Blog Archives

WYSK: Joan Rivers.

Joan, in complete glitz.

Joan, in complete glitz.

I know I’m a little late to the party on celebrating the life of the one and only Joan Rivers. Originally, I was going to use this edition of WYSK to talk about my two favorite Total Dives: Nikki & Brie Bella. But I changed my mind, and decided to talk about a different kind of diva.

I have always been a Joan Rivers fan, but a few weeks ago, I got in a bit of trouble at work when I said some things on my (personal) Twitter feed that (allegedly) a lot of my coworkers didn’t appreciate. It was not the first time I’ve been reprimanded for my mouth (or my writing).

I was told I should be ashamed to even show up to work.

For about five seconds, I wondered if I should be ashamed. But then, I thought of Joan. I woman who answered to no one, and would never let someone (no matter who) tell her how to feel. And no, I’m not ashamed, nor am I apologetic.

Joan Rivers was the only woman to ever host The Tonight Show, and as she was described in Nell Scovell’s article for Vanity Fair, she was undeniable. She was also: hilarious, glamorous, daring, giving, hard working, and bold.

“When people hate me, that’s good,” she told the A.V. Club. “They know I’m there. You’re not a chorus kid. Remember inA Chorus Line, she’s having trouble and he keeps saying, ‘You’re standing out,’ and she’s trying not to? They hate me? That’s good.” 

—Joan Rivers, for Time magazine

There are so many accomplishments behind her, it’s difficult to remember them all — she was a comic, a writer and an author (12 best-sellers), an actress, a designer, award-winner, a fashionista (changing the red carpet game forever with the question: who are you wearing?), and a reality television star.

I’m certain there will never be anyone quite like Joan — and I’m thankful for her. Even though she hated being called a pioneer, we can never have enough powerful women to look up to.

I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking.

—Joan Rivers

End of Summer GIVEAWAY!

Farewell, summer...

Farewell, summer…

I know we still have (technically) another few weeks of summer left, but tomorrow I’m leaving for the beach with my two best friends, to bid another summer adieu.

Although I didn’t find love this summer, it was a good one — and fall is really my favorite time of year. Perhaps this fall will bring me some luck in the love department. Either way, I’m counting down the days until my book release — September 22 — the official start of fall!

I want to continuously thank you all for reading my blog, my column, listening to me rant and whine as I continue on my search for true love, and happiness within.

And so, with that, I’m giving away one of my Bitter Lemon TRUCKER HATS (#CatLady) — I’ve got a green one and a red/white/blue one that the winner can choose from!

Here’s how to enter. Leave a comment on this post telling me your favorite memory from this summer. Post the comment by Thursday morning (anytime before noon central time) and I’ll randomly pick a comment/writer to win a trucker hat.

Can’t wait to read all of your memories — happy commenting!

Pic of the Week.

LOVE getting my own books in the mail!

LOVE getting my own books in the mail!

Saturday, the mailman dropped a delivery that made my WEEK — a box of my books arrived!

I work really hard on all of my books, but I still get really nervous and excited all at once when the box arrives. For Lemon Drops, I really hoped the cover looked as great in-person as it did online… and no worries, it looks beautiful!

After drooling over the books while standing in my kitchen, I grabbed a copy and got into my bed, curling up to read it as if I hadn’t just spent months writing it.

Weird, sure.

I write, edit, design, publish, and sell all of my books on my own, and it’s a great deal of work. Granted, it is a labor of love, but it takes time and energy. When I first started doing all of this myself, I thought it wouldn’t be as satisfying if I didn’t have a big, fancy publisher and a team of marketers around me — but I’ve found that it’s all pretty exciting, even when I’m doing it on my own.

Maybe there will be a day when I’m not doing it on my own. But for now, it’s pretty cool, and I’m going to bask in it.

Be sure to visit the blog tomorrow, for a GIVEAWAY (!), and all kinds of fun surprises as I count down the days until the digital version of Lemon Drops is available. Order the printed version here

Cowboy From Drewsey.

Nothing like a cowboy out West...

Nothing like a cowboy out West…

My job as an editor has its ups and downs, but one of the coolest things I’ve been able to do in the past year, is edit manuscripts. I’ve edited all sorts of different genres, but my favorite books to edit are the romance ones, of course. While all the books I edit aren’t great, most of the time, I catch myself wondering just how I got so lucky that I can read sexy books AND get paid for it.

One of my favorite books I’ve edited was this one by Patty Ann (sweetest client), called Cowboy From Drewsey. As Amazon describes it:

A serious online relationship quickly turns tempestuous once Cairn meets Cliff. His home sits deep inside the rugged terrain of central eastern Oregon. Cowboy country challenges the city girl in Cairn, but she is determined to prove herself tough. When a drastic happenstance brings Cairn’s best friend, Kelly, to this tantalizing outback, serendipity unfolds. This is a heart felt story of second chances, renewal, and love. It is an encounter that can happen to anybody, even to you!

Not only is this book filled with some sexy scenes (I won’t judge you if you have a pack of cigarettes nearby while reading), it’s also got some unexpected twists and turns to keep you on your toes! If you’re looking for a summer read (at only $5), download it today… and leave Patty a review. She deserves it!

Pic of the Week.

Not pictured: TBL hoodie, TBL women's boy brief.

Not pictured: TBL hoodie, TBL women’s boy brief.

Finally! I just know you all have been waiting for the day when you can show the world just how much you love reading The Bitter Lemon, right? That day is finally here!

After a few months of designing, and giving myself a crash course in Photoshop, I’ve created Bitter Lemon merchandise with help from Cafe Press. Although I finalized my designs a few weeks ago, I wanted to see the merchandise in person before I promoted it.

So, I’ve seen it, and even worn it, so I can say it’s here, it’s worth it, and it’s super-cute!

What’s in the store? I’ve got trucker hats, coffee mugs, hoodies, women’s boy briefs, razorback tanks, and a football jersey inspired t-shirt. All of the clothing is printed on American Apparel pieces, so it’s comfortable, and washes well.

Cafe Press offers a TON of products that can be personalized, so if you don’t see something in my store that you’d really like to see, just let me know and I’ll whip it up! I do want to offer another design for the trucker hats, but I haven’t thought of another hashtag just yet — if you have other ideas, let me know.

Check out the store, and let me know what you think. As always, thank you for supporting The Bitter Lemon!

Book #3: Lemon Drops.

My next book, releasing Sept. 22, 2014!

My next book, releasing Sept. 22, 2014!

I’m skipping Fresh Friday this week to make an announcement: MY THIRD BOOK IS COMING YOUR WAY.

That’s right, my third book is on its way — mark your calendars for September 22, 2014, which is EXACTLY one month from today!

At that time, you’ll be able to purchase digital copies through Amazon Kindle (which can also be read on an iPad using the Kindle app), or you can order printed copies, as well.

Between now and then, stay tuned for sneak peeks and giveaways, as I’m really, really excited about this one!

…Or you could read one of my other books, How I fell or How to Make Lemonade… Just saying.

I’m calling this one my third book, because it is my third relationship memoir. However, I do have another book out, that lists and explains 50 blogging tips for beginners (I often use it to teach my blogging class).

Anyway, what is this book, Lemon Drops, all about? Basically, I wanted to release a book that had some of my poetry in it, and I also wanted a chance to be able to explain where (emotionally) the poems came from.

So, there are poems, and some explanations, and there are also short stories. Most of them you’ve never heard before, as I never thought they were monumental enough for a blog, a column, or a book — but they certainly make for good “Lemon Drop” material.

Not only did I work really hard to put this book together, but I am revealing more of myself than ever. I have always found honesty to be the best policy, but at times, some of my experiences are difficult for me to admit, even to myself.

But with this book, I did. I’m putting all of my secrets out there for you to read, and as is my hope with everything that I write — that someone, somewhere can learn from what I’ve been through as I continue on my journey.

September 22 is the first official day of fall, and the special season holds such a big place in my heart that I wanted my book release to kickstart it, and I’ll even share with you the Introduction:

As I kid, I barely noticed the seasons as they changed. There was summer, which meant sleeping in and no school. Spring made way for Spring Break, and with winter, at least there was hope for a few snow days.

But fall, fall has always held a special place in my heart. With the bittersweet closing of summer, fall meant new beginnings — a new school year, with fresh school supplies and new clothes. There were new opportunities around every corner.

I wish though, that as a kid I would have romanticized the falling leaves in Indiana the way I do now. The incredible way they paint the skies and the sidewalks all at once. I remember my parents telling me how people would flock to Brown County just to see the leaves as they changed from green to red, and I thought it was so silly.

But there are no red leaves where I live now, in Louisiana. In fact, there’s not really much of a fall season, but I still add a blanket to my bed, light pumpkin candles, and make cider — call me a dreamer.

But in my 10 years in the South, I’ve romanticized much more than changing leaves. You could say that my imagination has gotten the best of me, often taking flight without my permission.

As you open the pages to my third book, you’ll get a glimpse into my world — it is romantic, but it’s real. And I’m venturing to say that what you’re about to read is my truest self realized; imagination or not.

Once again, thank you for joining me on my continuing journey. Before, I wished for a trail of sunrises, and if I could add another thing to my list, it would be colorful leaves.

Life just isn’t the same without them.

Thanks for reading, and stay tuned for Lemon Drops!

What’s in my Gym Bag?

The dirty details of my smelly gym bag...

The dirty details of my smelly gym bag…

I had so much fun sharing all of the contents of my makeup bag with you last month, I decided to dump out my gym bag and give you the scoop on some of my favorite products I use to get my sweat on!

  1. Thirty-One Duffel (similar): My mom originally bought this bag for herself, but I loved it so much, she was nice enough to give it to me! She turned me on to Thirty-One products, and they are all durable, and so easy to clean. I love this bag because it’s big enough to fit all of my gym needs, and it even holds my giant boots in the winter!
  2. Dove Go Fresh Anti-Persperant: I bought this because I thought it would be funny to have pits that smell like cucumber & green tea! But really, Dove deodorant leaves the skin feeling soft, and it doesn’t ball up like others.
  3. Mission Sweet Vanilla Lip Balmer: This was a stocking stuffer, and it’s one of the few lip balms I’ve got that has an SPF. I don’t know what it is, but I always need to slather on some lip balm before I get started on my workout.
  4. Bic Twin Select Silky Touch Disposable Razor: I’ve never been a fan of having a single razor and just changing the blades, I like disposable ones, and Bic has always been the best for me. I buy about 30, and keep them stashed in my bathroom closet.
  5. Nike Free Athletic Running Shoes: While my usual boxing and kickboxing workouts don’t require shoes, I’ve started lifting weights and riding the stationary bike after class. Even when lifting weights, you need solid support under your feet so you wont injure your knees or lower back.
  6. Dove Hair Therapy, Revival Shampoo: Most of the time, I shower at home after the gym, but on the rare occasion that I get a lunch workout or even a morning one, I hit the gym shower, and I absolutely love the way this shampoo smells!
  7. Aussie Coconutz Conditioner: I know this is a kids conditioner, but I’m a sucker for all things coconut, and this stuff smells amazing. Plus, children’s hair products are often gentle on the hair, which is perfect for my color-treated locks.
  8. Sugar Mint Shower Gel: I got this during the holidays, mainly because I thought the owl on it was too cute to pass up, but I do love a good peppermint scent, especially after a tough workout.
  9. Scunci No-Slip Grip Jelly Ponytailers: I keep a ton of hair ties in my gym bag — they go so quickly, because my cat finds them and hides them for herself!
  10. Under Armor Performance Headband: A fellow gym-goer gave me this headband as a gift, and I can say it really stays in place. The underside is almost a rubbery material, so there’s no way it’s coming off without assistance.
  11. Fleur de Lis Cosmetic Bag (just as cute): This bag was a gift from one of my blogging students, and I keep it in my bag to hold all of my jewelry. I have a bad habit of sticking my jewelry in the bag pockets and then just letting it pile up — the removable bag is helping me to stay organized.
  12. Doterra Essential Oils (Peppermint, Lemon): I got this starter kit for my birthday, and I use the lemon oil in my water all day, including during my workouts. I also rub a little peppermint oil on my chest, as it has energizing properties and just a quick whiff of that stuff jumpstarts my boxing regimen.
  13. Ojon Color Sustain Pro: Not only does this stuff keep my color from fading, it smells like a latte. And I cannot get enough of it!

Guest Blog: Wishing for Better.

Guest Blogger, Susie

Guest Blogger, Susie

Susie Meredith is an HR professional for one of the world’s leading online retailers. She currently resides in Nashville, TN with her Golden Retriever, Sadie and her two cats, Vinny and Joey. Susie saved Vinny and Joey from a hard life in the cat-mob on the streets of Tennessee. She received her Bachelor’s in HR Development from Indiana State University and is currently working toward her Master’s in HR Management.

While obtaining her Bachelor’s she was a member of the Gamma Chi chapter of Zeta Tau Alpha where along with holding several leadership positions she also spent a significant amount of time partying hard, having fun, and playing Harvest Moon on Nintendo 64 with her roommates. Susie moved to Nashville with her family after a lifetime of living in Indiana after college and loves being a transplant Nashvillian. In her free time she is a self proclaimed TV junkie, alien movie connoisseur, and craft extraordinaire. Her motto is “If you can buy it, I can make it,” which sometimes leads to some interesting projects and meals. 

*     *     *

I’ve never been much of a “Dear Diary” kind of gal. I have always been the kind to be open and honest, but there is always a piece of me I hold back from people, and letting that piece of me out and putting it on paper gave me a sense of worry. Worry that someone would find it, read it and realize how truly vulnerable I am. My vulnerable side has only been seen by a handful of people and they have to pass my test.

Stop...can't touch this.

Stop…can’t touch this.

It’s not something I’ve ever done intentionally but it always ends up happening. Once someone gets so close to me there is something that goes off in my head and it becomes testing time. If you can handle me when I’m at my mean and nastiest and you’re still willing to be my friend afterward, then a sense of freedom washes over me and you have truly gained my trust and I never look back. You have complete access to 98% of who I am.

I’ve never understood why it’s so hard for me to be completely free with most people. Unfortunately, not everyone likes it when they finally see that side of me. It’s always interesting to see what happens, it’s like they had this image of me in their mind and I just let them down, they look at me different; like I’m less important in the world. I’ve let them realize that I am a real human on the inside with feelings and insecurities and they decided they didn’t like it. They want the Susie that is sarcastic and silly that always has a smile on her face and always has a snarky comment to make. Looking back and thinking about this piece of myself, I remember an argument I had with a sorority sister in college and she was so angry at me because I didn’t let people in. Another time I remember sitting in the living room with another sister and opening up to her and she looked at me like she understood exactly what I was giving her, she understood I was letting see the real me that few people see.

The only person I have never accidentally tested is my best friend Nikki. We met in kindergarten before the world had a chance to get its paws on me and close me up. To this day, Nikki is probably the only person outside of my parents and sister that gets to see 100% of me all the time. There have been times throughout the years where we have grown apart but we have always found our way back to each other. No matter what we’ve both had going on in life, if I needed to call her at 3AM just to hear another human’s voice she would wake up and talk to me about how everyone is obsessed with that fiber lash mascara that everyone seems to be pushing and how much it gets on my nerves.

I’m not saying that I’m anything special and that everyone should want to know every detail of my life, just dissecting myself a bit. When I finally see a friendship come to a close, I have a reflection period where I wonder where things went sour, or why they thought to just use me for what they could get out of me and then toss me away. With this information we will now embark on our next stop on the Crazyville Express.

Putting in overtime... in the love dept.

Putting in overtime… in the love dept.

Going back almost exactly three years ago, I started a new job. At this new job I met a guy, for the purposes of this blog we will call him #2. I remember seeing #2 at work and thinking “who is this dude?” He’s super outgoing and seemed to be having a blast and that was right up my alley. He was at the vending machines and had a fraternity shirt on so I walked on over and made some comment about his fraternity and we sparked up a conversation and if life went perfectly I would be telling you that #2 and I became best friends and he figured out I was the girl he’s been looking for all his life and we lived happily ever after… but we all know that I definitely don’t live the Rom-Com life.

Over the course of the next year he did become one of my best friends. He seemed to put color in a grey world. We worked night shift and worked 60 hours a week and I didn’t even care. We just had so much fun. We had a group of other folks we hung out with at work and we would have lunch, sit outside at night and enjoy the fall air and plan each other’s birthdays that we were celebrating at work, ya know… fun stuff. I guess I never realized things would completely change so quickly.

In the first year, I learned he was going through a divorce, and he would talk to me about his struggles with that. She refused to sign the paperwork even though she lived on the West Coast and their relationship was definitely over. She had put him in a very bad place making him question himself. She had lied and kept things from him that he should have known. As all relationships go I’m sure he wasn’t perfect either but its always rough when you meet a great guy and you see how another woman has put him through the ringer. It really sucks for us “normal” girls who would never ever dream of treating someone that way.

He was college educated, smart, funny and quirkily cute. People would always mention to me how great we got along and how cute we were together. I just laughed it off and moved on. I knew he was going through a divorce and that it was taking a toll on him and I didn’t want to be a reason for stress but on the inside I would have considered being more than friends with him if he was interested. But he was like my best friend; I didn’t want to ruin the fun! #2 had taken a job that was way below his level just to get his foot in the door with the company, and I was his biggest fan. I talked him up to anyone and everyone gave him advice or any insight I could without violating the confidentiality of my job. Within that first year he ended up getting promoted and moved to another building in the area; with the thoughts of him leaving I felt crushed. I realized he had made it 98% in without realizing it. Before he left we did have a conversation at some point where it somehow came up about us possibly dating and I told him that if we didn’t work together I would be interested, but the conversation didn’t go much further.

I need this keyboard.

I need this keyboard.

Toward the end of our time working together more and more people started mentioning to me how we would be perfect together and for the first time in my life, I could actually see myself being able to stand someone for longer than a few years. #2 and I would have conversations about what we were looking for in someone to be with and we would pretty much describe each other every time. At one point I had considering going on Match.com and did one of their free weekend deals and his sister-in-law had put him on there and he showed up as a 100% match for me.

At that point I started feeling irritated about it and a little rejected but I made myself let it go. He owed me nothing and I was incredibly happy for him with his promotion. If I remember correctly he either messaged me or called me specifically to tell me that his wife had finally signed the papers and he was officially a free man. A piece of me hoped that he would open his eyes and see what was in front of him. When he left he promised me that we wouldn’t stop being friends and we would hang out, and I believed him.

Time passed and he went through all his training and came back to open his building. I didn’t press hanging out too much because I know how busy opening a building can be. One day I was asked to go to the building to help them out and I was excited, I would get to see one of my best friends again. What I didn’t expect was that he seemed to not have much interest in speaking with me. It was awkward and I don’t know why. I sent him a message and mentioned that it was weird and he just threw a yeah my way, told me he was busy and went on.

It would be an understatement to say my feelings were hurt, as I drove myself home from work that night, I cried.

The one person who had finally penetrated the barrier that promised me he wasn’t using me to get ahead had rejected me. After that I shook off my feeling of being rejected and chalked it up to being busy or in a new environment. I went to the building once more while he was there and got my hopes up just to be crushed again. I was talking to one of my peers and he came up and had this huge conversation with her and barely recognized my existence. I cried again on my way home. After that I didn’t volunteer to go to his building. I actually dodged it like the plague. I felt stupid, used, and like one of the middle school girls that is crushing on the high school boy. I text him once more that winter asking him when we were going to hang out and he yelled at me.

Time passes and hearts heal. I had damaged my reputation hanging out with him so much and hadn’t realized it so I spent a good year of my career building my reputation and becoming model HR professional. I was in a meeting one day and one of the manager mentioned that #2 had just left work one day and never came back. It seemed so unlike him, someone who was hard working and strived for excellence. He had worked so hard for that promotion I really struggled to believe that he would just abandon it. Everyone was making up their version of what happened so I decided to reach out to him. I first tried to text him but never received a text back.

STFU.

STFU.

A few days later I sent him a message on Facebook and he responded. He had gotten a new phone so he never received the message. We never really talked or texted on the phone so I didn’t think much of it. He told me had been diagnosed with an ailment and had moved back in with his parents and was working toward getting his health back on track. Then it all started coming back, he was cracking jokes and being silly and I started laughing again, like really laughing not the fake laugh you do to pacify people. It felt so good and I remembered why I considered him a good friend.

We chatted back and forth quite a bit, I never got a hope that he would suddenly want to explore a relationship but I thought maybe I’ll get my friend back. We are both big TV junkies so we always have a stuff to chat about. He later ended up resigning from his position and was looking for another job. Thinking my good friend was back I immediately offer to help. My mother works in HR as well and I had him send me his resume so I could pass it along to her as they were looking for some folks with his experience. I knew he would be excellent in the interview, and of course he got the job.

I was over the moon excited for him. But this is where things took a weird turn. My mother had to leave the company unexpectedly and it was like because she wasn’t there speaking to me was irrelevant. From what I’ve been told he showed up for one or two days of work then never returned back. I messaged him on Facebook and asked him how the new job was going and received no response.

That was almost two months ago.

And I am reminded yet again why I don’t let people in. As much as I hated that his ex-wife had treated him the way he had tainting him for other women, he in turn did the same thing to me. He made me less trusting in the opposite sex. And now I’m mad and thinking back at the signs I should have seen long ago. Not only did he promise we wouldn’t lose contact, he didn’t care that he hurt my feelings. He changed his phone number and when I asked him about it didn’t volunteer to give me his new one, he made our only form of communication through Facebook. I gave and gave and gave to him and all he did was take from me until he couldn’t get anything else.

Meow.

Meow.

I think about the wedding I asked him to go to with him as friends, he refused. He said he had plans with his mother, who he was living with. I asked him if he wanted to go out with a group of friends for my 30th birthday and he also turned me down. He always has a lame ass excuse. Maybe I don’t realize how I come across once people reach that 98%. Maybe I’m thinking I’m being a good friend and he’s just sitting there thinking I’m that annoying unattractive girl in middle school that the boys play tricks on and laugh behind their back. I’ve never seen myself as that but maybe I’m missing the mark. I have my faults both physically and emotionally, but I refuse to believe I’m that girl.

Getting over the feeling of being duped and used has been the hardest. I let someone in who I didn’t see who they really are, and I’d like to believe I’m a better judge of character than that. Sometimes the boy-friends are just as difficult to navigate as the boyfriends. I’m mad at myself for wasting time and emotion on someone who did not reciprocate and who ultimately must not deserve me. It’s hard to think someone could use someone like that then walk away from them so easily.

I gained nothing but a life lesson out of this friendship, maybe that’s all I’ll ever have. In time maybe I’ll understand how you can go from being best friends with someone, thinking you could actually see a future with them to absolutely nothing. But a part of me never wants to understand how you can treat someone like that and so easily walk away. I wish him nothing but the best in life, well maybe not the best but nothing bad at least. But I wish me better.

Oh, and I’m still waiting to receive that ‘Happy 30th Birthday’ on Facebook… because ya know that’s the only form of communication.

If you would like to get in touch directly with Susie you can e-mail her at pumpkinpie8784@gmail.com or find her on Facebook. Read her other guest blog: From Friendzone to Fetishville part 1 & part 2.   

Pic of the Week.

This tiny meal is diet-friendly.

This tiny meal is diet-friendly.

 Last Thursday night, my friend Marcy and I tried a little something different for our usual girls’ night — a try at the popular “Poppin’ Cookin’.” In particular, I purchased the hamburger set (that looks eerily similar to that of McDonalds).

What is Poppin Cookin? It’s a Japanese phenomenon, in which people like myself get great pleasure out of not only making very tiny food, but cooking it from packets of powder. No, seriously.

My obsession with Poppin Cookin started months ago, when one a popular video blogger posted a series of videos of her and her friends making all of these tiny concoctions — there were mini donuts, little sushi (made of candy, mind you), a teeny layer-cake, baby gummies, and microscopic waffles.

I was mesmerized.

It's supposed to look like this...

It’s supposed to look like this…

I immediately ordered the burger/fry kit, and it took nearly six weeks (!) for it to arrive. Once it arrived, I waited for Marcy to come over before really taking a look at the package… and once I did, we discovered that indeed ALL of the instructions were in Japanese. Stupid me, I thought there’d be a cheat guide on the inside, but nope.

So we had two options: wing it, or learn Japanese in an hour.

Okay, so there was a third option: watch a YouTube video. And that’s what we did. Meanwhile, we still got some of the powder packets mixed up, which left us with buns made of the potato and fries made of bun bread.

But hell, it all still tasted EXACTLY like McDonald’s, which was cool, until I started picturing the employees dumping giant bags of powder into a vat to make fries. Blech.

Anyway, even though it didn’t turn out exactly like the picture on the box, I give us props. It was our first time poppin cookin, and I think we did a pretty stellar job.

Next? I think the donuts are in order.

Things I’ve Learned From “Sex & The City”

Hello, lover.

Hello, lover.

The first time I watched Sex & The City, I was a junior in high school, visiting Miami of Ohio, staying with my ex-boyfriend’s sister (oddly enough, we share the same birthday). At the time, I didn’t think much about it, and I know I drifted off to sleep without realizing that I’d just witnessed a cultural phenomenon.

Sex & The City premiered on HBO in 1998, and ran 94 episodes until 2004. Based off the book, Sex & The City by Candace Bushnell, the series followed four women as they lived, worked, and dated (and sexed) in New York City.

If you can recall, ’98 was the year of Clinton-Lewinsky, and sex was still pretty taboo. Aside from The Mary Tyler Moore Show, I’d venture to say that Sex & The City is the move that made it okay for women to openly discuss their wants, needs — in and outside — of the bedroom.

So yes, even a television show has taught me a couple of things:

  • Everyone has a Mr. Big. Okay, so maybe it’s not someone who breaks your heart multiple times, proposes to you, stands you up on your wedding day, and then finally decides to marry you… but I do believe everyone has someone who was a great love — maybe it worked out, maybe it didn’t — but they remain somewhere in your heart, forever.
  • Friendships can (and should be) judgment-free. This is probably one of my favorite things about watching Sex & The City; the women are (for the most part) pretty open to each other, and are non-judgy. As cheesy as it sounds, it’s taught me to be more open with my friends and in return, I’ve learned that they really do accept me for who I am.
  • Bald guys CAN make good husbands. Call me crazy, but I seriously love Harry. Trey was such a loser (aside from that fabulous apartment), and it makes me so happy watching Harry and Charlotte fall in love. She wanted a perfect guy, and she certainly got him!
  • Even the fabulous, fight. I don’t just mean fighting in relationships or friendships, I mean in life. All of the characters go through their own, personal journeys — specifically Samantha, when she battles breast cancer, and it’s inspirational to see her do it with bravery, and style, of course.
  • Smith Jared is fine as hell. Okay, so this isn’t really a lesson. But DAMN is Smith Jared (real name: Jason Lewis) the hottest thing you’ve ever seen or what? Sure, there were some hotties that we saw on Sex & The City, but he takes the cake. Duh, he’s the Absolut Hunk!
  • Paris doesn’t always mean love. Even though Big swoops in and saves Carrie in the end, those final two episodes when she’s in Paris with the Russian. Ugh! I die. Every. Single. Time. I watch that! When she calls Miranda?

 

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