Checking Out.

In late October, Austin and I got into a pretty heated fight (big shocker, I know). He was coming into town for Thanksgiving the following month and I told him it would be a good time for us to meet each other’s parents—my mom was coming in town to cook with me and he was going to stay at his parents’ place in town.

He didn’t think it was a good idea, saying that his parents didn’t like meeting people on holidays or some load of complete bullshit. It really pissed me off that he would be in the same city as me, but wouldn’t be able to find time to see me, or if he did, it would be on his terms. Although it hurt my feelings, it really helped me put things into perspective.

I was casually seeing someone new, and slowly pushing Austin out of the picture. And then, he sent me a Thanksgiving card that was completely odd:

GET DECKED OUT

And have a great Thanksgiving!

Holly Ann,

I hope this card brightens your day! is that a smile on your face? Good! These past couple of weeks I have been thinking. I know you are going through a lot of stress right now, so I’m gonna try my best to be support for you rather than a headache! I’m also gonna stop asking questions about your future! See, now aren’t you happy? Well one main purpose of this card was to wish you a happy Thanksgiving. I hope you realize how lucky you are to have a friend like me. I hope you truly are thankful this Thanksgiving! Ha ha, I couldn’t help it! On a serious note, I want you to know that I am truly blessed to have someone like you in my life, you make me laugh on my shittiest day! That means so much to me. You also put up with all of my bullshit. OK, enough about me and how much better you are! I hope this card has brightened your day, made you laugh, made you cry, brought you down for a second only to lift you back up forever…wow that was pretty cheesy! As you can see, I need some help writing, maybe you can start proofreading my cards! Well have a GREAT day Holly, you are an amazing and extraordinary person!

Love,

Austin

When Thanksgiving actually came around, I didn’t see or talk to Austin despite us being in the same city. I spent time with someone new. Months passed and I distanced myself from Austin—the more time went on, I realized just how wrong he was for me, but I hadn’t had my moment of clarity just yet.

In early February, Austin told me he was coming to Baton Rouge on behalf of his job. They wanted him to represent their company at the LSU job fair. I thought it was cool that he would be in town, but a previous fight we’d had came to the surface—both times I’d been to Dallas, I paid for the flights by myself, which was fine, but I felt like he needed to visit Baton Rouge on his dime.

He said I was being petty, that he was coming in town to see me—but in reality, he was getting a free trip and he was coming in town to represent his job. Regardless, he asked if he could stay with me and I said it was okay. I was still bartending and had to work happy hour the day he flew in town. He made plans to meet me at the bar at 7p.m., and have a few drinks before I got off work.

That morning, I wasn’t excited to see Austin. I was worried I had made the wrong decision in agreeing to letting him stay at my house. I’d already slept with someone new, who I really liked, and I didn’t want to mess that up. I didn’t even know if I wanted to see Austin at all.

But I kept my word, decided to face my demons, and go to work. Before I knew it, 8 o’clock rolled around and no word from Austin. He was an hour late. I still had one more hour of work left, so I kept at it.

But my mind started buzzing and before I knew it, my blood was boiling. This was a perfect example of everything our relationship had been since it’s beginning. Everything was always on Austin’s watch, no matter what. I was done. I was sick of being treated like shit, being second best to everything. I stared at the door, praying he wouldn’t arrive. When happy hour ended, I counted my drawer as fast as I could.

“On my way, don’t leave,” he texted.

Two hours late, and that’s what he had to say? I grabbed my purse, my coat, and ran to my car, hopped inside and sped home like a bat out of hell. He didn’t know where I lived, so once I pulled onto my street, I breathed a sigh of relief. I got inside my apartment, locked the doors, and sat in my bed laughing my ass off.

It was the greatest moment I’d felt in all of dating breakups. I’d finally felt the light switch. Austin called and texted me all night, to which I didn’t answer or respond. He was at the bar, with his suitcase, and nowhere to stay.

When my friends heard the story, they thought I was a little mean. But I didn’t care. Austin had treated me like shit for years and he finally got what was coming to him. With Austin, nothing I ever said resonated. So I had to show instead of tell. Keeping my mouth shut was the best thing I ever did for that relationship.

I didn’t talk to Austin for more than a year. One Sunday evening, he sent me a text message saying he wanted to talk. I was in love with someone else, doing great in my job, and had moved on. So, I agreed to talk to him.

We talked on the phone about our work and he asked me about my dating situation. I told him I was happy with someone new, and we’d been together for a year. Austin told me he just ended a six-month relationship with the woman he thought he was going to marry.

He told me this story, saying he went and dated a girl I told him to date—someone who didn’t cuss, was religious, didn’t drink, and wore clothes that covered her. They lived an hour away from each other, but spent every weekend together. Austin was ready to propose, so he took the last step—flying her to New Orleans to meet his family.

He was excited for her to see all of the things he loved about New Orleans: the food, the music, but most of all, the booze. But when the plane landed, she had other things in mind. She pulled out a list of antique stores and old plantation homes she wanted to visit. So that’s what they did. She even took Austin to get his photo taken, dressed in old clothing, her holding a parasol.

When it came time to visit Austin’s New Orleans, the French Quarter, she didn’t dance, she didn’t drink. Austin said he thought of me.

“We used to just laugh, Holly. We had fun. And she didn’t make me laugh,” he said.

Austin wanted a second chance. But I told him no, and offered him the best of luck finding someone just like me.

Posted on November 28, 2010, in The Ingredients and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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