that people talk. And my actions don’t speak the best of me.
If my past were different, I’d be my usual bold self, and approach him, talk to him, and maybe even text him. But whenever I see him, I fear the Scarlet Letter syndrome and hang back.
If he already thinks I’m a home-wrecking whore, then I certainly don’t want to put the nail in the coffin.
The only thing I can honestly say about my past is that I wasn’t in a good place when those decisions were made. I was leaving my happiness up to someone else, instead of myself. And the result was incredibly hurtful.
I know that everyone has a past, and it’s all about how you overcome it and make things better in the present. I know I’m in a much better place today; a happier place.
Truthfully, I’m not sure the guy in question even knows I exist. If he does, I hope he won’t judge me for my past. After all, a guy worth my time will accept me for me, mistakes and all (right?).
As a single person, it’s easy to fall into the mind trap of feeling like there must be something wrong in order to end up single.
Despite my past, I don’t think there’s anything “wrong” with me, I’m just a woman wishing to be accepted and loved.
It’s Friday, and I don’t know about you, but I could use a little dose of HOT GUY. Thank you, Abercrombie old school ads. Actually, the other day, I spritzed on a little 8 by Abercrombie and Fitch just for old time’s sake, and I was surprised at how wonderful it was.
As described by Fragrantica, “8 by Abercrombie & Fitch is a Floral Fruity fragrance for women. Top notes are clementine, mandarin orange and grapefruit; middle notes are lily, melon, amaryllis, violet and freesia; base notes are amber, musk, bourbon vanilla and vetiver.”
Believe it or not, you can still purchase a bottle of 8 in-store. As described by the Abercrombie & Fitch website, “Provocative and sexy, Perfume 8’s spicy, invigorating floral scent is always exciting. Ginger and rich peach nectar combine with subtle hints of jasmine petal for a naturally pretty fragrance that is warm, inviting and perfect for day or night.”
With that, I’m going to spritz on a little 8 and hope the men in my presence rip off their clothes.
Today, I wanted to celebrate my favorite screenwriter, John Hughes, as today would’ve been his 65th birthday! Hughes wrote two of my favorite movies — Home Alone and Ferris Bueller’s Day Off — among many others, including The Breakfast Club, Pretty in Pink, Uncle Buck, and National Lampoon’s Vacation.
He went to high school in Illinois (fellow Midwesterner!), and his high school would become the inspiration for several of his films. But before his movie career, he wrote jokes for comedians, including Joan Rivers, and also served as ad copywriter.
I’m going to do all my movies here in Chicago. The ‘Tribune’ referred to me as a ‘former Chicagoan.’ As if, to do anything, I had to leave Chicago. I never left. I worked until I was 29 at the Leo Burnett advertising agency, and then I quit to do this. This is a working city, where people go to their jobs and raise their kids and live their lives.
Vacation was his first success in written film, and Sixteen Candles was his first success as a director — it kicked off his string of movies geared around high schoolers. His biggest commercial success was Home Alone.
I’ve always loved Home Alone and Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, and it took me years to discover they were both written by Hughes, despite obvious similarities — both are set in Chicago suburbia, both focus around a character that wants to suspend his normal life, get away from his family, only to get what he wants, and realize that what he has is ultimately good. Both movies utilize intense monologues. And both movies are, of course, hilarious.
Aside from being the writer for some of my favorite movies, I look up to Hughes for writing more than 30 screenplays — I’ve wanted to get into screenwriting for a long time. I can appreciate any writer who takes what they know, even if it’s something as simple as life in high school, and turn it into a great piece of work, let alone a pop culture phenomenon.
I’d rather stir controversy than just… fade away.
—John Hughes, 1950-2009
The Oscars did a beautiful tribute to John in 2010, featuring several of the lead actors and actresses in his iconic films:
To learn more about John Hughes’ timeless films, check out Entertainment Weekly’s article, “John Hughes’ 12 Essential Films.”
Posted in Light Pulp
Tags: authors, beauty, breakup, college, college life, dating, drinking, ex boyfriends, family, Ferris Bueller, first date, getting published, heartbreak, Holly A. Phillips, How to Make Lemonade, John Hughes, life, love, Pretty in Pink, relationships, single, The Bitter Lemon, twenty-something, Uncle Buck, writing, young love
I’ve discussed a little about the trouble I’ve had with sleeping over the years. From what I remember, the trouble started during a bad breakup I had several years ago. He was cheating on me and I had these terrible nightmares of him having sex with other women. They were vivid and would wake me up during all hours of the night.
I dated someone after that, someone who could not have been worse for me. Our hours were very different, and he would say things — abusive things — to me before bed. Sometimes, the sex was scarily abusive as well. I went to sleep crying many nights when we were together. When we broke up, I felt this immense sense of freedom — I could finally sleep! And that first night, I jumped into bed early and fell into a quiet, solid sleep.
That is, until I woke up to a banging on my door. He was trying to get in. Luckily, I had already changed the locks and I was safe inside — although I was terrified.
That was almost two years ago, and since then, I’ve done a lot to try and help myself sleep better. I treated myself to an entirely new bed — frame, headboard, mattress, even new (and engraved) bedding. I’ve invested in lavender-scented everything. For Christmas, I got a diffuser for my essential oils and about an hour before bed, I turn it on to fill my bedroom with a relaxing mix.
Then, a few weeks ago, I purchased an all-natural sleeping pill from Melaleuca. I’ve been taking it at least five nights a week, and for the most part, I wakeup feeling refreshed — a feeling I’ve rarely experienced. I let a friend try the pill and he told me it gave him “weird” dreams. I hadn’t noticed that side effect.
In fact, I noticed the opposite. While I’ve been suffering from nightmares (terrifying ones that wake me up in the middle of the night), my dreams on the sleeping aid are pleasant. I had a dream a few weeks ago that I got married — granted, it was to someone I went to high school with that I never talk to, but it still beats night terrors.
Over the weekend, I had a very weird dream, though not entirely unpleasant. It started off as a date, a date with this guy who goes to my gym. We’ve never talked and I’m pretty sure he doesn’t even know my name. Nonetheless, he’s attractive.
We go on this date, which was at a BBQ place I think, and he was on his phone texting most of the date. When I called him out on it, he said I was the one who put myself in “lonely situations every day.” We left, and when I went to my car, my dad pulled up.
Now, my dad is a subject I’ve avoided on this blog, and I’m still not quite ready to venture there just yet. But, I haven’t seen my dad in a long time, nor have I talked to him. When he got out of his car, in my dream, it sure did look just like him, and he told me he was worried about me.
He hugged me, and I cried tears of joy. The hug felt so real. It was a feeling I’ve never experienced. I woke up mid-hug, and although I wasn’t crying, I was overwhelmed with emotion. I really felt like my dad and I just hugged — have you ever experienced a dream that felt real?
The more open I am about my sleeping troubles, the more I learn that a lot of people have trouble sleeping. While it doesn’t work every time, I do try and “wind down” at the end of the night — turning off some lights, watching light TV with the volume on low, and refraining from drinking. Reading, or drinking a relaxing tea also helps me.
Of course, maintaining a healthy diet and partaking in regular exercise also helps with a good sleeping pattern. What are your tips for sleeping soundly?
For the last month, I’ve been trying to get back into a somewhat healthy routine. When I worked Monday-Friday, 9-5, it was pretty easy for me to meal plan, pack my lunch, and hit the gym every day at 5:15.
But my schedule is so different everyday now, and slowly, I’m finding ways to make it to the gym, but more importantly, eat food that’s good for me, and food that I can eat when I’m at work (where there is no break room, no fridge, and no microwave). I do have a nice lunchbox/cooler, so I can at least pack fresh things, but it’s often not a “meal” — I do better if I just leave it up to healthy snacks all day.
Here’s some of the snacks I’ve tried, and enjoyed, and hopefully it will help you stock your fridge and pantry with some healthier, and easy snack options.
Southwestern Corn & Black Bean Salad
- 1 can sweet corn kernels, drained
- 1 can black beans, rinsed & drained
- 1 tb fresh cilantro, minced
- 2 tb chopped red onion
- 1 Roma tomato, diced
- 1/2 tsp cumin
- 1 tsp hot sauce
- Juice of 1 lime
Combine all ingredients and chill before serving. Easy, right? I like to eat this with Beanitos chips, or on top of a grilled chicken breast. You could also mix it in with some quinoa. It’s good to double the recipe so you’ll have plenty. If you’re feeling spicy, chop 1 jalapeno and mix it in.
Fresh Blueberry Chicken Salad With Almonds
- 2 whole chicken breasts, cooked
- 1/2 c chopped red onion
- 1 tb rice vinegar
- 1/2 c minced green onion
- 1/4 c chopped flat leaf parsley
- 1/2 c dried cranberries
- 1 c fresh blueberries
- 1/2 c plain Greek yogurt
- 2 tb low-fat mayonnaise
- 1/4 c sweet mustard
- 1/4 c toasted almonds
Dice chicken breasts and place in a bowl. Sprinkle red onion with rice vinegar and toss into bowl. Add the green onion, parsley, cranberries, and blueberries; fold into the mix. In a separate bowl, mix the mayo, yogurt, and mustard. Fold into chicken mix. Garnish with toasted almonds. This is delicious on its own, or in a wrap. Be careful eating with crackers — don’t want to overdo it!
Protein Bars are a must-have in my pantry. They are easy to bring to work, filling, and they often satisfy my sweet cravings. However, it’s tough to find good ones if you’re not paying attention. Plus, they can be expensive. I always look for sales (my grocery store often has them on sale for $1 each).
Feel free to make your own — check out this recipe — or, you can purchase them, just be sure to check the labels. Here are some of my favorites:
- Think Thin High Protein Bar – 20g protein (Brownie Crunch & Creamy Peanut Butter are my faves)
- Clif Bar Builder’s Bar – 20g protein (Chocolate Mint…YUM)
- Luna Protein Bar – 12g protein (Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough)
I also have a go-to protein powder: ChocoRite. It’s less than $15 for a bag, tastes great as a shake (I like to buy a bag of the Peanut Butter and one bag of the Fudge Brownie and mix them), plus it has 24g of protein in one shake .
Other snack ideas:
- Apple with peanut or almond butter
- Hummus and veggies (carrots, bell pepper, cucumber)
- Cottage cheese and tomato (or fruit if you’ve got a sweet tooth)
- Rice cake with nut butter, unsweetened coconut, and dried fruit
- Hard-boiled eggs
- Low-fat string cheese
- Dried edamame
- Soy nuts
What are some of your favorite healthy snacks?
As a child, Valentine’s Day was marked with gifts. There was a party at school, my dad would buy something for my mom, and my parents would get me one of those heart-shaped boxes of truffles.
Since then, my parents divorced, my dad decided that Valentine’s Day was “just for women,” and he quit talking me to altogether.
As an adult, I’ve spent several Februaries being bitter that I didn’t have a Valentine, until one year, I did.
It was many years ago, my boyfriend and I joined each other on his back stoop, drinking wine from a liter bottle. Eventually, I got drunk and decided climbing his fence was a superb idea — I ended up falling, but he was there to catch me.
I was so in love with him, and I’m certain I haven’t loved someone quite that much since. I didn’t need a gift; I just wanted his company.
Though it didn’t last for us, I’ve spent recent Februaries reminding myself that love comes in many forms — romantic love is just one of them.
Last year, I went on a first date Valentine’s Day night. It was probably a terrible curse, considering the kiss at the end of the date was one of the worst I’ve ever had.
But, there’s something to be said about celebrating the holiday, even if you’re single. After all, I hate feeling left out.
Valentine’s Day falls on a Saturday this year, meaning every decent food joint in the city will be packed with couples. Skip the smooch-fest and do something you like instead — see a movie, hit the spa, or invite your friends over for dinner.
This year, I decided to tell those in my life how much I love them by way of homemade Valentines. I remember how fun it was to get little red and pink cards as a kid, so why not bring that joy back?
A trip to Hobby Lobby, a pound of glitter later, and I’d made cards for my coworkers, my workout partners, my friends, and maybe a crush (or two).
I owe one to Papa Murphy’s for making those heart-shaped pizzas every February, too. I adore them.
These are the people in my life, and if they weren’t there, I’d be one sad gal. We don’t say it enough.
And if you’re reading this, I love you, too. If I had your address, I’d mail you one of my crafty cards.
If you’re lucky enough to have romantic love in your life this Valentine’s Day, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little envious.
But hey, there’s always next year. Just be sure to tell them how much you love them; because romantic love, the good, honest kind, is rare and special.
On Valentine’s Day, I haven’t quite decided what I’ll do. I might have to work, maybe I’ll hit the gym, or perhaps I’ll indulge in something sweet. Regardless, it’s just another day in my life — a life I think I’m finally starting to love.
Every year around the holidays, it seems like everyone I know — who’s not already married — is getting engaged. Of course, if it wasn’t for social media, I probably wouldn’t know about 85% of these said proposals, but it’s 2015 and I guess I’ve got reality to deal with.
The thing is, I’m not quite sure which came first: social media or the extravagant proposals? It’s the tree in the forest question — if there’s not 1,000+ people around to see him pop the question, did it actually happen? And my other question: what’s with everyone’s perfect outfits and freshly-mani’d nails? Do you always dress like that or did you have a hunch something special was coming? Because, as I type this, my nails are chipped and my hair is still sweaty from the gym. Not cute.
I will say, that of all these crazy-cool big production proposals, one stands out from a few years ago:
No, seriously, I cry every time I watch it. I don’t know if it’s because I’m just a sap, or what — I really think knowing how much work and time that took on everyone’s part is just incredible and very, very sweet.
My views on proper proposals have changed over the years; much like my views on relationships and marriage have changed. At a young age — when I thought I’d be married by 25 — I dreamed that a guy would totally embarrass himself in order to pop the question. As in, do it in front of some monumental crowd and recite a speech about how amazing I was.
Meh. These days, I try not to think about a proposal in my life. Truthfully, I’m beginning to think I’ll never be quite that lucky — and at some point, I’ll come to terms with that.
But, if I had my way, I’d really want a proposal that reflected our relationship. Perhaps he’d ask me over our morning coffee (I’d be in my sparkly, plaid slippers), or maybe he’d get down on one knee during an evening walk. Maybe, he’d ask me over delivered pizza — as we sat on the floor of our first home, just before moving in.
It’s such an intimate moment, and a very big question, that I’m not sure I’d want many people (if anyone) around. But hey, I probably need to focus on a different kind of question from a guy before I think about a proposal… like, “Wanna grab dinner Friday?”
If you had a New Year’s resolution to workout more, get fit, lose weight, etc., now’s probably the time you’re losing a little steam on the motivation front, right? Because of my career-change, my schedule changed with it, and I took a solid month (okay, more like five weeks) off in order to adjust.
But, for the last month, I’ve been back at it, hitting the gym 3-4 times a week. Most of the time, I’m able to take a kickboxing class, but sometimes I just have to snag a bike or a treadmill and get some movement in.
A lot of people tell me they wish they were as motivated as I am. I’ll tell you this: I don’t think I’m more motivated than the next. I still have to convince myself to go to the gym. But you know what? The gym only takes an hour or so out of my day (3-4 hours out of my whole week), and it helps me perform better in other areas of my life — I can actually stand on my feet for an 8-hour shift at work, and I sleep better when I’m on a regular workout regimen. And working out helps me make healthier food choices: I don’t want to ruin the hours I put in at the gym just for a greasy meal.
On the days when I’ve got to come up with my own workout, I can say that music helps me push through it when I don’t have a trainer motivating me. I pick songs that make me want to dance, and sometimes, dancing in my living room IS my workout! I really like to get into the singing part, too, so sorry neighbors. Here are some songs I’ve been burning calories to lately, and who knows, maybe they’ll help you, too! Got any good songs I should add to my list? Let me know!
Confident by Justin Bieber
Don’t hate! Everyone knows I’ve got a super crush on The Biebs, and just about ANY one of his songs gets my blood pumpin’, but this one has a fantastic beat. If I could properly pop-n-lock, I would. Instead I just pedal really fast.
Crazy by Kat Dahlia
This is the first I’ve heard from Kat Dahlia, and I’m loving it! This song has great lyrics (“Is it crazy that I keep your shirt right here, just to smell your cologne?”), and a mix of hip-hop and pop. I love her raspy voice, too!
High Society by Betty Who
This one’s a little slower, so it might be good for a cool-down, however it’s still hella fun! It reminds me of an 80’s song — and I love 80’s dance music. If you like this song, check out her entire collection; it’s all fantastic!
2 On by Tinashe
This one never gets old. I’ve pretty much got no idea what it means (something drug related), but I love the beat and how it changes up throughout the song. It makes me want to wear red lipstick — while I’m working out!
This is How We Do by Katy Perry
This one’s a tad cheesy, but it reminds me of being in college, and in college… I danced a lot at Fred’s (NO shame!). Which means, I’ve got no problem getting my dance on to this one!
Love More by Chris Brown, feat. Nicki Manaj
Chris Brown — my guilty pleasure! I know he’s a bad boy, but I just love his music — dance worthy, for sure. This one also has an awesome breakdown with Nicki, and once you see the video, you won’t be able to get these dance moves out of your head.
Lip Are Movin by Meghan Trainor
Everyone dogs on Meghan Trainor, but her songs are fun, flirty, and they get stuck in my head. I definitely love the beat of this one; perfect for dancing in the kitchen and/or running on the treadmill.
A Milli by Lil Wayne
An oldie but a goodie! This is one of my favorite Weezy songs (Go DJ is my favorite) because I love the cocky lyrics, plus it has a fantastic beat with heavy bass that I love cranking up in my car (CATCH me at a red light when this is on). It’s a good one to listen to pre-workout — there’s just no way you can sit still to this one.
Work Bitch by Britney Spears
Is there a workout playlist that DOESN’T feature Britney? Okay, probably, but she’s fun, plus, listening to this gets me thinking about the killer shape she’s in… and I want abs like Britney has!
Beautiful by Mali Music
This is definitely a slower song, but I am obsessed! I love sweet songs, and this one is like a love ballad put to a beat. I heard this one at work about a month ago, and I always get so amped when it comes on. Get a few vinyasas in with this one!
Posted in Light Pulp
Tags: authors, beauty, Britney Spears, college, dating, ex boyfriends, fighting, first date, fitness, getting published, Holly A. Phillips, How to Make Lemonade, justin bieber, life, love, motivation, relationships, sex, single, The Bitter Lemon, twenty-something, workout playlist
This weekend, I finally got around to doing something I’ve wanted to do for a long time: I made Valentines!
As February crept around, I realized that I’ve spent way too many Februaries being pissed or upset that I didn’t have romantic love in my life to celebrate the holiday with.
Some years it bothered me less than others, some years I gathered with other single friends to drown our sorrows in alcohol. There were some years that I actually did have a boyfriend, but we never did it big — no roses, fancy dinners, chocolates, or even cards.
A few Februaries ago, I started wondering why it’s all such a big deal? Sure, it would be nice to get flowers, get dressed up and remind each other how much love we have for one another.
But that would be nice on any day.
So, I decided, perhaps many months ago, that I was not going to be sad on Valentine’s Day this year. I’ve been single for almost two years now, and though there are times I wish for someone to share my life with, there’s a lot of other things I’m grateful for.
Of course, I’m thankful for my friends and family. But I’m also thankful for the people I get to see everyday — my coworkers and my trainers — two groups of people that inspire me to be the best (granted, in different ways). And then there’s those people I don’t get to see, some I haven’t even met: my readers!
In order to show my love and appreciation for the ones I love, I ventured to Hobby Lobby and spent a few hours going up and down the aisles, collecting items to make my Valentines. I ended up with various pages of printed paper, heart stickers, red and pink ribbon, and of course, glitter.
Between shifts at work, I sat at my dining table and crafted about two-dozen original cards. While I was at it, I watched some festive movies: When Harry Met Sally, The Fault in Our Stars, and 500 Days of Summer.
And though it sounds cheesy, it made me feel good knowing that maybe something small I did will make someone else smile. Sometimes, happiness comes easy, but I know for most people, it doesn’t come often.
Some of my cards will be hand-delivered this week, others have already been mailed (California, Indiana, Tennessee, Kansas, I’m talking to YOU!). And I may or may not have mailed one to John Mayer… Because… soulmate.
On Saturday, actual Valentine’s Day, I have to work at the shoe store, so chances are, I’ll be helping people get the final touches for their Valentine’s Day dates. And that’s okay. Of course, I wish I had a date, too, but I’m okay just being me.
If you’re feeling sad and/or lonely on Saturday, stop by the mall — I’ll give you a hug, a chocolate-covered strawberry, and let you try on some shoes. Shit, let’s get drinks. Let’s do whatever makes us happy, because that’s all that matters.
One of the best parts about my job as a journalist is being able to meet all kinds of different people; hear their stories; their struggles and triumphs. In the mix, I often end up in spots I wouldn’t normally be.
A few weeks ago, I was in a flower shop, talking to a man as he made corsages. He had a stack of “about 50″ corsages and boutonnieres to make for a local school’s winter formal the following day. As I watched, I remembered my high school dances, my dates (very rare), and that oh-so-awkward moment of exchanging corsages and boutonnieres — I always made my mom pin it on the guy.
“I’ve kept all of my corsages,” I admitted. He gave me the one-eyebrow.
“Seriously?” he asked.
Yes, of course I had. Those were moments I treasured. Sometimes, thinking about the past really gets in my way. When I find myself drifting back, I attempt to put the thoughts away, and focus on the present. Don’t keep living in the past, right?
What’s interesting about my bouts of reminiscing, is that of course, I hated everything when it was happening. Growing up in Columbus, Indiana was so lame at the time — though I did enjoy cruising on country roads.
To me, to us, Columbus didn’t have a clue. There was a bigger world outside of “The Bus” and I was going to find it, conquer it, and never look at Columbus again. But when I moved to Louisiana, I quickly realized the things I took for granted.
At Columbus North High School, I got a fantastic education. One that would cost a Baton Rougean thousands of dollars (seriously). At a school where I felt like I didn’t really fit in, I got plenty of opportunities to express myself — through dance, through the school newspaper, and through freedom of dress.
When I moved, I quickly missed the comforts of Columbus’ chain restaurant diet — Steak n’ Shake and Red Lobster were top on my list. And did you know that more people cram themselves into the Columbus North gym to see the Bulldogs play ball than at Louisiana State University?
I wasn’t sure if it was just the corsages that brought on my memories; after all, I’ve thought a lot about what it was like to be “young” lately, perhaps it’s just my looming 30th birthday. But then I caught a glance of #JoshStrong on my Twitter feed.
From my trail of research, I gathered that one of our own, a Columbus North High School senior, Josh Speidel, was severely injured in a car crash. At the time of this writing, Speidel has been in the hospital for five days, asleep, as the doctors attempt to keep his brain from swelling.
Though there haven’t been many details released about the crash, or his injuries, I know that scenario all too well. As a Columbus North High School student, I got phone calls with bad news too many times.
During those times of loss or stress, pre-social media, we did anything possible to deal with our grief. We wrote on tree stumps and sidewalks. We wore matching t-shirts at the big game. We asked the announcer for moments of silence.
Facebook appeared when I was a freshman in college, and it changed my college experience. I have always wondered what it’s been like for youth in this social-media age. High school was tough enough without crafting status updates and posting Friday night photo albums.
But when I see #JoshStrong, a hashtag I’ve been obsessively following, I see my hometown rising up, rallying behind Speidel and his family. It’s a sight that — even from afar — gives me chills. Naturally, Speidel’s friends and family have taken to social media to post their thoughts, and any medical updates on his current state.
But it’s more than that.
From what I’ve read, Speidel is that guy. You know the one. The basketball star (he currently holds the record for scoring), good in school, all-around good guy. He’s the kind of guy I totally would have crushed on in high school, just hoping for a wave in the hallway that I’d dream about for weeks.
A verbal-commit for Vermont, his future team and coach sent him a get well message that went viral. Then, Columbus North students put together a pasta dinner in the school cafeteria to raise money for his medical bills — raising more than $8,000.
Then there was the game against Hamilton Southeastern — the first game the Bulldogs would play without their star. And Hamilton Southeastern showed up wearing Speidel’s number. Even the hometown rival, Columbus East, wore blue (Bulldog colors) in support of North. The cheerleaders got the whole gym in a “Josh Strong” chant.
It’s not a moment I’ve seen at a college game.
It’s made me think a lot about my hometown; a place that’s somehow risen above a significant amount of loss over the years. I sure would trade a lot to spend another Friday night in that gym, for the big game against East.
To CNHS, if you’re reading this, I know everyone is telling you not to grow up quite so fast. And maybe, you’re thinking of leaving and never looking back. Getting out there is good, but I know you’ll miss something about it once you’ve jumped on 65, or hit the hills for Bloomington.
So before you go, get one more pineapple-Sprite from Zaharako’s. Sink your heals into the midnight sand at the Marina. Cruise Washington, windows down, at sunset. Tell me you don’t fall in love.
Columbus ain’t bad. But I realized it ten years too late. I’m really hoping Speidel makes it out okay. I want to know what it’s like when he sees how he’s affected his town for the better. #JoshStrong is what happens when hearts of children rally for one of their own.
That is love.
Posted in The Squeeze
Tags: #JoshStrong, authors, college, college life, Columbus, Columbus North High School, dating, drinking, ex boyfriends, family, first date, getting published, heartbreak, Holly A. Phillips, How to Make Lemonade, Indiana, Josh Speidel, life, love, motivation, relationships, sex, single, The Bitter Lemon, twenty-something, young love